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Bars/clubs/nights out

A

Alphathree33

Platinum Member
Whenever I go to a bar or club with friends, even close friends, they immediately turn into self-conscious, "serious" pricks. Girls turn into catty little dirtbags.

I can take a guy who I thought was a close friend or even my girlfriend and/or other girls, only to have them go completely sour and boring once we get there.

It's like people take clubs waaaaaaaaaaay too seriously and then don't have any fun.

Now I personally would much rather just have a small party at my place than go out to a club, but I keep trying it to figure out why people actually "go clubbing" night after night.

I'm not a social retard and in virtually every other social situation, I have no problems at all.

I'm tempted to just cut clubs and bars out of my life. I have social circles. I have a girlfriend. And so on. But I just feel like I'm missing out on some big secret that everyone else at the club understands but me.

I also love social dancing -- swing, tango, ballroom -- and at venues like that, people are very friendly and nice. But the atmosphere is very different from a club.
 
I'm the same way. I don't find bars or "going clubbing" any fun at all. I think some people like to be wild and ridiculous, some people don't. A lot of my friends are into drinking and going out, and only a few of them aren't. Needless to say, those that aren't are my best buds, definately. We just hang out and play video games or go over to someone's place and have a little get-together, kind of what you are describing. I have gone out a few times with buddies of mine, and yes, I experience the exact same thing as you are.

We must be missing out on something... :laugh:
 
In my clubbing days my friends and I went almost exclusively to LIVE music clubs. Much better class of people than dance clubs.
 
Iono, I love paying 10-20 bucks cover to go in and pay for overpriced drinks and be crowded by strangers while repetitive music is blasted through the room.

Now, company sponsored events with an open bar, thats a totally different story.
 
Bars / clubs - no. Way too old for that crap.

My friend owns a pub with great beers on tap and some great eats. Much more my speed.

OP, your clubbing friends are more worried about who is looking at them than the time they are spending with you. Sad reality of clubbing mentality, but it's true IMO.
 
Originally posted by: Kelvrick
Iono, I love paying 10-20 bucks cover to go in and pay for overpriced drinks and be crowded by strangers while repetitive music is blasted through the room.

Now, company sponsored events with an open bar, thats a totally different story.
Click to expand...

See, the thing is that women like to go out to those clubs. And usually the higher the prices the better looking the women. If women did not go out to clubs there would not be any.

Imagine if women liked to go to the library after work, it would be filled with guys looking for girls.
 
ill go to a bar with my labmates to have a few drinks. We talk about non-work related ****** and plan out other extracurricular stuff we might want to do. Other times, I go with one of my close friends to have some upper tier drinks that I just cannot afford to buy the bottle of.

Clubbing was never fun for me, my ears would be ringing for 2 weeks.

 
I don't do clubs, as I don't dance. Bars, however, are much different. You are out drinking with your buddies, and others you don't know. It can be very sociable with your friends and people you haven't met. When I usually go out to the bars I just hang with my buddies and have a good time, being out makes it that much more fun.
 
Originally posted by: MetalMat
Originally posted by: Kelvrick
Iono, I love paying 10-20 bucks cover to go in and pay for overpriced drinks and be crowded by strangers while repetitive music is blasted through the room.

Now, company sponsored events with an open bar, thats a totally different story.
Click to expand...

See, the thing is that women like to go out to those clubs. And usually the higher the prices the better looking the women. If women did not go out to clubs there would not be any.

Imagine if women liked to go to the library after work, it would be filled with guys looking for girls.
Click to expand...

Thats true, but maybe I'm just a total geek/nerd/dweeb. I also prefer the bar scene over the club scene. The people there are more my type too, just there to unwind, relax a bit, not expend energy.
 
Originally posted by: Alone
Clubs? Nope. I can't dance, so no.

Bars? A bit more, yeah.
Click to expand...

Same. I enjoy going to a bar with my friends. But we're not there to impress anyone. We're all married.
 
Clubs are fun, I always either roll with the girl I'm with.. or the guys.

Since one of them has a girlfriend, and the other is a chronic flirt.. and I don't really give a ******.. we all have a good time and usually meet up with other people we know.

Meh, it's a good time.
 
Bars are great with the right people, but I could never get into clubbing. I don't like anyplace where you have to shout into someone's ear in order to be understood. I have yet to figure out what an "ultra lounge" is, too.
 
You need to find a good local bar that isn't just a meat market. A place to go and become a regular customer where the bartender gives advice and you know everyone that comes in. I love places like that.
 
i enjoy bars when they aren't busy. i just don't get the appeal of paying 3x as much for a beer, and standing up all night while people are bumping into you. the whole atmosphere seems forced to me, like thats the only place in the city to get beer. i usually get a six pack of a good beer at the store and enjoy it, sitting down, with good music, not ****** bar music.
 
Originally posted by: DainBramaged
You need to find a good local bar that isn't just a meat market. A place to go and become a regular customer where the bartender gives advice and you know everyone that comes in. I love places like that.
Click to expand...
kinda like... a place where everyone knows your name?
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
why can't people just go out, dance, drink and be merry instead of analyzing and allowing themselves to be analyzed?
Click to expand...

because they want to get LAID
 
You have to understand WHY people go to clubs. After frequenting hundreds of clubs and bars here's what i've observed:

a) Guys don't go to dance. They go to meet women or to accompany their friends who want to meet women. That's pretty much the only reason guys will go. Most clubs are too loud to just chill and have a drink. They're also a very high-stress environment. There's very little in this world that can cause as much stress and anxiety for a guy as trying to approach a group of hot women in a club. He's got to compete with music, flashing lights, other guys who might be talking to them, their cockblock girlfriends, etc. Consequently, most guys lock up at clubs. They get all "serious" as you've noticed. That's why they have alcohol there. Liquid courage, so to speak. I'd bet that the number of people hooking up at clubs would be a fraction of what it is if they removed alcohol. Ever seen an 18+ club? They market REALLY heavily towards the 21+ crowd because most guys don't want to go to a place where they cant drink to get their courage up to approach.

Very few guys who are in committed relationships (and are faithful) will enjoy clubs. Because the primary reason for going isn't there anymore. What's the point? We don't dance with out guy friends the way girls do. So we don't go. Ironically, that's when the gf oftentimes begs for us to take them out to clubs.

b) Girls either go to dance/have a girls night out OR to meet guys. Majority are some combination of the two. Note that most will not admit to going out to meet guys because women are acutely aware of social value and how much social value can she have if she's desperate to meet a man? And we all know how catty girls get when they're out with girlfriend and alcohol is introduced to the mix. The club environment makes it appropriate to gossip and talk ****** like somehow the lights and music mean that social conventions dont apply there. Don't ask me why. What we do know is that most girls ENJOY being catty and gossiping. Why do you think soap operas are so addictive to them? So they're at clubs getting their fill of gossip, they get to dance, and they get MASSIVE validation from guys hitting on them all night. How many of us would go to bars or clubs more often if girls constantly came up to us telling us how hot we were and trying to buy us dinner and drinks?
 
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