I've used both VNC and PCAnywhere. I use VNC to control my iMac at home behind a firewall from my PC here at work. That way I can test whether or not the webpages I design work on Macs (I'm a web developer/Java programmer). I use PCAnywhere to control my work PC from my laptop. I usually VPN in to work's network, and then connect to my PC to do software builds and transfer files that I work on at home.
PCAnywhere has crashed a couple times on me (which means a trip out to work to reboot the computer) and VNC isn't too stable on a Mac. I doubt it ever will since they're no longer doing any work on VNC. I like PCAnywhere though since it has more options for encryption and security. Both sound like they would work for you. One other note, VNC is free, PCAnywhere is not.