But can I get her to go 4.7"...
That's the plan. She wanted to see them in person anyways.Take her to the store to look before you say the size of the screen to her. It looks small.
My list would be:
o iPhone 5C/5S (4")
o Nokia Lumia 920 (4.7")
o Motorola Moto X (4.7")
Depending on what OS you like... I personally like all three OS's - I've been particularly impressed by Windows Mobile 8 and the Lumia 920 has a great camera. If Win8 has the apps that you want, then the Lumia is a great pick. I also really like the feel and battery life of the Moto X. It's a great size, and feels and looks great. And then the iPhone is always a good choice - the new iOS7 refresh brings the feature set closer to parity with Android.
The Lumia 92x is not a small phone, its a big slab, just like my Maxx. That's not what the OP was asking for. The main reason people are recommending the Moto X is that its physically small despite the 4.7" screen.
Only bad thing about windows phone really is that the apps aren't up to snuff for the most part. Like, there is no official pocket client yet on windows phone, which is pretty awful. And you are stuck with IE. Can't install any other browsers on there. IE is competitive though.