Best Buy: Designed and Run by the Criminally Insane
I love stores where everytime I enter I swear I will never set foot in one again - 9 mos. since the last time, but I was in a rush to get a dvd and wanted to use their store pickup feature - just run in, show my id and credit card, and run out. I even left the dog in the car on this 94 degree No Cal day. How long could it possibly take?
Cue Lights, and Action
Customer, running in to store meets cheery, if vacuous yellow shirted door person.
Yellow Shirt: Hello, welcome to best buy, do you have a copy of our flyer...
Customer (interrupting): No man, no. Just tell me where to do a store pickup.
Yellow Shirt: Store pickup?
Customer: YES, store pickup.
Yellow Shirt: You mean from BestBuy.com?
Customer: Yes. That would be where I placed the store pickup order.
Yellow Shirt: Just head over to customer service, points in a general direction and returns to beating nuns with a universal remote...
Scene: The NW quadrant of the store, facing a giant oval shaped counter which has 3 areas of lines around it, one says "returns and exchanges" one says "technical help" and one says "Big Screens, Stereos" but this might be the continuation of some kind of maddening scrawl across the walls of this store. Big screen. Redrum. But I digress.
Area 1, Returns and Exchanges, has 14 people in line.
Area 2, Technical Help, has 4 people in line, all of whom immediately look like they've been there since 1998. One is sitting on his PC reading a gaming magazine.
Area 3. Upon closer inspection, turns out to be where the techs are working. A 70 year old gentleman (customer) is behind the counter trying to pack a pc into a box while a disinterested Best Buy tech looks on.
Customer: Oh Fudge. This can't be right.
Scene: Customer returns to yellow shirted nun-beater.
Customer: I'm sorry, which line for store pickup?
Yellow Shirt: Over there... Customer Service, where those reps are.
Customer: Actually, no area over there is marked customer service, do you mean returns and exchanges?
Yellow Shirt (noncommittally): Yeah, sort of over there.
Scene: The Returns and Exchanges Line, now with 12 people in line.
Customer: Fudge This, I'll go buy the movie off the shelf and let them refund my store pickup.
Scence: Shelf. Looking barren where the DVD I am purchasing was pulled by yellow shirted nun-beater.
Scene: The Retuns and Exchanges Line
Customer. Waits. Waits Waits.
Scene: The counter
Customer: Hi, I'd like to complete an instore pickup?
Blue Shirted Moron: From BestBuy.com?
Customer: No, from CircuitCity.com. how many freakin types of store pickups do you have where the person hands you a BestBuy.com confirmation letter.
Transaction, completes, eventually...
Exiting:
Yellow shirted nun-beater: Thanks so much for shopping at Best Buy.
Customer, in fit of madness: You know, a store pickup option seems like it should be a time saver - does it seem insane to you that you would have people do pickups at the two longest lines in the store.
Yellow shirted nun-beater: Shrug
Customer, furthering the insanity of talking to a sub-gamma: I mean, think about it. Wouldn't you guess that most people who do store-pickup want to get in and out. That they are trying to save time in some manner, not wait in a return and exchange line at best buy, something I would not wish on Donald Rumsfeld?
Yellow shirted nun-beater: Shrug.
Return to car. Dog alive. Dog much happier then I am.
Immediately pick up cell phone and call Best Buy Customer Service.
Listen to menu options. Choose 7 "More options" since no option says anything like "report stupiditiy"
Listen to more options, again no choice that sounds even remotely like a complaints or anything.
Press Zero
Computer Man: Hey, I know it's annoying, but you've got to pick one of the choices so we can direct your call.
Sit through maddening menus again, eventually choose "Returns, and Store Policies" which seems sort of like what I'm interested in.
Cheerful BestBuy Drone: Hi, thanks for calling BestBuy. How can I help you today.
Customer: I'd like to make, well I guess it's a complaint, but sort of an observation, do you think on face value that a store pickup option should be a relatively quick thing?
BestBuy Drone: Noncommittal noise.
Customer: It's just that I've just come from the store and I had to wait in the returns and exchanges line for a very long time.
Best Buy Drone: So you'd like to make a complaint that the line is too long?
Customer: No, actually, I'm trying to complain that the process was designed by imbyssals.
I won't trouble you with too many more details, until we got to the part where she wanted to write up my complaint to the manager:
Customer: Am I just off base here, do you not think on face value that this system is absolutely insane?
Best Buy Drone: Can I help you with anything else sir?
And off we go. I publically swear not to do business with Best Buy ever again. Ever. I hope.
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