Bellsouth Telemarketers are the dumbest people...

PsychoAndy

Lifer
Dec 31, 2000
10,735
0
0
Bellsouth gives me a cold call trying to get me to sign up for DSL. The saga begins:

Me:yo
BS (Bellsouth, not bull....well after hearing their pitch, n/m) telemarketer: uh hello
me: yeah, what do you want?
BS: hi, i'm calling to inform you that bellsouth DSL is now available in your area
me: isnt dsl the service where the distance from the central routing station (or whatever the hell they call it) is inversely related to the service quality? (the service deterriorates as you go farther out and is better when you're close)
BS: No, absoluteley not.
me: really?
BS: yeah, that's cable you're talking about (no pun intended with the bs abbreviation)
me: is that so?
BS: uh huh
me: what are you offering
BS: yes, we're offering 50% off activation and the DSL modem
me: thats nice, but i'll only try out your service if i can get a no cost or obligation trial period
BS: oh well thats what were offering
me: ok, so how's it work
bs: well we charge you 99.95 for installation and 99.95 for the dsl modem, and we credit you 50% back if you dont like it
me: ok, so if I dont like it, and send everything back, i'm still paying the 50%
bs: thats right
me: but how is that no cost? if i try it and dont like it, i'm still paying for it
bs: uh
*slight pause*
bs: well i can guarantee you that DSL is faster than anything you've experienced
me: really?
bs: yes, what internet connections have you used?
me: (now i'm bs-ing) T1, T3, OC93, OC36,OC3 that kind of stuff
bs: you've used a T1?
me: (still bs) yep
bs: what's a T1?
*at this point i'm trying to hold in all my laughter*
me: ah, its just another internet connection
bs: oh, well DSL is much faster than that T1 stuff you speak of
*chucking like mad right about now*
me: ok, so you're telling me that if i want to try your service, without cost or obligation, it's gonna cost me $100
bs: uh yeah
me: so doesnt that defeat the "no cost" portion of our conversation?
bs: uh....yeah
me: ok, i'll let you know
bs: dont you want to have a service faster than dial up?
me: yeah, sure i do
bs: so why dont you want to get in on this new program
me: i've already got cable
 

Windogg

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
10,241
0
0
LOL

Seems those on the otherside are just trained to read a script. Support isn't much better.

** On Hold For 45 Minutes **
Tech: Thank you for calling _______ how may I assist you?
Windogg: Hi, I was just wondering if cable modem service is down in ZIP Code xxxxx?
Tech: Yes I am afraid it is.
Windogg: Any idea when it will be back up?
Tech: We do not have a specific time right now sir. (SURPRISE SURPRISE)
Windogg: Well, thanks I'll hang in there then.
Tech: In the future, you can check the status of outages on our website
Windogg: Uhhhh...... come again?
Tech: Our website has a full status report on outages.
Windogg: That sounds kinda pointless.
Tech: Oh no, sir. It's very comprehensive. Just hop on and it will answer all your questions.
Windogg: Uhhhh..... and how do you propose I get on?
Tech: You connection is always on so just make that you homepage and you will always know the status of an outage.
Windogg: Oh, yea, right, how silly of me. Makes total sense.

*** CLICK ***

Dumbass
 

PsychoAndy

Lifer
Dec 31, 2000
10,735
0
0
hell, at least they can tell you if your area has probs. My RR call first has a 5 minute talk about Code Red, then it goes to some outsourced call center in Canada that can't tell me crap about local issues, and then I get transferred to a local tech that can kinda tell me if there are any local issues...
 

co0lbean

Member
Nov 3, 2000
132
0
0
My ex-roomate had a bellsouth telephone.
It was soooooooooo annoying.
It beeped every 24hrs and 1 min.
Bellsouth claimed it was not defective, so there was no need to change it