Blonde joke

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Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch." But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!" And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...

(Scroll down!!)

























"W I N A B A G E L"
 
S Freud

S Freud

Diamond Member
Apr 25, 2005
4,755
1
81
For your sake remove that "joke" and admit to nothing about there ever being anything in the OP.

I'm here to help.
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: S Freud
For your sake remove that "joke" and admit to nothing about there ever being anything in the OP.

I'm here to help.
Click to expand...

ill take my chances
 
sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,656
207
106

Somewhere in a casino, a blond and another man both walk up to a soda machine at the same time. Being a gentleman, he allows her to go first, she puts 4 quarters in the machine and pushes the button, and out pops a bottle of coke. the gentleman watches as she repeats this 6 times or so, finally he gets impatients and asks, can I get one now?

and she replies... LIKE DUH... GO GET YOUR OWN MACHINE, I'M STILL WINNING!!!!
 
amdhunter

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,332
249
106
Originally posted by: z0mb13
Originally posted by: amdhunter
lol, I don't get it.
Click to expand...

u serious??? winnabago sounds like winabagel right...
Click to expand...

Oh, lol. I guess I was trying to hard to figure it out. I kept pronouncing it syllable by syallable instead of saying outright quickly.

It's still a dumb joke though.
 
HomeBrewerDude

HomeBrewerDude

Lifer
Jan 18, 2001
14,465
1
0
here... let me help this joke thread out:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have gotten out today."
 
IEC

IEC

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Jun 10, 2004
14,607
6,094
136
1/10. Only because you made an effort.
 
B

BlancoNino

Diamond Member
Oct 31, 2005
5,695
0
0
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
here... let me help this joke thread out:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have gotten out today."
Click to expand...

LOL!!!!
 
Z

z0mb13

Lifer
May 19, 2002
18,106
1
76
Originally posted by: BlancoNino
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
here... let me help this joke thread out:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have gotten out today."
Click to expand...

LOL!!!!
Click to expand...

man this is probably reposted bajillion times already
 
S

Sqube

Diamond Member
Dec 23, 2004
3,078
1
0
Originally posted by: z0mb13
Originally posted by: BlancoNino
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
here... let me help this joke thread out:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

"I would have gotten out today."
Click to expand...

LOL!!!!
Click to expand...

man this is probably reposted bajillion times already
Click to expand...

After the "joke" you just laid down, you're not really in a position to talk smack about, well... anything.
 
D

daveshel

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 1999
5,453
2
81


Sarah, a blonde, bought two horses, and could never remember which was
which. Her neighbor, also a blonde, suggested that Sarah cut the tail of one horse.
That worked great until the other horse got his tail
caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like
the other horse's tail, and Sarah was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested Sarah notch the ear of one horse. That
worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed
wire fence. Once again Sarah couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested Sarah measure the horses for height.
When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse
was 2 inches taller than the black one.
 
sao123

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,656
207
106
Originally posted by: daveshel


Sarah, a blonde, bought two horses, and could never remember which was
which. Her neighbor, also a blonde, suggested that Sarah cut the tail of one horse.
That worked great until the other horse got his tail
caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like
the other horse's tail, and Sarah was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested Sarah notch the ear of one horse. That
worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed
wire fence. Once again Sarah couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested Sarah measure the horses for height.
When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse
was 2 inches taller than the black one.
Click to expand...


shens... everyone knows that black ones are longer.
uh... I mean taller.
 
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