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Broke up with girlfriend...

Atlantean

Diamond Member
So tonight I was out with my girlfriend (err ex now) and she decided we were going to the bar, she knows I hate the bar but dragged me along anyways. We got there and I just sat and watched people play pool because I really didn't feel like dancing to the ****** band they had, and because there weren't a lot of people dancing. We left a while later and in my car she asked me "Why are we together?" Why do I think we were together? I really have no idea, generally its not something I would give a ton of thought to or write a 10 page paper on. She expected me to have all these answers and then started getting mad about the things we don't have in common, I agreed with everything she said and she said so I guess thats it then? I said yes, dropped her off and left. I am really not sure how I should have reacted to that situation, I didn't really think we had anything in common but we enjoyed being together sometimes. I wasn't just with her for sex, I liked being with her when she was in a good mood.

Some background: We had been dating for about 4 months, she was kinda insecure about herself, she also didn't have a lot of money which didn't really matter to me. This lack of money is something she brings up often and then begins comparing her life to mine and saying how I grew up being able to have whatever I wanted (not exactly true, but whatever close enough for her). First of all you can't really compare two peoples lives and expect them to have the same experiences, and secondly if she wants to change her financial situation then she has to make proactive steps to do so and not waste money on things like alcohol, cigarettes etc. She also claimed that she didn't want to change for anyone and didn't want anyone to have to change for her but constantly tried to change what I liked, wanted me to listen to her music, do the things she likes.

Sorry that this post is somewhat all over the place and if it doesn't make sense I will fix it in the morning, I am just really tired and kinda annoyed.

EDIT: I should also mention that I don't really care that she broke up with me, I was a bit annoyed, but could see it coming. The "Why are we together?" or any question of that nature are pretty good reasons to end it I think.
 
No reason to settle. Dating is about seeing what your likes/dislikes are. I don't see anything wrong with asking the question "why are we together?". Better to ask after a few months than a few years.

Move on, find someone better. 🙂
 
Women like to ask stupid questions like these... including things like 'what do you like/love about me?' 'what are you thinking about right now?' etc etc I think they just want to test our commitment. Looks like you failed that test!
 
If my girlfriend asked me why we're together (unless it's in a joking or cute sense, like why do you like me type of thing).. it's ground for an immediate dismissal.
 
Originally posted by: Looney
Women like to ask stupid questions like these... including things like 'what do you like/love about me?' 'what are you thinking about right now?' etc etc I think they just want to test our commitment. Looks like you failed that test!

Naw I've seen one or two girls ask me that question seriously, if you have to think about it or ask you probably shouldn't be doin it.
 
Inevitably, a girl will try and change you or change for you and as soon as things start to not work out they say that they will never change for someone nor should someone change for them. However, it is the exact opposite. I have found that they will change for someone if they like the person enough and would say that we all do. As time goes on though, we usually revert back to our old habits/comfort zone.
 
It sounds to me that she didn't trust you. Probably been hurt before, thinks maybe you are too good for her. She probably thought the relationship was a pipe dream and decided to confront it. Unfortunately you weren't ready for it. If you don't want to be with her, then there's not really any point to fixing this. But if you do, you need to be quick.
 
Originally posted by: RyanSengara
If my girlfriend asked me why we're together (unless it's in a joking or cute sense, like why do you like me type of thing).. it's ground for an immediate dismissal.

I agree.
 
the thing I think is the worst - it appears that you are a nonsmoker, and you dated a smoker

GROSS


that smell in her hair, in her clothes, in her bed, at her house..yuck and thats not even to talk about kissing her
 
Originally posted by: SagaLore
No reason to settle. Dating is about seeing what your likes/dislikes are. I don't see anything wrong with asking the question "why are we together?". Better to ask after a few months than a few years.

Move on, find someone better. 🙂

qft.

Thank god that conclusion came after 4 months rather than 4 years.

 
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
She met someone else and was trying to ditch you as fast as possible. It worked.

Sad but it has a good chance of being true, is not the legal age to drink and smoke alcohol 21 in US?
 
Originally posted by: npoe1
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
She met someone else and was trying to ditch you as fast as possible. It worked.

Sad but it has a good chance of being true, is not the legal age to drink and smoke alcohol 21 in US?

I am in Canada... legal age is 19, also pretty sure she didn't meet someone else but if she did oh well. She cried when we broke up.
 
This sounds like it was a good thing. You guys shouldn't have been dating if after 4 months you don't know why. This was a painless breakup for both of you, you'll both go out and meet other people that like more of the things that you do. You should both feel good about this in the morning 🙂
 
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