Beat my paycheck. An ATOT challenge

[LiuKangBakinPie]

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants 'more than 100%'. Well here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%. First of all, here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future. How does one achieve 100% in LIFE ? Begin by noting the following: if A=1, B=2... Z=26. Then:
H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%
Similarly,
K N O W L E D G E =
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%
But interesting (and as you'd expect),
A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%..... This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.
But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is
B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management, and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100% !

 

[alkemyst]

This confirms that you're very much out of the loop. Yes, "banker" refers to investment banker, much as it had for more than the last decade. No one gives a shit about tellers or whoever else you might call a banker. And no, bankers are not brokers and traders. Brokers and traders "broke into" the realm of "sales and trading". They do shit like flow or execution trading. Or if they're lucky they actually put on positions on behalf of whatever firm they were hired by. Regardless of whether they're in ibanking or trading, they make roughly the same amount starting out of undergrad (70-80k base, 10-15k signing, 40-60k bonus = ~150k).

Anyway kids on the trading side get way better hours. I'd rather be there than in banking any day so I don't know why you say it as if being a broker/trader is worse lol.

I never said anything about tellers.

Those in the mortgage business I worked with cleared $150k+ easy, but to say they all did is laughable.

Those investment bankers quickly find themselves in Starbucks when they don't perform.

 

[busydude]

umm you can verify through searches back that I started in banking and was in the market that turned BCD loans into a very profitable investment.

WTF is BCD? Bad conduct discharge?

 

[vshah]

big crazy delusion i think

 

[yottabit]

I never said anything about tellers.

Those in the mortgage business I worked with cleared $150k+ easy, but to say they all did is laughable.

Those investment bankers quickly find themselves in Starbucks when they don't perform.

I know a couple investment bankers (wall street) and they say the turnover rate is very high... but not usually due to poor performance, just getting burnt out by the ridiculous hours. Most people leave after 2-3 years, and then find that their skills don't really help then anywhere else. They were holdouts (7+ years) and now one is continuing to bank, and the other is paying her way through Harvard for dental school (no joke)

Once you put the pay in perspective with the amount of work they have to do and the skillset they must posses it's really not ridiculous.

 

[alkemyst]

B, C, D rated credit. In the early to mid 90's we could pick up these loans at pennies on the dollar as no one knew how to get them performing.

For those that owned homes worth hundreds of thousands/millions and just came short and were totally tapped, the company took the house into REO and sold them.

For others we could usually come back with an offer for them to re-finance with us for 75%-80% of the original mortgage amount. Get them seasoned for 3-6 months and then re-portfolio them in another sale.

There was lots of money in it.

 

[Juked07]

I never said anything about tellers.

Those in the mortgage business I worked with cleared $150k+ easy, but to say they all did is laughable.

Those investment bankers quickly find themselves in Starbucks when they don't perform.

You've got me there. I didn't realize those at the Charles Schwabs' in Tulsa, Oklahoma fancied themselves as bankers. I thought only the scum at bulge brackets were scummy enough to call themselves that =D Who knew that Joe Schmoes in the suburbs were just as douchy (and far less wealthy to boot).

We come from different worlds I guess.

 

[Juked07]

I know a couple investment bankers (wall street) and they say the turnover rate is very high... but not usually due to poor performance, just getting burnt out by the ridiculous hours. Most people leave after 2-3 years, and then find that their skills don't really help then anywhere else. They were holdouts (7+ years) and now one is continuing to bank, and the other is paying her way through Harvard for dental school (no joke)

Once you put the pay in perspective with the amount of work they have to do and the skillset they must posses it's really not ridiculous.

The typical ibanking analyst (front office entry level) rotation is a two year program anyway. The norm is to recruit for "exit opportunities" during those two years to move on to PE shops, hedge funds, PWM, etc.

 

[j&j]

Interesting your company allows it's IT sales staff to sell their own products on the side.

Most do not just due to the fact it would be too easy to steal deals.

sorry i wasn't clear, i don't sell my own companies products on the side at all. completely different product groups to completely different markets...

 

[videogames101]

I dont know if you guys know or not, they sell blank checks to print, i can print myself a million dollar check from xyz corp if i want to make a million a week.. hahaha
beat this

#winning

 

[busydude]

B, C, D rated credit. In the early to mid 90's we could pick up these loans at pennies on the dollar as no one knew how to get them performing.

For those that owned homes worth hundreds of thousands/millions and just came short and were totally tapped, the company took the house into REO and sold them.

For others we could usually come back with an offer for them to re-finance with us for 75%-80% of the original mortgage amount. Get them seasoned for 3-6 months and then re-portfolio them in another sale.

