Brother taking advantage of parents

[IEC]

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

 

[Modelworks]

Originally posted by: Dacalo
And why aren't you talking to your brother about this instead of posting on ATOT?

Because I'm in like my parents worried that he will get angry and that would leave them with nobody.

 

[Chryso]

Originally posted by: steppinthrax
This story sounds a lot like my sister.

You have certian people in this world who don't have the "Internal ability to feel shame" they also don't contain "the internal motivation to become a self sufficient person".

My sister is still living with my parents as far as I know. She is more then 20 years old. Let's put it this way everthing you would expect a full adult would need and get around that age she has gotten it from my parents all excluding a house. She also has no respect for taking care of the things she got because that's how it goes when you get everything so easily right????

Well my parents bought her (begged to get) a 2005 or something Pontiac fullly loaded when she got to H.S.. Well she drove the car to the ground. By the time she had finised H.S. it had key scratches all over it from freinds she angered, collision damage and a bad transmission. I also might add the car only had 74K on it. She also had numerous speeding tickets. My parents paid for numerous automotive repair expenses and gas.

When I argue about it with her it dosen't register.......

Because she feels it's her parents responsibility to take care of her for the rest of her life......

It is completely your parents fault for giving her everything.
Who gets a car when they START high school?

 

[Modelworks]

Originally posted by: Modeps
Have they expressed this unhappiness to you, or is this just speculation? Also, doesn't the assisted living community provide transportation to things like Doctor appointments?

Yeah they tell me about it every time I call them.
They are having a hard time with medicine cost and really don't need my brother leeching off them. I send them money when I can, but I hate knowing its going to pay my brother.

 

[Modelworks]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Talk to your brother and tell him to stop being a douche bag. If he is really struggling with paying for gas for these trips, offer to split the cost with him, but tell him to stop taking money from the parents.

Thats the thing, he has a business that brings in several thousand weekly.
He has enough money to get drunk on weekends and throw parties , but not enough to stop using our parents 🙁

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: Modelworks

Originally posted by: Modeps
Have they expressed this unhappiness to you, or is this just speculation? Also, doesn't the assisted living community provide transportation to things like Doctor appointments?

Yeah they tell me about it every time I call them.
They are having a hard time with medicine cost and really don't need my brother leeching off them. I send them money when I can, but I hate knowing its going to pay my brother.

Solution:


Craigslist:

Seeking dependable person to drive parents to Doctor's office. 50 bucks per round trip.


Then tell brother to fuck himself.

 

[Sphexi]

Go up there and thump your brother good. He obviously needs a little lesson in humility. My brother lives the closest to my parents, just about an hour or two away from them, I'm on the other side of the country. But I know that I can trust him to handle stuff if need be, so I'm not worried there.

 

[Epic Fail]

Originally posted by: Chryso
It is completely your parents fault for giving her everything.
Who gets a car when they START high school?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=konX2e5yJE8

watch and learn.

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

My parents paid for a car for me when I got to high school. It wasn't anything special, a '93 civic, but it was still generous. They also paid for me through college, including my food, fraternity costs, and even allowance. Up until I finished school, I had only had a couple summer jobs.

I'm not saying that your statement isn't true - I think that there is some truth to it. All I know is that I think I have turned out okay (in my opinion).

I'm almost 23 now, living on my own, working as a network engineer. I am completely responsible financially, living a stable life.

Like I said, I'm not saying you're wrong - All I'm saying is that parents who support their children through college, etc, may not be doing the wrong thing. Had they not supported me, I *seriously* doubt I would be where I am now.

 

[moshquerade]

you need to talk to him, adult to adult, without being accusatory and self righteous. for starters, you need to tell him you are concerned with your parent's financial situation.

 

[kranky]

Your parents need to tell your brother that they cannot afford to pay him that much for taking them to the doctor and they need to work out arrangements with him to start paying back what he owes them if that was the deal. Look, it's really this simple. If they can't afford it, they need to do something. If they don't do something, eventually they will be UNABLE to pay him AND they will be broke. Why not do something now, before they are broke?

What's the worst that can happen? He refuses to take them any more? So you help your parents make other arrangements. First thing is to ask the doctor's office and the apartment complex office if they are aware of transportation services that might be available. Maybe they can find doctors who are closer. Maybe the doctor has other patients in that same complex, and they can arrange appointments to share rides.

Really, if the worst that can happen is the brother refuses to take them any more (other than for the actual cost of gas), then they might as well push for getting reimbursed for the loan.

