Best Jokes.. Keep this going

[dragonballgtz]

What are the best you heard? Any and every joke.

 

[Alias]

Here are a few:

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of
the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the
guy in front said, "Okay, let?s get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back
shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front said, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass,
but you'd better brace yourself."

==================

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That
night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy
negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her
husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same
negligee the night we were married."

She said, "That's right. Do you remember what yo said to me that
night?"

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asked.

He responded, "As I remember, I said, ?Oh baby, I'm going to suck the
life out of those big tits and screw your brains out.? "

She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So,
now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that
night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished."

====================

and my current fav's...


You Know You're a Redneck Jedi When . . .


You use the force to cheat at fishing, bowling, and long-distance
spitting.

More than half the droids you own don't function.

The number of blasters you own exceeds your I. Q.

You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot
while vacationing on Hoth.

Your moonshine is made on the moon.

You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the
dip stored in your back pocket.

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You've used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a DUI.

You've strangled people with the force because they laughed at your
accent.

You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

You've argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

You've wrecked several landspeeders while lighting cigarettes with
your lightsaber.

You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

You've gone AT-AT tipping.

Jabba's pig guards think you have a hygiene problem.

You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

You discovered that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who
also happens to be your brother.

================

Ok, that's all for now... 8)

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

wanna know how i make it 10"? fold it in half 😎

just let me know and i'll edit that out if it's too risque.

 

[Rand]

Best joke: BitBoys Oy!
They were and are a joke.