Best Bar joke.

[bolsen]

What's some good bar jokes. Obviously they have to be jokes you tell people, not paper funny jokes.

I used to have some, but i can't ever remember em.

 

[minus1972]

A horse walks into a bar and says ouch.

 

[mpitts]

Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

hahaha

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

that's very offending!! 😛

 

[mpitts]

Originally posted by: Yield

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

that's very offending!! 😛

Maybe to you. Personally, I think it's funny. 😀

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: minus1972
A horse walks into a bar and says ouch.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

 

[mpitts]

Originally posted by: pyonir

Originally posted by: minus1972
A horse walks into a bar and says ouch.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Or my favorite:

Ric Ocasek walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

 

[StageLeft]

A canadian, an american, and an englishman walk into a bar. The canadian says

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: mpitts

Originally posted by: Yield

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

that's very offending!! 😛

Maybe to you. Personally, I think it's funny. 😀

I do too... but I'm expecting someone will be offended... cause they are too uptight... 😀

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
A canadian, an american, and an englishman walk into a bar. The canadian says

that's a good one.

This one is hard to type out...but...

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "where's the bar tender."

 

[mpitts]

Originally posted by: Yield

Originally posted by: mpitts

Originally posted by: Yield

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

that's very offending!! 😛

Maybe to you. Personally, I think it's funny. 😀

I do too... but I'm expecting someone will be offended... cause they are too uptight... 😀

Hhaha.. Yeah, I know. That is why I posted it. 😀😀😀

 

[SendTrash]

There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.

So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'

'OK,' says the guy.

He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'

The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.

He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'

The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'


.... I guesss this is paper funny.. too long to tell when not sober

 

[vi edit]

A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I need a beer.......and a mop"

 

[Mallow]

Originally posted by: SendTrash
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.

So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'

'OK,' says the guy.

He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'

The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.

He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'

The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'


.... I guesss this is paper funny.. too long to tell when not sober

Heard that one before but good.

 

[Stifko]

A 12 year old girl is having a soda pop at a bar and a lesiban walks in. The barkeep asks the lesbian what she'll have. The lesbian replies that she'd like to have the little girl. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve minor to lickers."

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: Stifko
A 12 year old girl is having a soda pop at a bar and a lesiban walks in. The barkeep asks the lesbian what she'll have. The lesbian replies that she'd like to have the little girl. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve minor to lickers."

Nice! 😀

A priest, a bishop, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? The beginning of a joke?"


amish

 

[brtspears2]

A Canadian, Austrilian, and an American walk into bar. The American breaks his glass, saying "Glass is so cheap to me, so many more glasses to buy." The Austrilian follows, breaks his glass saying "We have so much sand, glass is cheap to produce." The Canadian, trying to fit in, pulls out a gun and shoots the American. He replies "We got so many Americans here..." 😱

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: mpitts
Jesus walks into a bar, sets four metal stakes on the bar and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

LMFAO man is that bad...

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: Stifko
A 12 year old girl is having a soda pop at a bar and a lesiban walks in. The barkeep asks the lesbian what she'll have. The lesbian replies that she'd like to have the little girl. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve minor to lickers."

LMAO

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Stifko
A 12 year old girl is having a soda pop at a bar and a lesiban walks in. The barkeep asks the lesbian what she'll have. The lesbian replies that she'd like to have the little girl. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve minor to lickers."

Nice! 😀

A priest, a bishop, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? The beginning of a joke?"


amish

That's pretty good. 🙂

 

[Syringer]

Originally posted by: ThePresence

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Stifko
A 12 year old girl is having a soda pop at a bar and a lesiban walks in. The barkeep asks the lesbian what she'll have. The lesbian replies that she'd like to have the little girl. The bartender says "Sorry but we don't serve minor to lickers."

Nice! 😀

A priest, a bishop, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? The beginning of a joke?"


amish

That's pretty good. 🙂

It should be, "What is this, a bar joke?"

 

[schizoid]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
A canadian, an american, and an englishman walk into a bar. The canadian says

I don't get it.

I mean, I know Canadians are genetically stupid but where's the punchline?

 

[Maverick]

heh...just watch that new Heineken commercial.

 

[MrDingleDangle]

an Englishmen, Scottsmen and Irishmen all sit down at a bar and order a guinness ...3 flies come and land in each glass...the Englishmen say "ew! barkeep get be another beer!"...the Scottsmen picks the fly out and throws it on the ground and drinks the beer...The Irishmen picks up the fly by its back legs and yells "SPIT IT OUT!"