Originally posted by: shira
Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
I have a friend who is gay. Before I met him I had absolutely no opinion on the subject, in fact I had never seriously considered the right or wrongness of the issue. Now, I thoroughly believe that he had no choice in the matter. Homosexuals are what they are. Not you, me, the government, or any magical fairies in the sky can ever change the fact that some people are sexually attracted to others of the same gender. You may twist their minds by utilising the basic desire to "fit in" and be free of a socially taboo subculture to create any number of "successful gay to straight transitions", but all you are really doing is forcing people to be something that they are not.
Originally posted by: Aquila76
I don't believe sexuality is a choice, based on what I've read & experienced. If you have sexual feelings one way, the other, or both, that's normal and no one can tell you otherwise. Sexuality is no different than skin, eye, and hair color; you are born with it. You can try and hide it (like skin/eye/hair color), but under the outward appearance the person you are within remains.
First, let me make a distinction, which I'll then proceed to render totally irrelevant:
Clearly, most of us have no choice whatsover as to which sex we feel desire towards. If attraction is a choice, then I (a straight male) should be able to "train" myself to be attracted to and desire men. I simply find that notion impossible to swallow, since as far as I can tell, my reaction to the appearance of women is at the most visceral, physical, "primitive" level - there's no "cognition" involved in the process. And I have no reason to doubt that the attraction of gays toward others of the same sex is similiary primitive.
Now, certainly, whether or not to ENGAGE in sex (or the pursuit of a sexual partner) is a conscious activity, involving choice. But this is NOT a "choice" that has any significance in the gay/stright debate. Frankly, I think it would be the equivalent of torture for someone whose most basic attractions are focused on one gender to engage in romantic relationships with someone of the opposite gender. And the alternative for gays advocated by the right - not only lifelong abstinence, but denying oneself the love and romantic connection of a life partner, is cruel beyond measure. So, this "solution" advocated by the right is no solution at all, as it doesn't recognize and
accept (a stronger word than "tolerate") the valid emotional and physical needs of real human beings.
Now, I included those quotations above because, while I completely agree with the sentiments expressed, I believe that focusing on "choice" is just allowing oneself to be drawn into a fraudulent game of "blame the victim" perpetrated by the right. The right wants to turn the debate about human rights into a debate about choice.
(An aside: There's a certain irony in the right's foisting "choice" on the gay-rights debate. After all, "choice", albeit in a somewhat different sense of the word, is THE central issue in the abortion-rights debate - the right doesn't think any woman should have a choice at all. When it comes to gays, however, the right insists that gays cannot help having a choice.)
But getting back to this fraud perpetrated by the right: Why does it matter whether gays have a choice? Let's suppose every gay is making a conscious choice to be attracted to people of the same sex, and then acting on that choice. My question: Why should that matter? If having sex with someone of the same sex makes you happy, whether a "choice" is involved or not, I say go for it!
Isn't the "pursuit of happiness" one of THE fundamental tenets of the establishment of the United States? Where in the Constitution does it say that sexual/romantic happiness is to be restricted to heterosexual couples? Where does it say that only if no "choice" is involved, is the pursuit of happiness okay?
The point is, when a righty tries this "choice" nonsense, ask them why they're changing the subject and refocus the debate on what really matters: the right of every human being to be free to pursue happiness, without limitations placed on them by intolerant bigots.