Battleship

[techs]

I dunno if there is a current thread for it but since its hitting the shelves, or has hit the shelves depending where you live, I thought I would give my review of it:

OMG it was pretty bad. I actually thought that outside of the special effects it was barely better than the mockbuster ripoff American Battleship.

Where do I begin? Rihanna with her pipe stem arms is supposed to be some tough naval officer? You cast Liam Neeson and basically don't use him? I didn't care a damn about the lead Taylor Kitsch except to hope he got killed since he didn't deserve Brooklyn Decker. In fact, Brooklyn Decker just standing there was the best scene in the movie.

The movie cost 210 million to make. You think someone would have showed up to, you know, actually make a movie? Did it even occur to the film makers that you don't light the boilers on a battleship and just steam away? It takes a long time to build up steam. Or that a museum wouldn't have live shells and propellent for the shells on board? Would it have broken the 210 million dollar budget to spend 30 seconds coming up with some reason the battleship was ready?


AARRRGGGHHHH

And just when I thought it was over they sneak in one of those scenes after the credits. And even that scene sucks!

 

[MontyAC]

The suits at the studio that approved this film should be fired.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

I enjoyed it

 

[Zim Hosein]

OMG it was pretty bad.

Everyone knows this techs!

 

[Zim Hosein]

I enjoyed it

 

[spacejamz]

Bet you hated star wars and star trek too with their transporters, light sabers, warp speed...

It is a cheesy pop-corn action flick with aliens...Are you really expecting deep plots and character development in this movie???...Special effects were good and I am going to buy it because it will look and sound awesome on my setup in my living room...I knew what to expect from this movie, set the bar pretty low and wasn't dissapointed..

 

[gorcorps]

Ah he's just a young'un... doesn't know any better yet

 

[geniusloci]

I really enjoyed it. People are too critical of popcorn movies now. It's a fun action movie, nothing more. Take joy in things instead of being so critical and snobbish and the world will be a brighter place to you.

 

[techs]

Bet you hated star wars and star trek too with their transporters, light sabers, warp speed...

It is a cheesy pop-corn action flick with aliens...Are you really expecting deep plots and character development in this movie???...Special effects were good and I am going to buy it because it will look and sound awesome on my setup in my living room...I knew what to expect from this movie, set the bar pretty low and wasn't dissapointed..

This movie made John Carter look like Hamlet.

Scratch that. This movie made the Phantom Menace look like Hamlet.

Scratch that. This movie made Jar Jar Binks look like Hamlet.

Scratch that. This movie made the Phantom Menace with Jar Jar Binks playing every character look like Hamlet.

 

[darkxshade]

Felt like Halo meets Transformers

As an action flick, it was better than I expected but then again, I expected it to be crap.

I think they got Liam to play a minor role to sell tickets. They pretty much used all his shots in the trailer so people were probably expecting him to be integral in the story... what little there was of it.

There were some scenes I just didn't get like why the aliens flagged highway pillars as hostile(red) while some humans non-hostile(green).

 

[HarryLui]

Bad movie no doubt. The only moment I really like was the old folks showing up on the battleship.

 

[techs]

Bad movie no doubt. The only moment I really like was the old folks showing up on the battleship.

I was hoping they would wipe out the stars and take over the movie!

 

[geniusloci]

This movie made John Carter look like Hamlet.

John Carter was also a good movie. I don't know what you people are expecting. It seems like many of you have lost perspective. I feel bad for you. Perhaps you're trying to make people think you're SO intelligent by crapping on popcorn action flicks. If so, your effort is misguided.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Ah he's just a young'un... doesn't know any better yet

I know movies with guns and explosions like most teens.

 

[pelov]

John Carter was also a good movie. I don't know what you people are expecting. It seems like many of you have lost perspective. I feel bad for you. Perhaps you're trying to make people think you're SO intelligent by crapping on popcorn action flicks. If so, your effort is misguided.

Many people have lost their perspective :sneaky:

 

[Red Storm]

I like that bad movies are now called "popcorn movies"...

 

[spacejamz]

I like that bad movies are now called "popcorn movies"...

from urbandictionary:

1. popcorn movie 111 up, 16 down

a summer action flick, not monumental, a good waste of time
Van Helsing was such a popcorn movie.

by Mandy May 21, 2004

 

[MovingTarget]

I will probably wait to see this movie until the Rifftrax come out.

 

[techs]

John Carter?
Battleship?

Has anyone had a worse summer than Taylor Kitsch?

 

[Zim Hosein]

John Carter?
Battleship?

Has anyone had a worse summer than Taylor Kitsch?

Word is he might be the star up an upcoming NFS movie!

 

[Kadarin]

I haven't seen Battleship yet, but I'm expecting something on the order of Battle: Los Angeles. John Carter wasn't as bad as I was expecting; I actually enjoyed watching that one.

One movie in the genre that I'd consider to be extremely bad was Skyline, where they took a good premise and outstanding special effects and blew the whole thing with terrible acting and writing.

 

[techs]

John Carter?
Battleship?

Has anyone had a worse summer than Taylor Kitsch?

Word is he might be the star up an upcoming NFS movie!

That would some kind of anti-Oscar trilogy there.

I would think Syfy would be lining him up for one of their Saturday Shark movies.

 

[techs]

I haven't seen Battleship yet, but I'm expecting something on the order of Battle: Los Angeles. John Carter wasn't as bad as I was expecting; I actually enjoyed watching that one.

One movie in the genre that I'd consider to be extremely bad was Skyline, where they took a good premise and outstanding special effects and blew the whole thing with terrible acting and writing.

You should probably sit down for this.

Skyline had better writing and acting than Battleship.

 

[Zim Hosein]

That would some kind of anti-Oscar trilogy there.

I would think Syfy would be lining him up for one of their Saturday Shark movies.

Don't insult Saturday Shark movies techs!

 

[Zim Hosein]

You should probably sit down for this.

Skyline had better writing and acting than Battleship.