Buying an engagement ring

[Grooveriding]

Buying online is not tacky. Selection is better, both on the diamond front and the setting, plus prices are better. I would go into a large jewellery store with a wide selection to get a sense of what the difference is between different grades, colours and cuts of diamonds. It will help you understand why when you go online the visual difference between a 1ct diamond dictates a few thousand and another 1ct diamond that goes for $10K. I think this a lot of BS imo that such huge swings in price are based on a few metrics that you only notice if you stick your face in it.

I agree with some of the sentiments expressed here about how ugly the diamond trade is, but it is a thing. I don't agree with the whole spending X% of your yearly salary on one though. That can be a really obscene amount of money that is better put to the honeymoon. Honeymoon=great memories right after your wedding. Engagement ring=shiny rock that loses its luster fast after the initial oohing and ahhing over it.

 

[Kaido]

It also isn't possible to throw a big wedding if you're poor, and it's well known that money problems and associated stress is a major factor in divorces. That doesn't prove that spending loads of money on superficial crap is good for a marriage, it proves that rich people are happier.

Finances & communication is huge in marriage. I always tell people it's about blueprints. Everyone has a personal blueprint for everything they deal with...their finances, chores, how they communicate, etc. When you get married, you need to merge those blueprints into a single new one so you're both on the same page. I think a lot of fighting comes from not doing that. It requires talking, thinking, compromise, change...and there's a LOT of topics to cover. Add in the stress of relationships, finances, etc., it gets hard...

 

[slugg]

Floated the mossanite idea by her and she kindly shot it down. She says 'Paul Jacob, I'm a diamond girl.' So that's that lol marketing wins again but I honestly don't blame her because diamonds are diamonds man.

Marry someone else.

 

[zerocool84]

found the article:
http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-high-quality-marriage-study-20140819-story.html


but while the wedding should be big, the expense should be small:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/13/living/wedding-expenses-study/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo.../201412/does-big-wedding-lead-better-marriage

How can you have a big wedding be cheap? Weddings are always insanely market up.

 

[MrSquished]

found the article:
http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-high-quality-marriage-study-20140819-story.html

fuck that. not live with someone before getting married? that's a definite no-no.

have 5 or less sleeping partners? well i'm older now, just turning into my 40's, but that was gone in my early 20's. i feel it means nothing. you truly fall in love you fall in love. whether you slept with 20 people or 3.

this whole survey was flawed, it surveyed single people, then 5 years later when they had been married. that's not a long enough time period IMO to be a serious study.

as far as a big wedding, i'll probably be stuck with that, but the plan is to have a small one. i'll have a divorce lawyer hired and invited to the wedding.

 

[kathykit]

Buying online is not tacky. Selection is better, both on the diamond front and the setting, plus prices are better. I would go into a large jewellery store with a wide selection to get a sense of what the difference is between different grades, colours and cuts of diamonds. It will seo help you understand why when you go online the visual difference between a 1ct diamond dictates a few thousand and another 1ct diamond that goes for $10K. I think this a lot of BS imo that such huge swings in price are based on a few metrics that you only notice if you stick your face in it.

I agree with some of the sentiments expressed here about how ugly the diamond trade is, but it is a thing. I don't agree with the whole spending X% of your yearly salary on one though. That can be a really obscene amount of money that is better put to the honeymoon. Honeymoon=great memories right after your wedding. Engagement ring=shiny rock that loses its luster fast after the initial oohing and ahhing over it.

Totally agree with you! Online shop must exit risks. You need to choose by your own.
If the girl who really love you and wanna marry you, who care the the diamond size, right?!
otherwise, experience more important! Maybe you can think more about the propose, just make it more romantic and surprise.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

You, sir, are a lucky man!

Also, never heard of moissanite, WOW the price difference on Etsy!

I've been married almost 20 years and while I have bought her plenty of jewelry over the years, including other gemstones, lab creations and crystal-based items, she has not once asked for a diamond, or hinted of wanting one, etc.

At this point I think I could move onto plastic costume stuff.

 

[Annisman*]

I'm learning quite a bit about engagement rings, personally I'm more interested in getting her a really nice band/setting than blowing the entire budget on the rock itself. Gotta find that balance though I guess. Gotta admit I'm actually really enjoying the shopping around bit.

 

[lxskllr]

You might want to look at estate jewelry. You can find some unique stuff that way, and ethical concerns have already been spent, so you can buy with a clear conscience.

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

I bought a man made diamond from Gemesis a few years ago and had it set in a band I found at a local jewelry store. It was important to me to avoid the diamond trade and that's how I pitched it to my then-girlfriend. I made it clear that a mined diamond was not an option. She insisted on a diamond and not synthetic like Moissanite, so man made was the only choice. The ring turned out great. It saved me about $1500 on the stone but it still wasn't cheap.

 

[MrSquished]

article on NPR today about man-made diamonds

http://www.npr.org/2016/12/01/50233...paign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=202801

 

[Imported]

Buy online from a reputable place. If you know she wants a round, http://www.pricescope.com/tools/hca it.