Becoming Illegal

[Brutuskend]

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and
2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Aren't you Ring yourself?

Did you post this a while back?

 

[JS80]

:thumbsup:

 

[DainBramaged]

LOL

 

[Nik]

:laugh:

 

[AaronB]

I would laugh if this didn't come off as a typical email chain letter.

 

[everman]

This broke my sarcasm detector and I just got it fixed

 

[Philippine Mango]

LOL

 

[SonnyDaze]

That's fvcking beautiful.

 

[WolverineGator]

Funny read, but it's all wrong and plays to the American public's ignorance. If that "Loyal Constituent" achieves his goal he will be worse off:

* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!
* You might save almost $10,000 a year, but you'll spend most of your life in the waiting room.
* I pay less than $500 / year for anything health care related (including insurance). ER = more expensive.
* burdensome car insurance premiums ... you better live in a no-fault state.

... don't know about the college thing.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: WolverineGator
... don't know about the college thing.

Its not reality yet but there are many illegal immigrant "advocates" in different states pushing for illegal aliens to get in-state tuition. Nancy Pelosi was just in Arizona agreeing with some Ariz State Lawmakers at a townhall meeting that this needs to happen.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: WolverineGator
Funny read, but it's all wrong and plays to the American public's ignorance. If that "Loyal Constituent" achieves his goal he will be worse off:

* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!
* You might save almost $10,000 a year, but you'll spend most of your life in the waiting room.
* I pay less than $500 / year for anything health care related (including insurance). ER = more expensive.
* burdensome car insurance premiums ... you better live in a no-fault state.

... don't know about the college thing.

Well if he is illegal then when he gets into an accident he just leaves the scene, no info is exchanged therefore he's out nothing.
He can adjust his exemptions to where he isn't paying any taxes out of his check.
If he is not in a big city the ER is not that bad.

 

[zebano]

Originally posted by: WolverineGator
Funny read, but it's all wrong and plays to the American public's ignorance. If that "Loyal Constituent" achieves his goal he will be worse off:

* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!
* You might save almost $10,000 a year, but you'll spend most of your life in the waiting room.
* I pay less than $500 / year for anything health care related (including insurance). ER = more expensive.
* burdensome car insurance premiums ... you better live in a no-fault state.

... don't know about the college thing.

1. The IRS taxes those who fill out their paper work and have SSNs. These are not illegal aliens. Some of us don't get refunds, we pay more (use your exemptions, tis better to owe a little than to give the government and interest free loan).
2. It's still free
3. You are lucky, my health insurance has a $700 deductible which gets paid every year.
4. Cars could be a problem, unless you don't get in an accident (like most of us).

 

[Beattie]

Send him this:

B. ELEMENTS OF RENUNCIATION

A person wishing to renounce his or her U.S. citizenship must voluntarily and with intent to relinquish U.S. citizenship:

1. appear in person before a U.S. consular or diplomatic officer,
2. in a foreign country (normally at a U.S. Embassy or Consulate); and
3. sign an oath of renunciation

Renunciations that do not meet the conditions described above have no legal effect. Because of the provisions of section 349(a)(5), Americans cannot effectively renounce their citizenship by mail, through an agent, or while in the United States. In fact, U.S. courts have held certain attempts to renounce U.S. citizenship to be ineffective on a variety of grounds, as discussed below.

http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship/citizenship_776.html

He has to go to another country and then reenter the US illegally. Then he can be an illegal immigrant.

 

[BoomerD]

While it's pretty old, and obvioulsy pure bullshit, it still makes a pretty good point. The illegals here get away with much more than legal citizens can. Here in Kahleeforneeya, they just skip across the border if they fvck up and don't get caught in the act, they FILL the hospital emergency rooms fot the kinds of things most of us would go see a family doctor over, like colds, flu, etc.( of course, never paying the bills, so the costs go up for those of us who do pay) and in general are a drag on the economy. Far too many of them have ZERO taxes taken out of their pay, have driver's licences (even from their own country) or have insurance. Talking to our insurance agent yesterday, (got a new car for our daughter) he says that the latest estimates are that over 45% of the drivers in Kahleeforneeya are uninsured. In part because of the high cost here, but that the high costs are driven (again, in part) by the high numbers of uninsured...WE get to pay for the damage they cause and can't pay for.
Time to round them all up and ship them home.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
While it's pretty old, and obvioulsy pure bullshit, it still makes a pretty good point. The illegals here get away with much more than legal citizens can. Here in Kahleeforneeya, they just skip across the border if they fvck up and don't get caught in the act, they FILL the hospital emergency rooms fot the kinds of things most of us would go see a family doctor over, like colds, flu, etc.( of course, never paying the bills, so the costs go up for those of us who do pay) and in general are a drag on the economy. Far too many of them have ZERO taxes taken out of their pay, have driver's licences (even from their own country) or have insurance. Talking to our insurance agent yesterday, (got a new car for our daughter) he says that the latest estimates are that over 45% of the drivers in Kahleeforneeya are uninsured. In part because of the high cost here, but that the high costs are driven (again, in part) by the high numbers of uninsured...WE get to pay for the damage they cause and can't pay for.
Time to round them all up and ship them home.

:thumbsup:, but P&N is <<--- that way.

 

[ForumMaster]

:thumbsup: :laugh:

 

[Chryso]

Originally posted by: WolverineGator
* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!

The amount of taxes you pay has nothing to do with whether you get a refund or owe more at the end of the year.

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: WolverineGator
Funny read, but it's all wrong and plays to the American public's ignorance. If that "Loyal Constituent" achieves his goal he will be worse off:

* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!
* You might save almost $10,000 a year, but you'll spend most of your life in the waiting room.
* I pay less than $500 / year for anything health care related (including insurance). ER = more expensive.
* burdensome car insurance premiums ... you better live in a no-fault state.

... don't know about the college thing.

1) When you are illegal, you are usually paid under the table in cash. This is a request to wipe all reported income and refund all the money that he paid.
2) You might save 10k a year, but some of us, it is more.
3) I set aside $1200 last year in pre-tax contributions. It was gone by July.
4) Insurance? Insurance? We don't need no stickin insurance.

 

[mugs]

Since when to illegal aliens get preferential treatment in law school admissions?

 

[SlowSpyder]

* IRS already takes taxes out of your paycheck, so what you're really asking for is to give up any refund and PAY MORE!

 

[polm]

They took our jooobs!