There was lots of money in it.

Ok, where are the pics of your plaques?

 

[SSSnail]

Wait, is that Azurik's new account?

 

[T_Yamamoto]

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants 'more than 100%'. Well here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%. First of all, here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future. How does one achieve 100% in LIFE ? Begin by noting the following: if A=1, B=2... Z=26. Then:
H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%
Similarly,
K N O W L E D G E =
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%
But interesting (and as you'd expect),
A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%..... This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.
But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is
B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management, and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100% !

Lol

 

[alkemyst]

sorry i wasn't clear, i don't sell my own companies products on the side at all. completely different product groups to completely different markets...

that makes sense.

 

[alkemyst]

Ok, where are the pics of your plaques?

 

[alkemyst]

BTW the 'black' card isn't such a holy grail if one owns a business or makes purchases for one.

The requirements are $250k in charges in a year on an existing American Express card in good standing and willingness to pay $5000 to 'join the club' as well as a $2500 annual fee. You can even get additional cards for $1500 per year to share with other 'company' members. However, the ease of getting one here in the US has the program closed to our nation.

One of the coolest things other than the card being made of titanium is you got automatically upgraded to Delta Gold Medallion and now Platinum Medallion. Travelling is harder now to hit those levels and keep them, that $1500-2500 per year is a nice convenience fee for just that.

I am getting ready to head to Denver for a couple weeks this Sunday

 

[halik]

The same definition as the rest of the finance world that didn't graduate from University of Phoenix. I'm referring to the slaves of Goldman, Morgan Stanley, Deustche Bank, Citi, JPMorgain, and the rest of the bulge brackets that hire kids from "targets" (read: Iveys) and pay them >100k out of undergrad to do their bitch work.

If you don't know that that's what "banker" means these days out of college, you're either ancient and way behind the times, or you were never in the (douchy) "in" crowd of investment bankers.

I kind of throw up in my mouth as I type that though. What a joke it is for a bunch of monkeys doing 100 hours a week of slave work for banks to think they're on top of the world..

That's a really long winded way to call him "retail".

 

[alkemyst]

You've got me there. I didn't realize those at the Charles Schwabs' in Tulsa, Oklahoma fancied themselves as bankers. I thought only the scum at bulge brackets were scummy enough to call themselves that =D Who knew that Joe Schmoes in the suburbs were just as douchy (and far less wealthy to boot).

We come from different worlds I guess.

The terms stock broker and trader became tainted a bit, esp post dot.com...so they took on the moniker of Investment Banker or the trendy iBanker today.

To use 'oldies' we realize that is just one aspect of banking and that tellers aren't the only thing left.

Do well on a secondary market team and you can hit six figures in bonus money a quarter.

 

[Juked07]

That's a really long winded way to call him "retail".

Turns out I'm a long winded drunk =p

 

[halik]

Turns out I'm a long winded drunk =p

*gasp* on a week night? Those power points aren't gonna edit themselves...

 

[Jeffg010]

I started by doing clerical work. By 16, I was building loan portfolios for loan sales, by the time I was 23 I was on the road putting together some of the largest loan sales in history. I have a few plaques around here from them. Owned a nice home is an equestrian community on a half acre with a pool and backing to a canal.

Life doesn't have to start in your late 30's to 40's.

Look anyone can be baller like alky Just put yourself in $100,000's in debt and you to can own a mansion, drive baller cars and live like a fatcat. Yup He had it made back when he was 23 because he was doing the biggest sale loans history but some how he was still in debt and now he is not working there any more. And nice try on plaque those are the ones they give to whole department. FAIL

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Look anyone can be baller like alky Just put yourself in $100,000's in debt and you to can own a mansion, drive baller cars and live like a fatcat. Yup He had it made back when he was 23 because he was doing the biggest sale loans history but some how he was still in debt and now he is not working there any more. And nice try on plaque those are the ones they give to whole department. FAIL

Who isn't in debt? It's America dawg. All I owe is a mortgage but I still feel like a slave to the system.

 

[busydude]

Who isn't in debt? It's America dawg. All I owe is a mortgage but I still feel like a slave to the system.

Why do you feel like a slave.. When you were never forced in the first place.

 

[jlee]

Damn.

My best one was ~$2500 for one week, but that was a vacation/sick payout.

 

[Jeffg010]

Who isn't in debt? It's America dawg. All I owe is a mortgage but I still feel like a slave to the system.

I have no debt own my own house and 2 cars. Let see my house is only worth about 70-80k the 2 cars are about 20k. I could get a couple 40k cars 400k house with a movie theater and all the other toys to go with it and be just as baller and be in debt too.