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Bible readers

Originally posted by: jjones
Point #1: Jericho is fucked

1 Moses wuz ded, an teh Cieling Cat sed, Oh hai Joshua.2 Mah bff Mosus is ded. 🙁 Now u get ppl inna box an take em over teh Jordan an i give u land.3 Cuz Moses wuz all, i can has land? an i sed, YA RLY.4 U getz frum desrt 2 Lebanon, an frum Euphrates 2 grate See.5 No1 kin pwnz0rz joo. U n me is bffs liek Moses. 6 U is in deez pplz base, leadin em 2 promised land.7 U be all, I is strong. An I is currageous. Do alla that Lawzorz i give 2 Moses - on left, DO NOT WANT. An on rite, DO NOT WANT.8 U has book. b thinkin on teh book. An be all, I kin do alla that LOL1! Then u can has cheezburger.9 Dint i say so? U be strong. U be curragous. Dont be all, OH NOES cuz i gotchoo kthxbye." 10 An Joshua sed, LOL!11 Hey everbuddy! Ceiling Cat sez, we can has land! 12 But u Reubenite guyz n u guyz frm Gad n u half-guyz frum Mannasseh,13 Rmember we gotsta doo what Moses sed 2 do: Ceiling Cat made u sum rest n sum land, an dint eated it.14 Ur wifes n chillens getsta stay in ur land from Moses, but u guyz gotsta set up us teh bomb!15 When u dun we kin all play 2gether kk? 16 N they sed, kk.17 We followz u liek we followzed Moses. But we hopes u is bffs wit teh Cieling Cat liek Moses.18 If deys try to pewpew yous, den we kiel himz, woots Joshua!
 
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love
 
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

gj trolling, thanks for being predictable.
 
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

LOL
 
Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

LOL

If all you guys are going to do is troll and bash a person's set of beliefs, I would ask that you keep it to yourselves.

If you have questions, I'm sure that people more than willing to talk about their beliefs, listen to yours and just talk.

OP - Is there something specific you wanted to know about the Book of Joshua? Asking what the point of an entire book in the Bible is way too much to attempt to put in a post 😉

-Kevin
 
Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Could you give me 10 key points of the book?

By points, do you mean a general outline or important (doctrinal) principles?

Here's a general outline:
"
I. Entering the Promised Land (1:1-5:15)

II. Conquering the Promised Land (6:-12:24)

A. The Central Campaign (6:1-8:35)
B. The Southern Campaign (9:1-10:43)
C. The Northern Campaign (11:1-15)
D. The Summary of Conquests (11:16-12:24

III. Distributing Portions in the Promised Land (12:1-22:34)
A. Summary of Instructions (13:1-33)
B. West of the Jordan (14:1-19:51)
C. Cities of Refuge (20:1-9)
D. Cities of the Levites (21:1-45)
E. East of the Jordan (22:1-34)

IV. Retaining the Promised Land (23:1-24:28)
A. The First Speech by Joshua (23:1-16)
B. The Second Speech by Joshua (24:1-28)

V. Postscript (24:29-33)" - John MacArthur Study Bible (NASB)

If you want doctrinal points, I can summarize them if you want.
 
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
If all you guys are going to do is troll and bash a person's set of beliefs, I would ask that you keep it to yourselves.

If you have questions, I'm sure that people more than willing to talk about their beliefs, listen to yours and just talk.

OP - Is there something specific you wanted to know about the Book of Joshua? Asking what the point of an entire book in the Bible is way too much to attempt to put in a post 😉

-Kevin

He gave you 10 points to use. Typical answer though.

I don't buy into any form of the bible we have today being the true story.
 
Originally posted by: uhohs
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

gj trolling, thanks for being predictable.

In his defense, this sounds like a "I'm too lazy to google answer for my philosophy homework" thread.

It used to be just math and physics problems.
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
If all you guys are going to do is troll and bash a person's set of beliefs, I would ask that you keep it to yourselves.

If you have questions, I'm sure that people more than willing to talk about their beliefs, listen to yours and just talk.

OP - Is there something specific you wanted to know about the Book of Joshua? Asking what the point of an entire book in the Bible is way too much to attempt to put in a post 😉

-Kevin

He gave you 10 points to use. Typical answer though.

I don't buy into any form of the bible we have today being the true story.

He didn't give me 10 points. He gave me 10 stereotypes that people always try to use!

-Kevin
 
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

The things preachers say usually have nothing to do with the Bible. If you're going to depend on some idiot to tell you what books say instead of reading them yourself, you deserve whatever you get.
 
