Baby showers for second babies

[Parrotheader]

Being a guy, I guess I'm not as up to speed on these things. And I realize every baby is special to their parents. But is it normal to have baby showers for every baby a person has after their first? I can think of a couple instances where it would seem perfectly logical:

-2nd baby is a different sex than the first baby.

-2nd baby is the first with a new spouse.

Maybe there's a couple other instances, but other than that it seems to me it could sometimes be considered a bit tacky or greedy to be having baby showers for the younger siblings depending on the circumstances.

Like a lot of you, I work in an office with a lot of late 20-somethings and early 30-somethings. My department in particular has 100% married employees who are popping out babies left and right with their spouses (my wife and I had our first a few months ago as well.) We all make a good, comfortable living. Is it really necessary to constantly be throwing showers for every new baby (especially when almost all of them have been the same sex as the first child?) I know if my wife and I have another girl I'm going to tell them NOT to throw us a shower or get us anything. Even if we have a boy I don't think we'll need anyone to get us anything.

 

[richardycc]

I dont even know the original reason of having a baby shower, but judging from reading your post, its only for the first born? I guess in the good old days, its a miracle to be able to have a baby? I guess that tradition somehow is lost, and now it is just another excuse to get gifts and have a get together?

 

[imported_brad]

baby showers can be for each baby.

 

[nwfsnake]

Its a girl thing!

One for each baby is normal.

 

[dabuddha]

I plan on taking full advantage of baby showers when I have kids.

 

[Kenazo]

Originally posted by: richardycc
I dont even know the original reason of having a baby shower, but judging from reading your post, its only for the first born? I guess in the good old days, its a miracle to be able to have a baby? I guess that tradition somehow is lost, and now it is just another excuse to get gifts and have a get together?

Who knows the initial reason for showers, but I'm presuming it's to help those that aren't very financially secure get their feet under them as they start something new.

 

[Phoenix86]

I think it's OK to have one for each, in fact I don't see why you wouldn't...

The point of the shower is to make sure the parents have what they need for the baby (from diapers to cribs). Each baby will need *something* even if some items are already covered (don't really need two different cribs, but can't exactly re-use diapers).

 

[Kelemvor]

Can be for any but I would think that after the first you wouldn't need to do as much Gift Exchanging since they'd probably already have the main stuff like stroller, bottles, etc. But not sure on the proper etiquette.

 

[rh71]

^ what phoenix said. It should be fine... and expected.

In the chinese tradition (not sure if it's only chinese)... there's a celebration dinner after 30 days born... we give money.

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

First you must understand the female psyche.

Does it involve babies? Yes.
Does it involve shopping? Yes.
Does it involve chatting with friends? Yes.

Winnar! This can be used as many times as a womb will allow.

My wife and I have 3 kids... on the first shower when asked what we wanted... the answer was clothes, toys, y'know... stuff for the nursery. After that learning experience on the next two the answer was a resounding "DIAPERS!" Damn those things are expensive.

 

[nwfsnake]

Don't forget:

Does it involve eating?

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: rh71
^ what phoenix said. It should be fine... and expected.

In the chinese tradition (not sure if it's only chinese)... there's a celebration dinner after 30 days born... we give money.

vietnamese people do it too (i should know, got two of my own).

anyhow, its normal to have one for each baby. i dont think its a matter of the parents "needing" the aid, but rather it's a way that people around you can congratulate you on having a/another baby.

 

[Parrotheader]

Originally posted by: Jfrag
My wife and I have 3 kids... on the first shower when asked what we wanted... the answer was clothes, toys, y'know... stuff for the nursery. After that learning experience on the next two the answer was a resounding "DIAPERS!" Damn those things are expensive.

Apparently I wasn't the only one in the office who was growing weary of having showers constantly for the new babies (most of which are now 2nd or 3rd babies) within our department. A couple of other guys (both fathers) mentioned the same thing before I even had a chance to say anything. We're going to try to make it sort of unofficial policy that on second, third, etc. babies that we're just going to take the couple out to a nice lunch and give them a bunch of diapers and/or maybe a gift certificate somewhere.

