better comebacks then George's

Jul 12, 2001
10,142
2
0
just watched Seinfeld the other day and the episode where a guy says-

"Hey George, the ocean called, they said they're running out of shrimp"

was on. George came up with the comeback

"Yeah well the jerk-store called and they're running out of you"

but many did not like these, here were some others-

Kramer- "Yeah well I slept with your wife"
Elaine- "Your cranium called and it said its got some space to rent"

what would your best comeback be?

mine (also serves good to yell at atheletes :)- "Your mom called and she said 'YOU SUCK!'"

:)
 

minendo

Elite Member
Aug 31, 2001
35,558
20
81


<< "Yeah well I slept with your wife" >>


I think it would be near impossible to top that one.
 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,512
22
81
I still like Jimmy Buffett's classic, "Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?".

ZV
 

falias

Golden Member
May 13, 2001
1,262
0
0
Lol. Um, his wife is in a coma.


Mine would be..Fvck you and everyone that looks like you.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
<< "Yeah well I slept with your wife" >>

Yeah you and the Sixth fleet, guess who was first?
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,674
10,114
146
I was just distressed to find out that there are no actual jerk stores. So . . . where does Texmaster do his shopping? :Q
 

brxndxn

Diamond Member
Apr 3, 2001
8,475
0
76
Yeah well I slept with your wife

I can top that...

"Because of that, you die now."
 

etech

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,597
0
0
Norm has George beat.
............
What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

"What's new Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."

"What'd you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'll you have Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."

"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

"Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

"Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, `Insert beer here.'"

"Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

"Women. Can't live with `em....pass the beer nuts."

"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

"What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going IN Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."

"Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
 

Sluggo

Lifer
Jun 12, 2000
15,488
5
81
Woody: "Hows life in the fast lane Mr. Peterson?"

Norm: "I dont know Woody, I cant find the on-ramp."
 
Jul 12, 2001
10,142
2
0
"What'll you have Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."



like that one
 

etech

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,597
0
0
Glad you enjoyed it Red,

Just one more for tonight.

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the United States Forest Service (USFS) were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seemed that, after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated, then let loose again
...
and the population would be controlled.

This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's association by the Sierra Club and the USFS.

Well, all the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, kicked his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. These coyotes ain't f**kin' our sheep, ...they're eatin' em."
 

bootymac

Diamond Member
Aug 20, 2001
9,597
0
76
Here's what I say whenever I'm in a flame war on Battle.net:

Person: <insult>
Me: Yeah, and so is your mom

Person: <something about me>
Me: And your mom sucks in bed

Person: <says anything>
Me: Dude! Stop looking at your dad! Your dick is in my eye!!

:)