Brutuskend...

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Alphathree33

Platinum Member
Dec 1, 2000
2,419
0
0
"<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers"

Lol, I love that...
 
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Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Ok, Give me a few and I'll see what I can come up with.

(Slow today, I AM SICK!!!!! I HATE when that happens)
 
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Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Here's a joke...how do I make this work?




<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1"><!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1106" name=GENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=#ffffff>
<DIV align=center><FONT size=2><IMG alt="" hspace=0
src="cid:002301c26439$463fe060$6401a8c0@laptop" align=baseline
border=0></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>


Can I post it somewhere and make it viewable?




 
bunker

bunker

Lifer
Apr 23, 2001
10,572
0
71
I just cut and pasted it and saved it as an html file and all I get is a red X when I view it.

what the hel| is this: src="cid:002301c26439$463fe060$6401a8c0@laptop
 
B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
(1) What does the average Florida player get on his SATs?
..........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 8 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
..........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get an Alabama cheerleader into your dorm room?
..........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
..........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the Tennessee cheerleaders wear bibs?
..........To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

(6) Why is the Vanderbilt football team like a possum?
..........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Mississippi State football player's life?
..........His freshman year.

(8) How many LSU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
........None....That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
..........Lexington, Kentucky. He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Clemson choose orange as their team color?
..........You can wear it for the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.


 
B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me."

The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "Wow, no kidding? How long have you been practicing law?"

 
bigrash

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,648
28
91
Here's one i copied and pasted from a different forum:


Getting a Haircut

Women's version:
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?

Man1: Yeah.

 
B

bmacd

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
10,869
1
0
lol...the only "bruteskend joke" thread that brutuskend didn't start. Funny thread, regardless.

-=bmacd=-
 
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NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Ok, Give me a few and I'll see what I can come up with.

(Slow today, I AM SICK!!!!! I HATE when that happens)
Click to expand...

:Q

I thought I just had an alergy attack or something this morning with a runny nose. Now, at 4:30pm, I can hardly talk (and I'm AT WORK ON THE PHONES), have a stuffy nose sometimes and a runny nose other times, sinus pressure, sore muscles, burning throat, etc. I haven't seen a friend of mine in two years and I have an appointment to see her tomorrow :frown: :(

Hope you get better, Dave.

nik
 
G

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0
Originally posted by: bigrash9
Here's one i copied and pasted from a different forum:


Getting a Haircut

Women's version:
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:

Man2: Haircut?

Man1: Yeah.
Click to expand...

heh it's more like:

man2: did you get a haircut?
man1: huh? oh... yea...
 
B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Yeah I'm feeling better allready. Seems it only lasted a couple of days.
Hopefully you have the same thing and it will run it's course as quickly as mine did.

Still sorry to hear your sick.
Sucks I know.

Thank GOD I got over it fast.

Been moving stuff for thr last three days, and have to finnish up tonight. (Everything to storage since I can't move into the new place till Sat or Sun.. Kinda like moving TWICE in the same week!!! ARGHHHHHHH

BUT AT LEAST I GOT A PLACE... WOOOO HOOOO!!
 
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