Man I am disappointed after reading all the post I didnt see the Bruce Lee Ownage clip...
Someone PLEASE...
Someone PLEASE...
i think that by rewarding him with such a large reward you are only encouraging future bad behaviour. i'd reward but with something a lot smaller...
then again, i'm not a parent so what do i know?
then again, i'm not a parent so what do i know?
johnjohn320
Diamond Member
- Jan 9, 2001
- 7,572
- 2
- 76
I think it would be foolish to reward him. Threaten to ground or spank him, but don't reward him for something he is SUPPOSED to do! Reminds me of the Chris Rock sketch about someone saying they got a job. It is something you are SUPPOSED to do. You don't need a reward for it. I think you are setting a dangerous precedent if you do this.
hell yeah!!!!!
it will get him to behave!!
problem is that he won't have any motivation to be good when you aren't there.
it will get him to behave!!
problem is that he won't have any motivation to be good when you aren't there.
bribery for good behavior is a good idea, when done in the correct way. let him know you appreciate his cooperation and reward him with maybe taking him out to dinner, or the movies, or something that doesnt cost that much. if you give him such a large reqard, he will grow accustomed to it.
Tell him if he sits through the boring part he can have snacks and lunch with everyone else (that is his "reward"). And if he's a real troublemaker he has to stay in the car or can't have his favorite snack at that part of the day (his punishment)
supposed to do? He and his family from this post i geather are not religious. I don't see a reason why he should be forced to do this unless his mom is forcing him so that his wife family don't give her a big lecture on why wasn't your son there
Yes. That is exactly what I said. Until you are an adult you don't have a say in what your parents want you to do.
iamme
Lifer
- Jul 21, 2001
- 21,058
- 3
- 0
yikes, DVD player and big screen TV are quite a gift for behaving. i don't see anything wrong w/ rewarding good behavior, but at this rate you'll be buying him a Porsche when he graduates high school. 
hopefully you haven't made this proposal to him yet. maybe try to bargain with him with "smaller" rewards.
hopefully you haven't made this proposal to him yet. maybe try to bargain with him with "smaller" rewards.
ViRGE
Elite Member, Moderator Emeritus
- Oct 9, 1999
- 31,516
- 167
- 106
I'm going to go against the grain here, and say that a bribe is a good idea. For a 13 year old to sit still for nearly 6 hours is nuts in and of itself; even at school, you have passing time at least every 1.5 hours, and your spoken to in a language you understand. The fact that he's expected to sit still for multiple hours, without being able to understand a single word is just asking for trouble. That said, a bribe is a good idea in this case, as it will give him something to focus on durring the cememonies. Just make it very clear that this is a one time thing for such extrodinary circumstances, and that he shouldn't be expecting such stuff in the future. He is 13, neither a kid nor a man; he is old enough to understand things like bribes, even though he isn't quite old or mature enough to sit through a long ceremony he won't understand.
PS Whatever you do, don't follow the advice of spanking the poor guy. If you're going to spank him for something like this, it sets one hell of a precedent for bigger things in the future
PS Whatever you do, don't follow the advice of spanking the poor guy. If you're going to spank him for something like this, it sets one hell of a precedent for bigger things in the future
Anubis
No Lifer
Yet another reason our society is filled with slack asses. Rewarding a 13 y/o for a few hours of being well behaved?!
Hell, when I was 8 my "reward" for being well behaved was not getting an ass whippin from my father. Needless to say this was very much reward enough for me to behave when called upon.
Hell, when I was 8 my "reward" for being well behaved was not getting an ass whippin from my father. Needless to say this was very much reward enough for me to behave when called upon.
well come to the 21 century. When i was 10 and my dad threaten to spank me i called the cops and cop told my dad next time we come out you are going to jail. The mother should tell her relatives not to mind there own business about why the son did not show up to this event. It should only son choice if he wants to go or not. Nothing will happen to anyone if he decdieds not to go. Its not end of the world if he stays home
All you'll have to look forward to is bribing him with bigger and more expensive items as he gets older. So rather than teach him how to behave appropriately in society, you teach him that good behavior is only justified when rewarded. ::shakes head:: Tell him he's expected to behave a certain way and punish him when he doesn't. There's no need to reward him for anything. And if you choose to reward, you'll create a whining "gimme" child who will annoy you and everyone in his future because he won't comprehend why he isn't rewarded whenever he does something right. When he isn't rewarded he will eventually turn evil and lead a life of crime. So if you're happy with raising a criminal then order his DVD player and 50' Plasma right now. Just don't complain when he's on the TV show Cops when he's 19.
I hope breaks are allowed. It's hard enough watching a three hour movie let alone three hours of a blank movie screen.
I hope those cops lost their jobs, you are lucky, It is not illegal to spank your children, and there is a difference between corporal punishment and abuse. You are suggesting a 13 yr old be allowed to make choices like that on his own? If he was mature enough to do that he would understand the importance of family and his being there for the ceremony.
Part of being a parent is teaching your children how to behave as adults. Not being able to "do whatever you want to do", but being responsible enough to do what you are "supposed" to and having the insight to understand the difference. This child nor you know the difference, see how well your plan works.
Pull your kid to the side and explain to him his presence is wanted by both his mother and his family and he has a responsibility to both. Explain to him that he is only 13 yrs old and has no right to do anything but obey and respect your wishes. Explain to him that he will be required to be quiet and pay attention during the ceremony and that any deviation from what is expected will result in swift and severe puinishment, your choice to beat the bastard, ground him, torture, etc.
You are better off telling the kid to stay at home and to not bother listening to you ever again if you are planning on bribing him. YOU ARE THE PARENT, ACT LIKE ONE ALREADY.
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