 

[legoman666]

Originally posted by: TheTony
Help your folks find a closer doctor? Or help find them some more reasonable transportation? $300 is ridiculous, in terms of transportation costs. That's basically a car payment.

exactly what I was thinking. For that kind of cash, they could buy a POS beater car and drive themselves.

 

[legoman666]

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

While I wouldn't call myself financially independent, I just paid back my parents the last money that I owed them. My parents can afford to pay for my college 100% but they choose not to (besides its not even too expensive). I worked a co-op job this quarter so I actually made some decent money. I own my own car, a laptop, 4 computers, pay for my gas, pay for my insurance, pay for my tuition. However, I do live at home (sophomore in college) simply because it is free. That said, I am looking into getting an apartment sometime soon now that I have the money. I live ~35 miles from campus and the commute sucks ass.

 

[alkemyst]

Tell your parents for about $200 you can help them solve this.

 

[steppinthrax]

Originally posted by: Dacalo

Originally posted by: steppinthrax
This story sounds a lot like my sister.

You have certian people in this world who don't have the "Internal ability to feel shame" they also don't contain "the internal motivation to become a self sufficient person".

My sister is still living with my parents as far as I know. She is more then 20 years old. Let's put it this way everthing you would expect a full adult would need and get around that age she has gotten it from my parents all excluding a house. She also has no respect for taking care of the things she got because that's how it goes when you get everything so easily right????

Well my parents bought her (begged to get) a 2005 or something Pontiac fullly loaded when she got to H.S.. Well she drove the car to the ground. By the time she had finised H.S. it had key scratches all over it from freinds she angered, collision damage and a bad transmission. I also might add the car only had 74K on it. She also had numerous speeding tickets. My parents paid for numerous automotive repair expenses and gas.

When I argue about it with her it dosen't register.......

Because she feels it's her parents responsibility to take care of her for the rest of her life......

I pity the fool who marries your sister.

She's engagned to this hispanic dude who is illegal. He flew back to Mexico one day and the only way he could get back is jump the boarder.

 

[steppinthrax]

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

 

[Agentbolt]

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

There's some middle ground between subsidizing your kid's existence completely, and cutting them off completely at age 18. They're both a little excessive.

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

There's some middle ground between subsidizing your kid's existence completely, and cutting them off completely at age 18. They're both a little excessive.

I completely agree.

 

[steppinthrax]

Originally posted by: Tizyler

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

My parents paid for a car for me when I got to high school. It wasn't anything special, a '93 civic, but it was still generous. They also paid for me through college, including my food, fraternity costs, and even allowance. Up until I finished school, I had only had a couple summer jobs.

I'm not saying that your statement isn't true - I think that there is some truth to it. All I know is that I think I have turned out okay (in my opinion).

I'm almost 23 now, living on my own, working as a network engineer. I am completely responsible financially, living a stable life.

Like I said, I'm not saying you're wrong - All I'm saying is that parents who support their children through college, etc, may not be doing the wrong thing. Had they not supported me, I *seriously* doubt I would be where I am now.

I left my parents house at 17 - 18. My parents bought me a car (similar to yours) a small econo car used (1995 Saturn) but I drove and treated that car well (drove it past college 212K).

However, they didn't pay for my college. Nor much of anything else. I paid rent and bought a house at 23 yo. I have a wife and 3yo daughter right now at 25. I'm a computer Systems Analyst.

I believe people who are left alone in a bad enviroment or a poor situation will eventually adapt to their enviroment. Dependencey is never a good thing. Because you are depending on that one person for your need. The crazy thing about this is that eventually parents will either die off.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

There's some middle ground between subsidizing your kid's existence completely, and cutting them off completely at age 18. They're both a little excessive.

Why is it excessive if I cut them off when the finish high school?

 

[legoman666]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

There's some middle ground between subsidizing your kid's existence completely, and cutting them off completely at age 18. They're both a little excessive.

Why is it excessive if I cut them off when the finish high school?

because you cannot honestly expect them to be able to pay for college, food, and room and board on their own. News flash, costs of college education has increased since 1960, gas prices have increased, and cost of living in general has increased. All the while wages have not kept up.

Unless you want your children to not seek a higher education, work at a factory job and make 40-60k a year for the rest of their life.

 

[sniperruff]

call a livery cab.

 

[kranky]

Originally posted by: legoman666

Originally posted by: CPA
Why is it excessive if I cut them off when the finish high school?

because you cannot honestly expect them to be able to pay for college, food, and room and board on their own. News flash, costs of college education has increased since 1960, gas prices have increased, and cost of living in general has increased. All the while wages have not kept up.