 

[Hammer]

Originally posted by: Parrotheader

Originally posted by: Jfrag
My wife and I have 3 kids... on the first shower when asked what we wanted... the answer was clothes, toys, y'know... stuff for the nursery. After that learning experience on the next two the answer was a resounding "DIAPERS!" Damn those things are expensive.

Apparently I wasn't the only one in the office who was growing weary of having showers constantly for the new babies (most of which are now 2nd or 3rd babies) within our department. A couple of other guys (both fathers) mentioned the same thing before I even had a chance to say anything. We're going to try to make it sort of unofficial policy that on second, third, etc. babies that we're just going to take the couple out to a nice lunch and give them a bunch of diapers and/or maybe a gift certificate somewhere.

good policy :thumbsup:

 

[acemcmac]

they seem really greedy to me

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Hammer

Originally posted by: Parrotheader

Originally posted by: Jfrag
My wife and I have 3 kids... on the first shower when asked what we wanted... the answer was clothes, toys, y'know... stuff for the nursery. After that learning experience on the next two the answer was a resounding "DIAPERS!" Damn those things are expensive.

Apparently I wasn't the only one in the office who was growing weary of having showers constantly for the new babies (most of which are now 2nd or 3rd babies) within our department. A couple of other guys (both fathers) mentioned the same thing before I even had a chance to say anything. We're going to try to make it sort of unofficial policy that on second, third, etc. babies that we're just going to take the couple out to a nice lunch and give them a bunch of diapers and/or maybe a gift certificate somewhere.

good policy :thumbsup:

one of the things i love about my organization is that there aren't any birthday cakes, baby showers, or retirement parties. those things get annoying!

 

[Kelemvor]

Taken from Stork Net

http://www.storknet.com/cubbie...howers/etiquette.htm#4

Q. Is it improper to have a baby shower for your second baby, especially if the sex is different?

A. It is never improper to have a baby shower. A shower is so much more than gifts. It is an opportunity to gather family and friends together to celebrate the beginning of a new life. The birth of a baby is a joyous occasion, and it is always acceptable to celebrate it. If other family members or friends are concerned about it being improper to have a baby shower for a second (or more) child, there are ways to take the focus off the gifts. If the second child is a different sex than the first, it would be fun to host a "It's a Girl" or "It's a Boy" party, where guests bring gender specific gifts. Or, if the mom-to-be truly does not need anything for the new baby, forego gifts altogether and just gather to celebrate. Another option is to host a casserole shower or a pampering mom shower.

 

[Bryophyte]

So only firstborn should be celebrated? Huh. Didn't know that. :roll:

The new policy ("We're going to try to make it sort of unofficial policy that on second, third, etc. babies that we're just going to take the couple out to a nice lunch and give them a bunch of diapers and/or maybe a gift certificate somewhere.") would actually be an acceptible solution for ALL baby showers, not just second, third, etc. Workplaces don't have to give full, traditional baby showers for employees. The lunch and diapers/gift certificate would be a nice, generous thing to do for any employee whose family is growing.

 

[Parrotheader]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
So only firstborn should be celebrated? Huh. Didn't know that.

The new policy ("We're going to try to make it sort of unofficial policy that on second, third, etc. babies that we're just going to take the couple out to a nice lunch and give them a bunch of diapers and/or maybe a gift certificate somewhere.") would actually be an acceptible solution for ALL baby showers, not just second, third, etc. Workplaces don't have to give full, traditional baby showers for employees. The lunch and diapers/gift certificate would be a nice, generous thing to do for any employee whose family is growing.

Well the broader company's official policy IS no baby showers, etc. Back when the agency was only 30 people they could get away with having them. But now we have over 100 employees and most of the new additions are young people more likely to have children so they did make it official policy a couple years ago to stop hosting showers.

However, people still do it, usually just more on a departmental level. My department just happens to have all young married people who are constantly having babies. It'd be cheaper if I worked in one of the departments staffed by 20 and 30 something single women who'd only get pregnant by accident. :laugh:

 

[jjones]

I always leave these kind of inconsequential determinations up to the female of the species.

 

[Bryophyte]

Why not just have a policy of passing around the dreaded greeting card for everyone to sign?