Batch files!!

[Chooie]

Updated thread, everyone post your best batch files They must all WORK under DOS 6.22, so have a blast, and be creative!!

here goes... a rant to start off.
=================================

@echo off
rem [batch rant]
:start
choice Are you pissed off?
if errorlevel == 2 goto wannabe
if errorlevel == 1 goto hell
goto bye
:hell
echo My neighbors decided that they needed to hire a construction crew to come over on
echo this ever-so-crappy monday morning to break up their driveway and load it into a
echo dump truck the size of Eric Cartman... trouble is, there's a noise ordinance in my
echo town that prohibits such activities before 8AM... sounds to me like it needs a little
echo more enforcing, eh? Now if you excuse me, I'm going back to bed.
goto bye
:wannabe
choice You're not? Do you want to be?
if errorlevel == 2 goto toobad
if errorlevel == 1 goto loop
goto bye
:toobad
echo Ya know what? I don't care. I'm miserable, so you should be too...
echo.
echo.
goto loop
:loop
echo This is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend...
goto loop
:bye
cls
echo Thanks for calling!
rem . o (moron)
rem [/batch rant]

 

[Josh]

Ask the bulldozer to make holes in people's lawns as a prank. That'll cheer you up!

 

[ArMs]

Screw digging holes, take the 'dozer and push their cars over, or put them in a tree if possible.

 

[vi edit]

that's most creative rant I've seen a while

 

[Ulfwald]

If it starts up tomorrow, call the police and report it, when the contractor gets a fine, he won't do it again, or just pour sugar in their gas tanks (j/k)

 

[Wangel]

You can't put sugar in their gas tanks, because they have pad locks on their tanks!

 

[Chooie]

Why, thank you vi_edit I'll probably get a syntax error on the choice line, but I don't care.

 

[Josh]

hehehe...sugar...gas = bad things

 

[Wangel]

Just ask them nicely and make sure to bat your eyes a lot.

 

[Dedpuhl]

simple...just call the police....

 

[Chooie]

Updated thread, everyone post your best batch files They must all WORK under DOS 6.22, so have a blast, and be creative!!

 

[DAM]

chooie: its considered bad programming if you use goto commands. those things have not been used since the early 90s.









dam(enjoy)

 

[Chooie]

dude, think about it... batch files = pre windows 95 = early 90's. It's correct for the period, so deal with it

 

[Demon-Xanth]

If the bulldozer and truck are diesel, you gotta use styrofoam...


...it'll clog thier injectors AFTER they cool back down (and are away from the scene of the crime)

 

[DAM]

dude, still you want to maximinze run time, without wasting much precious memory :--P










dam(bad prgrammer, no mac for you)

 

[Chooie]

Heh, fine, smartass. You make one and show me how to do it