Unless you want your children to not seek a higher education, work at a factory job and make 40-60k a year for the rest of their life.

Not to take sides in this, but I will say that I paid my own way through school without any help from my parents, who couldn't have afforded it anyway. And I did OK. Work, loans, being frugal, and realizing you don't have to attend an expensive school. It is doable.

 

[steppinthrax]

Originally posted by: legoman666

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: steppinthrax

Originally posted by: QurazyQuisp

Originally posted by: CPA
And people wonder why I am prepping my kids (ages 14, 11, 9, 6) that once they are 18 that they are out of the house and on their own. I have people comment that I am cruel to discuss these things with my kids. But, I will make sure my kids are ready for the real world and not leeching off of me at every moment I am alive.


edit: ooooo, 15,000 posts. hurray for me.

Hi-five for you. My parents did this for me and I could not be happier. (given all the crap that my friends get from their parents, and how limited they are as well) Granted I'm about 21 so I've really only soaked it in for about three years, it is excellent. I feel so much more confident about almost everything I do compared to my friends. Not to mention I don't need to ask permission before I do something because my parents are not paying for it. They are more then willing to provide advice when I want/need it but beyond that I'm on my own. The one thing they still do pay for is my cell phone bill, but that's because I'm on the family plan.

When parents subsidize their children they don't give them the tools necessary to be happy successful financially independent adults for their future.

I mostly agree with this statement. I have a lot of peers in college who are still dependent on parents for everything financially and it's kind of sad to hear them calling for permission to buy this or pay for that. They are also the kind who get phone calls from parents every day.... I call my parents maybe every other week or so and I handle all my expenses myself. Wouldn't have it any other way because it gives me the freedom to decide for myself and makes me a bit more frugal as well 🙂

It's also sad because these are the type of people you can talk to them about how wrong they are until your blue in the face and they just don't get it. They don't know the "Cutoff Point" where they are on their own.

There's some middle ground between subsidizing your kid's existence completely, and cutting them off completely at age 18. They're both a little excessive.

Why is it excessive if I cut them off when the finish high school?

because you cannot honestly expect them to be able to pay for college, food, and room and board on their own. News flash, costs of college education has increased since 1960, gas prices have increased, and cost of living in general has increased. All the while wages have not kept up.

Unless you want your children to not seek a higher education, work at a factory job and make 40-60k a year for the rest of their life.

Well I didn't ever go though the whole room and board thing when I went to University. I found a shared housing situtation where I rented a room in a house. It went well. As far as job goes I worked at the Marriott as a front desk agent during college. It paid 8.75 an hour and they worked with my college schedule. I later became a lost prevention agent there as well and I could work night shift 11 - 7 full time. Which meant I would sleep all day and have night classes.

Everybody must make sacrafices and crawl before they walk.

In my opinion you don't get much when you do the room and board thing. You just end up partying and waisting money.

 

[Danman]

Originally posted by: kranky

Originally posted by: legoman666

Originally posted by: CPA
Why is it excessive if I cut them off when the finish high school?

because you cannot honestly expect them to be able to pay for college, food, and room and board on their own. News flash, costs of college education has increased since 1960, gas prices have increased, and cost of living in general has increased. All the while wages have not kept up.

Unless you want your children to not seek a higher education, work at a factory job and make 40-60k a year for the rest of their life.

Not to take sides in this, but I will say that I paid my own way through school without any help from my parents, who couldn't have afforded it anyway. And I did OK. Work, loans, being frugal, and realizing you don't have to attend an expensive school. It is doable.

I think there's kind of a middle point here that could be established, depending on the parent.

Here in Florida, they have a Pre-Paid College Program parents can establish when the child is at a young age. Depending on which program they choose, they can pay for two years, four years, four years + books, over a five year loan. Whatever they lock in will pay whatever it costs for the child to go to college at a public university.

For me, my parents did the four year college plan. This really helped out, but they told me I'm on my own for everything else. I also got a scholarship that paid for some living expenses, but I got two jobs immediately when I moved to college. Remember, living expenses are usually a lot more than the cost of a public university.

I also think juggling school, work, and a personal life builds character. I've seen some of my peers who were in different situations (parents pay for everything or they work themselves to death) who fail. Ultimately, there's a balance to it, but it's needed for young adults to grow and understand responsibility. I know for a fact when I have kids I'll help them a little bit, but I will make sure they work for their own goals and life.