Bad parenting or just being sensible?

[Ferocious]

Midwest 30's couple, about $90k combined income, with only debt being a fiscally responsible sized mortgage and one modest car payment. They have two sons, a 7 and a 5 year old.

1) Both kids have nice used bikes bought new last summer. The 7 year old won a brand new bike recently! Parents puts bike in storage to be given to 5 year old two years from as a new bike since the 7 year old's bike is still in really good shape.

2) A county fair went on last week. One of the days was a free admission day, though admission (3 and under free) was only $5 on the other days. But Dad had to work on the free admission day. Nevertheless she took the kids on the free admission day without Dad and got there when the fair opened at 9am. They quickly 'saw' everything by 11am and left before the rides opened..so she didn't have to cough up the $1 ticket per ride. She mentioned that the kids are too young to remember anything later anyways.

 

[Gooberlx2]

So...being mindful of wasteful spending is bad parenting how?

 

[ric1287]

Were you the kid or the parent in this story?

 

[Gibson486]

I remember stuff when I was 5....if they are cheap, they are cheap. Nothing you can do.

 

[waggy]

i see nothing wrong. being cheap is not a bad thing. well not always.

 

[Chiller2]

If the kid won the bike it's his and you should give it to him. Whats next saving his Christmas and birthday presents for the 5 yr old cause he has enough? if you want a bike for the 5 yr old put the old bike in storage for him.And why bother going to the fair if not to ride the rides better off not to go at all.

 

[Kadarin]

1 is fine if the 7yr old kid agrees to it. But why not let him have his new bike, and put the old one in storage for the 5 year old to ride later on? He might get resentful about the whole thing if it's handled wrong.

2 sounds like the mom is just plain cheap.

 

[torpid]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
So...being mindful of wasteful spending is bad parenting how?

How is #1 being mindful of wasteful spending? If they want to keep a good bike for the 5 year old, they should let the 7 year old who won the bike ride the new bike and put the 7 year old's into storage. There is no net difference in the longevity of the bicycles since it's 2 years of additional riding on either the new one or old one.

#2 is excessively cheap. $1 per ride is super cheap.

 

[se7en]

1.) Good idea as long as the bike is in good shape why would he need a new one.

2.) Fvck that! My son is only 2.5 but I'll be dammed if I'm going to let him miss out on anything period. I take him all kinds of places wether he remembers it or not is completely irrelevant. Spending time with them doing fun things they WILL remember even if it isnt that exact memory of the fair. If she was cheap sure limit the rides but I would tell her "wrf" for real. Of course I'm also seperated and constantly catching hell for being the "good" parent.

 

[imported_Imp]

So... parents aren't showering kids with everything money can buy; thus, their parenting is being called into question. Ok there.

Edit: Will admit that cheaping out on a $1 ride is cheap and overdoing it. Who knows if they'll remember it or not. The bike is sensible, is a hand-me-down that bad...

 

[andy04]

Their income is not that substantial... besides they may be paying for health care, big gas bill for commute or huge mortgage payment for country style living...
Also for all we know they might be saving for their collage

 

[dainthomas]

Originally posted by: Chiller2
If the kid won the bike it's his and you should give it to him. Whats next saving his Christmas and birthday presents for the 5 yr old cause he has enough? if you want a bike for the 5 yr old put the old bike in storage for him.And why bother going to the fair if not to ride the rides better off not to go at all.

I'd say 1 was just crappy. You're not saving money by giving the bike to the other kid, that would tick me off. They could just put the older kid's used bike in storage for the 5 year old.

I could see if they were absolutely dead broke then 2 would make sense. But the kids couldn't go on 1 or 2 rides each? Did they just go to look at the chickens and pigs or whatever?

edit for clarity

 

[nakedfrog]

1 is messed up, "Mom, dad, I won this awesome new bike!" "Well, your bike is still in good shape, so we'll put this one away until your brother can use it"
2 is really cheap, but more understandable.

 

[Drako]

If only we had some politicians who were so fiscally responsible .