Originally posted by: Cheesetogo
Originally posted by: jjones
Point #1: Jericho is fucked

1 Moses wuz ded, an teh Cieling Cat sed, Oh hai Joshua.2 Mah bff Mosus is ded. 🙁 Now u get ppl inna box an take em over teh Jordan an i give u land.3 Cuz Moses wuz all, i can has land? an i sed, YA RLY.4 U getz frum desrt 2 Lebanon, an frum Euphrates 2 grate See.5 No1 kin pwnz0rz joo. U n me is bffs liek Moses. 6 U is in deez pplz base, leadin em 2 promised land.7 U be all, I is strong. An I is currageous. Do alla that Lawzorz i give 2 Moses - on left, DO NOT WANT. An on rite, DO NOT WANT.8 U has book. b thinkin on teh book. An be all, I kin do alla that LOL1! Then u can has cheezburger.9 Dint i say so? U be strong. U be curragous. Dont be all, OH NOES cuz i gotchoo kthxbye." 10 An Joshua sed, LOL!11 Hey everbuddy! Ceiling Cat sez, we can has land! 12 But u Reubenite guyz n u guyz frm Gad n u half-guyz frum Mannasseh,13 Rmember we gotsta doo what Moses sed 2 do: Ceiling Cat made u sum rest n sum land, an dint eated it.14 Ur wifes n chillens getsta stay in ur land from Moses, but u guyz gotsta set up us teh bomb!15 When u dun we kin all play 2gether kk? 16 N they sed, kk.17 We followz u liek we followzed Moses. But we hopes u is bffs wit teh Cieling Cat liek Moses.18 If deys try to pewpew yous, den we kiel himz, woots Joshua!

God that lol speak takes so friggen long to read
 
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
If all you guys are going to do is troll and bash a person's set of beliefs, I would ask that you keep it to yourselves.

If you have questions, I'm sure that people more than willing to talk about their beliefs, listen to yours and just talk.

OP - Is there something specific you wanted to know about the Book of Joshua? Asking what the point of an entire book in the Bible is way too much to attempt to put in a post 😉

-Kevin

He gave you 10 points to use. Typical answer though.

I don't buy into any form of the bible we have today being the true story.

He didn't give me 10 points. He gave me 10 stereotypes that people always try to use!

-Kevin

Hey if it is old testament, his points were probably pretty close. Unless it was about Abraham or Dave and kicking ass.

I do not fall into the "religious" category. Don't buy it. But from a philosophical stand point, I do like the stuff Jesus had to say. He had some great idea. Too bad too many take the old testament stuff as "absolute" but the stuff JC said as a "good suggestion".
 
Here's a quick outline (wrote it now, so it's not in depth, and its more than 10 points):

The Book of Joshua covers the campaign against the Canaanites and God delivering the land of Canaan into the possession of Israel.
The book starts with Joshua being instructed, guided, and encouraged by God in the duties of leading the people. Then Joshua assumes command of the people, and sends spies into the land of Jericho (chapter 2), where Rahab shelters them on the condition that her family would be spared from judgment (they agree, and she and her family are spared). In chapters 3 and 4 Israel crosses the Jordan river, the ark of the covenant preceding them. In chapter 5, all the males of Israel are circumcised (a physical sign of separation unto God), because they are the younger generation born in the wilderness that was not killed during the 40 years of wandering, and they were not circumcised.

Chapter 6 is when the conquest of Jericho takes place, when God commands Joshua to march around the city once every day, for six days, and seven times on the seventh, and the trumpets were to be blown by the priests. Joshua did so, and the great walls of Jericho (thick enough to build houses upon) were completely leveled. Chapters 7 and 8 cover the conquest of Ai. Chapter 9 covers the Gibeonites deceiving the nation of Israel into making a peace treaty with them (though the nation of Israel was at fault in not seeking God's counsel).

Chapter 10 is the record of the five kings (Kings of Jerusalem, Hebron, Jarmuth, Lachish, and Eglon) mounting an assault on Gibeon, and the LORD's response of slaying of those king's armies. The rest of the chapter covers the conquering of southern Palestine, and chapter 11 covers the conquest of northern Palestine and the defeat of the Anakim (only some remained in Gaza, Ashdod, and Gath remained after that). Chapter 12 is a list of the kings defeated by the Israelites during their conquest of the land of Canaan. Chapters 13-19 is the division of the land among the tribes. Chapter 20 covers the establishment of the six cities of refuge (sanctuary for those who committed manslaughter). Chapter 21 covers the 48 cities of the Levites (they didn't have a parcel of land for themselves, being the priestly tribe, but had cities throughout the other tribes' lands).

Chapter 22 covers the misunderstanding between the two and a half tribes and the other tribes over the alter than two and a half built. This nearly leads to war, but then it is explained by the two and a half that the altar was just for remembrance, not for use, and not meant as an act of rebellion or idolatry. In chapter 23 Joshua gives his farewell address in which he tells the people to obey God and trust Him. In chapter 24 Joshua reviews the history of Israel before the people, and they promise to obey the LORD. At the end of the chapter, Jsohua dies and is buried in Ephraim. The bones of Joseph, whose remains were brought out of Egypt to be buried in Canaan, are finally buried in Shechem.
 
Originally posted by: Psynaut
Haven't read it, but just guessing from what I have seen the preachers say on Sunday morning, I expect it goes something like this:

Hate gays
Hate abortions
Hate evolution
Hate non-believers
Hate the environment
Hate endagered species
Hate sex
Hate tolerance
Hate peace
Profess Love

You're not supposed to sum things up so succinctly. You need to hide the hatred in a lot of archaic language. The thumpers eat that stuff up.
 
