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Bad idea not to attend a wedding when invited?

V

vital

Platinum Member
An ex-coworker, who now lives in a different city has invited everyone in my team at work to her wedding this summer. We'd all have to pay for our own transportation and hotel. So how bad is it not to attend the wedding when invited? It's not like they're really close friends but the whole team knows both the bride and groom when they both were working for the company. Paying for the flight, hotel, and gift is gonna be a lot of $$$.
 
Send a nice card (and maybe a token gift if you're feeling generous.) Make sure to RSVP!!!!

Invitations with RSVP are for the express purpose of people declining so they get an accurate headcount. No harm in turning it down; it saves them money in the long run.
 
I didn't attend my father's 3rd wedding because I knew she was a phony money chasing bitch. It took him 9 years to figure it out (or he was in denial). He now understands that I knew who and what she was from the beginning. Over that time she pretty much alienated the entire family.
 
RSVP you won't be attending, but no explanation is necessary. Then send a card for sure, a gift if you'd like.
 
If you're not close and have to pay yourself, I don't see the big deal.

Now, if you're good friends with the bride and grooms friends, and tell these friends that you aren't going cause you think weddings suck, then you have me. I think that the couple think that I snubbed them, which isn't entirely true. Weddings are just too 'fake' for me.
 
Originally posted by: tasmanian
Just respond saying times are tough and we cant afford the trip.
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Just RSVP your regrets. Such an "explanation" is tacky.


Originally posted by: kranky
RSVP you won't be attending, but no explanation is necessary. Then send a card for sure, a gift if you'd like.
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:thumbsup:

 
Oh, since it's an office thing, if you wanted to be nice and send a gift you could invite other co-workers who aren't going to pitch in on it with you (just make sure they don't feel obligated).
 
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Send a nice card (and maybe a token gift if you're feeling generous.) Make sure to RSVP!!!!

Invitations with RSVP are for the express purpose of people declining so they get an accurate headcount. No harm in turning it down; it saves them money in the long run.
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This (and other replies) are correct. Make sure you RSVP. Send a card with 20 or 40 bucks and wish them well.

Step 3. profit
 
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Oh, since it's an office thing, if you wanted to be nice and send a gift you could invite other co-workers who aren't going to pitch in on it with you (just make sure they don't feel obligated).
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Excellent Idea. :thumbsup:

 
Make sure you RSVP... in case no one else has mentioned it yet. 😉

The bride/groom actually plan on a certain number of guests declining, unless it is a really small reception.
 
Originally posted by: vital
An ex-coworker, who now lives in a different city has invited everyone in my team at work to her wedding this summer. We'd all have to pay for our own transportation and hotel. So how bad is it not to attend the wedding when invited? It's not like they're really close friends but the whole team knows both the bride and groom when they both were working for the company. Paying for the flight, hotel, and gift is gonna be a lot of $$$.
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Chances are good this invite is a courtesy type thing only... she wants to keep up her professional network contacts. She figures people will just RSVP their regrets but.. that down the line you'll remember having been invited..which might come in handy if she's looking for a job or needs a professional fAVOR.

Just send your regrets, perhaps also sending a small gift.
 
Originally posted by: Perknose
Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Oh, since it's an office thing, if you wanted to be nice and send a gift you could invite other co-workers who aren't going to pitch in on it with you (just make sure they don't feel obligated).
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Excellent Idea. :thumbsup:
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I agree. A couple people tossing in a couple bucks a piece could get something fairly nice/useful off their registry.

Of course if they're young and getting married (aka don't have their full home set up) the best thing they could get is something like Target gift cards. We got something like $500 in them after our wedding and they were amazingly helpful. Nobody will give you a trash can as a wedding gift but you'll need 3 or 4 of them. They really help fill out the gaps in what you need.
 
Unless you really want to go, don't.

Two thoughts:

1. I know a guy who I was kind of friends with although we'd never done stuff together. We both volunteered at an organization and I used to see him at the gym and we'd talk there. He was very interesting to talk to. He told me one day he was getting married. He explained it was just to grant a Canadian woman US citizenship. That was his reason for doing it. He invited me to the wedding and I didn't go.

2. In college I overheard this guy in a public setting talking to someone else and he was explaining himself, some of his philosophy of life. I overheard hims say "no weddings, no funerals." I got the impulse to exclaim out loud, "no weddings, no funerals!" He reaffirmed it freely. I said it because I could understand where he was coming from.

It's been a long time and I've been around quite a while, but I've been to one funeral only (my father's), and attended how many weddings?

W
W
W
W

Four? That's all I can remember. Not a lot.
 
It's no biggie not to attend, as others said make sure you RSVP to let them know.

Sometimes people send out wedding invites not that they actually expect you to show up, but as a sign that they appreciate you and thought that you may be interested in going but again they don't actually expect you to show up, if that makes sense.
 
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
I didn't attend my father's 3rd wedding because I knew she was a phony money chasing bitch. It took him 9 years to figure it out (or he was in denial). He now understands that I knew who and what she was from the beginning. Over that time she pretty much alienated the entire family.
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Thanks for that completely irrelevant story. :thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Thanks for that completely irrelevant story. :thumbsup:
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Tangents are the spice of life. Don't be a topic nazi! 😉

 
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