 

[SpunkyJones]

It is not bad parenting. They are just not spending money freely, nothing wrong with that. The Bike I understand, I would have sprung for a couple of rides for my kids, but I still don't think there is anything wrong with not doing it.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: se7en
1.) Good idea as long as the bike is in good shape why would he need a new one.

2.) Fvck that! My son is only 2.5 but I'll be dammed if I'm going to let him miss out on anything period. I take him all kinds of places wether he remembers it or not is completely irrelevant. Spending time with them doing fun things they WILL remember even if it isnt that exact memory of the fair. If she was cheap sure limit the rides but I would tell her "wrf" for real. Of course I'm also seperated and constantly catching hell for being the "good" parent.

being a good parent does nto mean you spend lots of money on them or taking them places.

i am willing to bet most of the good memories that people have of spending time with parents are not one spent at fairs, rides etc.

 

[summit]

Originally posted by: andy04
Their income is not that substantial... besides they may be paying for health care, big gas bill for commute or huge mortgage payment for country style living...
Also for all we know they might be saving for their collage

why are they going to buy a collage? waste money on art???

1st situation is completely cool, but 2nd situation why not take the kids on a few rides, you spent all that gas and all going there, a couple bucks for marry-go-round, pony ride, and log flume is well worth it.

 

[dainthomas]

Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

 

[moshquerade]

sensible.

people dote on their kids so much in today's society that something like what the OP posted will send some into thinking it's child abuse.

 

[SpunkyJones]

Originally posted by: dainthomas
Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

They won't have to buy the 5 year old a new bike in 2 years, hence money saved.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones

Originally posted by: dainthomas
Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

They won't have to buy the 5 year old a new bike in 2 years, hence money saved.

plus, the kid may be ok with doing it this way. he might like his current bike just fine.
shocking idea, i know.

 

[Tsaico]

I think they are fine, but I would have let the kid ride the new bike. I don't think much of a lesson is learned by shelving a brand new bike for the kid who did not win it. I would let the kid who won the bike, enjoy it (Assuming it wasn't a random drawing type of win, if it was, then moot issue to me). They would then shelve the now in good shape bike and give the younger kid a new to him used bike when he grew larger.

The other issues, I don't have a problem, but if they should come up with a different excuse than the age of the kids, because if that is the case, they could save the gas money and not go at all, since they "won't remember it anyways". But I remember some different things as a 5 and 7 year old, so I think they should just explain to the kids why they don't need to go on these sort of things, even for a $1.

Edit: And with plan 1, they are not saving money, instead of storing the new bike won as a prize, they will be storing the currently being used bike.

 

[BeauJangles]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones

Originally posted by: dainthomas
Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

They won't have to buy the 5 year old a new bike in 2 years, hence money saved.

The older kid won a new bike, it should be his. Take his old bike and put in storage for two years and give it to his younger brother. Don't rob the kid of what he won.

#2 is a little messed up too. If you go by that logic, your kid might as well live in a little crawlspace under the stairs with no toys and no paint on the walls.

Neither is bad parenting, I just think both were stupid decisions. If you don't want to spend a lot of money on rides, then tell the kids they can only ride two rides or something.

 

[ric1287]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones

Originally posted by: dainthomas
Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

They won't have to buy the 5 year old a new bike in 2 years, hence money saved.

plus, the kid may be ok with doing it this way. he might like his current bike just fine.
shocking idea, i know.

yes, most 7 year olds are fiscally responsible and couldn't care less about shiny new bikes.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: ric1287

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones

Originally posted by: dainthomas
Why does everyone think 1 is responsible? They are NOT saving any money! They are simply taking one kid's cool prize and giving it to the other kid! Why can't the younger brother get the old bike in a couple years?

They won't have to buy the 5 year old a new bike in 2 years, hence money saved.

plus, the kid may be ok with doing it this way. he might like his current bike just fine.
shocking idea, i know.

yes, most 7 year olds are fiscally responsible and couldn't care less about shiny new bikes.

you give the kid for too little credit. what's to say he doesn't LIKE THE BIKE HE HAS?!?!

just because it's used it's not shiny and cool?

cripes. :roll: