Broke up with girlfriend...

Atlantean

Diamond Member
May 2, 2001
5,296
1
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So tonight I was out with my girlfriend (err ex now) and she decided we were going to the bar, she knows I hate the bar but dragged me along anyways. We got there and I just sat and watched people play pool because I really didn't feel like dancing to the ****** band they had, and because there weren't a lot of people dancing. We left a while later and in my car she asked me "Why are we together?" Why do I think we were together? I really have no idea, generally its not something I would give a ton of thought to or write a 10 page paper on. She expected me to have all these answers and then started getting mad about the things we don't have in common, I agreed with everything she said and she said so I guess thats it then? I said yes, dropped her off and left. I am really not sure how I should have reacted to that situation, I didn't really think we had anything in common but we enjoyed being together sometimes. I wasn't just with her for sex, I liked being with her when she was in a good mood.

Some background: We had been dating for about 4 months, she was kinda insecure about herself, she also didn't have a lot of money which didn't really matter to me. This lack of money is something she brings up often and then begins comparing her life to mine and saying how I grew up being able to have whatever I wanted (not exactly true, but whatever close enough for her). First of all you can't really compare two peoples lives and expect them to have the same experiences, and secondly if she wants to change her financial situation then she has to make proactive steps to do so and not waste money on things like alcohol, cigarettes etc. She also claimed that she didn't want to change for anyone and didn't want anyone to have to change for her but constantly tried to change what I liked, wanted me to listen to her music, do the things she likes.

Sorry that this post is somewhat all over the place and if it doesn't make sense I will fix it in the morning, I am just really tired and kinda annoyed.

EDIT: I should also mention that I don't really care that she broke up with me, I was a bit annoyed, but could see it coming. The "Why are we together?" or any question of that nature are pretty good reasons to end it I think.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
No reason to settle. Dating is about seeing what your likes/dislikes are. I don't see anything wrong with asking the question "why are we together?". Better to ask after a few months than a few years.

Move on, find someone better. :)
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
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Women like to ask stupid questions like these... including things like 'what do you like/love about me?' 'what are you thinking about right now?' etc etc I think they just want to test our commitment. Looks like you failed that test!
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
If my girlfriend asked me why we're together (unless it's in a joking or cute sense, like why do you like me type of thing).. it's ground for an immediate dismissal.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: Looney
Women like to ask stupid questions like these... including things like 'what do you like/love about me?' 'what are you thinking about right now?' etc etc I think they just want to test our commitment. Looks like you failed that test!

Naw I've seen one or two girls ask me that question seriously, if you have to think about it or ask you probably shouldn't be doin it.
 

nightowl

Golden Member
Oct 12, 2000
1,935
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Inevitably, a girl will try and change you or change for you and as soon as things start to not work out they say that they will never change for someone nor should someone change for them. However, it is the exact opposite. I have found that they will change for someone if they like the person enough and would say that we all do. As time goes on though, we usually revert back to our old habits/comfort zone.
 

Malak

Lifer
Dec 4, 2004
14,696
2
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It sounds to me that she didn't trust you. Probably been hurt before, thinks maybe you are too good for her. She probably thought the relationship was a pipe dream and decided to confront it. Unfortunately you weren't ready for it. If you don't want to be with her, then there's not really any point to fixing this. But if you do, you need to be quick.
 

AgentJean

Banned
Jun 7, 2006
1,280
0
0
Originally posted by: RyanSengara
If my girlfriend asked me why we're together (unless it's in a joking or cute sense, like why do you like me type of thing).. it's ground for an immediate dismissal.

I agree.
 

erub

Diamond Member
Jun 21, 2000
5,481
0
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the thing I think is the worst - it appears that you are a nonsmoker, and you dated a smoker

GROSS


that smell in her hair, in her clothes, in her bed, at her house..yuck and thats not even to talk about kissing her
 

91TTZ

Lifer
Jan 31, 2005
14,374
1
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She met someone else and was trying to ditch you as fast as possible. It worked.

 

Bitek

Lifer
Aug 2, 2001
10,676
5,238
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and you didn't respond to her question:

"b/c of my enormous penis?"



Its always worked for me.
 

Tiamat

Lifer
Nov 25, 2003
14,068
5
71
Originally posted by: SagaLore
No reason to settle. Dating is about seeing what your likes/dislikes are. I don't see anything wrong with asking the question "why are we together?". Better to ask after a few months than a few years.

Move on, find someone better. :)

qft.

Thank god that conclusion came after 4 months rather than 4 years.

 

npoe1

Senior member
Jul 28, 2005
592
0
76
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
She met someone else and was trying to ditch you as fast as possible. It worked.

Sad but it has a good chance of being true, is not the legal age to drink and smoke alcohol 21 in US?
 

Atlantean

Diamond Member
May 2, 2001
5,296
1
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Originally posted by: npoe1
Originally posted by: 91TTZ
She met someone else and was trying to ditch you as fast as possible. It worked.

Sad but it has a good chance of being true, is not the legal age to drink and smoke alcohol 21 in US?

I am in Canada... legal age is 19, also pretty sure she didn't meet someone else but if she did oh well. She cried when we broke up.
 

DaiShan

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
9,617
1
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This sounds like it was a good thing. You guys shouldn't have been dating if after 4 months you don't know why. This was a painless breakup for both of you, you'll both go out and meet other people that like more of the things that you do. You should both feel good about this in the morning :)