Originally posted by: Crono
Here's a quick outline (wrote it now, so it's not in depth, and its more than 10 points):

The Book of Joshua covers the campaign against the Canaanites and God delivering the land of Canaan into the possession of Israel.
The book starts with Joshua being instructed, guided, and encouraged by God in the duties of leading the people. Then Joshua assumes command of the people, and sends spies into the land of Jericho (chapter 2), where Rahab shelters them on the condition that her family would be spared from judgment (they agree, and she and her family are spared). In chapters 3 and 4 Israel crosses the Jordan river, the ark of the covenant preceding them. In chapter 5, all the males of Israel are circumcised (a physical sign of separation unto God), because they are the younger generation born in the wilderness that was not killed during the 40 years, and they were not circumcised.

Chapter 6 is when the conquest of Jericho takes place, when God commands Joshua to march around the city once every day, for six days, and seven times on the seventh, and the trumpets were to be blown by the priests. Joshua did so, and the great walls of Jericho (thick enough to build houses upon) were completely leveled. Chapters 7 and 8 cover the conquest of Ai. Chapter 9 covers the Gibeonites deceiving the nation of Israel into making a peace treaty with them (though the nation of Israel was at fault in not seeking God's counsel).

Chapter 10 is the record of the five kings (Kings of Jerusalem, Hebron, Jarmuth, Lachish, and Eglon) mounting an assault on Gibeon, and the LORD's response of slaying of those king's armies. The rest of the chapter covers the conquering of southern Palestine, and chapter 11 covers the conquest of northern Palestine and the defeat of the Anakim (only some remained in Gaza, Ashdod, and Gath remained after that). Chapter 12 is a list of the kings defeated by the Israelites during their conquest of the land of Canaan. Chapters 13-19 is the division of the land among the tribes. Chapter 20 covers the establishment of the six cities of refuge (sanctuary for those who committed manslaughter). Chapter 21 covers the 48 cities of the Levites (they didn't have a parcel of land for themselves, being the priestly tribe, but had cities throughout the other tribes' lands).

Chapter 22 covers the misunderstanding between the two and a half tribes and the other tribes over the alter than two and a half built. This nearly leads to war, but then it is explained by the two and a half that the altar was just for remembrance, not for use, and not meant as an act of rebellion or idolatry. In chapter 23 Joshua gives his farewell address in which he tells the people to obey God and trust Him. In chapter 24 Joshua reviews the history of Israel before the people, and they promise to obey the LORD. At the end of the chapter, Jsohua dies and is buried in Ephraim. The bones of Joseph, whose remains were brought out of Egypt to be buried in Canaan, are finally buried in Shechem.

Dude, the kid's getting an A+ on his homework now. Until the instructor finds this thread, he'll keep that A+ and pass his class.

Usually when you're caught cheating you're given a failing grade for the class, entirely.

Liberal media teaches people how to commit crimes. I said that when I was 18, still proves true to this day. But I'm not sure if I knew what I was talking about ...
 
Originally posted by: SirStev0
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
If all you guys are going to do is troll and bash a person's set of beliefs, I would ask that you keep it to yourselves.

If you have questions, I'm sure that people more than willing to talk about their beliefs, listen to yours and just talk.

OP - Is there something specific you wanted to know about the Book of Joshua? Asking what the point of an entire book in the Bible is way too much to attempt to put in a post 😉

-Kevin

He gave you 10 points to use. Typical answer though.

I don't buy into any form of the bible we have today being the true story.

He didn't give me 10 points. He gave me 10 stereotypes that people always try to use!

-Kevin

Hey if it is old testament, his points were probably pretty close. Unless it was about Abraham or Dave and kicking ass.

I do not fall into the "religious" category. Don't buy it. But from a philosophical stand point, I do like the stuff Jesus had to say. He had some great idea. Too bad too many take the old testament stuff as "absolute" but the stuff JC said as a "good suggestion".

I have never once heard anything remotely close to that in the Old Testament - Yes, there is a religious war in place; however, every underlying principle leads back (or forward - however you look at it) to Jesus' greatest commandment to "love one another".

You're not supposed to sum things up so succinctly. You need to hide the hatred in a lot of archaic language. The thumpers eat that stuff up.

Have you ever taken an English class and read a story that, on the surface, you said "No way" - but there were literary and stylistic devices that made it absolutely amazing? Why should you read the Bible any differently? Why are you giving it that double standard? Just to try and prove a point (or points) that don't fit with ANY OTHER lesson in the Bible?

-Kevin

I embrace the Old Testament still. I have said it before and I will say it again, I believe every word in the Bible.
 
Originally posted by: Gamingphreek
however, every underlying principle leads back (or forward - however you look at it) to Jesus' greatest commandment to "love one another".

ROFLMAO!!!! What book are you supposedly reading? Everything in the big book of fairy tales preaches loving everyone who blindly sheeps along with the rest of the flock. Everyone that doesn't blindly follow is raped, murdered or sold into slavery.
 
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