ATOTers with significant others

[RKS]

Text

 

[Journer]

a threesome would solve this problem quickly

 

[EGGO]

*psst* Journer, read two posts above yours.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: LolaWiz

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Just how significant is the SO?

this is what i want to know too.
Is he a very serious BF? If so, i would be very angry at the friend to the point of ending it with her or giving her an untimadum. Perhaps that will give her a good swift kick in the butt in realizing that you cannot treat people like that and that what she says about your BF hurts you.
If she was really a good friend, why would she say stuff like that UNLESS.... hrm... it just came to me... she is jeleous... have you ever thought of that?

Or she's banging her BF. Just a thought.

 

[DVad3r]

Yes you dirty dirty bastard, you have accomplished a threesome!!! /jealous

 

[mooglemania85]

Kevin Smith has a new movie? Chasing EGGO?

 

[PokerGuy]

<stands up>
Clap clap clap clap clap

Standing ovation for Aikouka, excellent!

They seem to think they've discovered some new "non traditional" way to have a solid relationship by being "open". Basically, it's BS to mask for the fact that they are incapable of having a real relationship, or that one or the other is unwilling to commit to the relationship.

EGGO, I must commend you on achieving a threesome, though without pics I must qualify that commendation

 

[KarenMarie]

It is possible that one of them flirted with the other and it was taken the wrong way? Or one of them hit on the other and it was not taken well? Perhaps one of those things have happened and they both want to spare you from knowing. Or maybe she just has a thing for him and finds it difficult to be near him out of jealousy and made up the whole 'i hate him' thing.

As far as the question... I have a very, very dear friend and I cannot stand her husband. He is an asshole. I have never told her how I feel and treat him respectfully whenever I have to deal with him. I would never hurt her by telling her what your friend told you, I would never embarrass myself by being rude to him (which would show a lack of class) and I would never put her in a position to have to choose.

 

[uli2000]

In my experience, no. I wont go into the details, but one of my best friends got married, and for some reason, his wife hates me. At first, me and my wife really tried to be friendly with them. But I just cant stand to be around either of them anymore. The funniest thing is I am also good friends with the brother, and the brothers wife hates this woman even more than I do, except she cant stop associating with them cause of all the family stuff.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

*sigh*

Having a drunken three-way may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but trouble inevitably arises in these things.

 

[namelessentity]

"Open relationships" never last. Your friend probably thinks you're both idiots for having a relationship like that. I'd imagine it wasn't your idea to be in that kind of relationship, but somehow you got talked into it, or you even suggested it because you didn't want to lose him. Your boyfriend said you have 0% interest in taking advantage of the open relationship, but he obviously would take advantage of it. I'm not your friend, but just knowing this is a big red flag, and I'm sure she knows that eventually things are going to blow up in your face and she doesn't want to see you hurt.

Seriously, this situation comes up EVERY week on Love Line. Maybe you should call it and have a doctor tell you the same thing I did.

 

[LongCoolMother]

Originally posted by: Aikouka

Originally posted by: Rachael
Many relationships between people of our age fail because, in spite of things going well between the partners otherwise, there is still this desire to experiment.

(Note, "You" will be referring to "people of our age"!) Yes, in other words, you're too immature to handle a relationship. Instead of thinking with logic, you think with emotions. If you can't get the thoughts out of your head like "well... I am dating so-and-so... but I bet this other girl/guy would be great in bed!"... do so-and-so a favor and break it off. You're not mature enough to handle being in a relatively devoted state to someone (relatively devoted used since the term devoted is best suited for marriage but still trying to push the fact that in a relationship, there is a sense of devotion toward one another).

Originally posted by: Rachael
A great percentage of people in so called "committed" relationships cheat.

Then they're not really committed. It ain't rocket science.

Originally posted by: Rachael
What's better- to have a relationship in which people are sneaking about and lying about their feelings and actions, or one in which people are open to each other and communicate and are able to think over and discuss their desires?

How about you try this on for size: NONE.

Originally posted by: Rachael
My boyfriend and I are emotionally committed to each other, we trust and rely on each other, and monogamy is not what separates friends with benefits from a relationship. There are many more factors involved.

You're emotionally committed to each other yet you can't keep it in the pants (note, yet again, not calling you out as a person sleeping around. I'm basing this on the concepts). What kind of commitment is that? From what it sounds like to me, you both are so stuck with this idea that you "need" someone in your life that you create a fake sense of being together when in fact... you're miles apart... literally. Your entire relationship is illogical.

:thumbsup: I agree with a lot of this post.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: EGGO
So Aikouka, I respect your opinions but let's not have a bad taste in our mouths over this. We're dealing with that already with who I consider vermin for deceiving her and breaking her trust.

Oh I'm not trying to offend you or anything and I really appreciate you taking my harsh opinions well. It's definitely not the typical ATOT response .

I'm a bit more reserved for me when it comes to relationships. I mean, if you don't think you can keep it in the pants while she's gone... then what does she mean to ya? Sure, the urge can be there... but that's what separates us from beasts that act on instinct... the ability to reason.

I don't think my opinions are really that commonplace in this world anymore though.. well maybe in some socially reserved country like India (go Gere!).

I actually was arguing with a friend about this, because he was 10x worse than anything I could ever say about you. He's a smart guy, yet he would tell me before a break (say Spring Break) that he was planning to go back to California and hook up with an ex. The thing is... he had a girlfriend at college and this wasn't even an open relationship sort of thing. He tried to justify his cheating to me with a line like, "when two people who used to go out get around each other, they just can't help it." I nearly lost it... the guy was planning this... it was premeditated, it's not like he slipped, his crotch landed on her face and he just happened to be reciting a line from a porno that said, "well, while you're down there."

So yeah, I've seen much worse .

 

[EGGO]

Originally posted by: Aikouka
Oh I'm not trying to offend you or anything and I really appreciate you taking my harsh opinions well. It's definitely not the typical ATOT response .

I'm a bit more reserved for me when it comes to relationships. I mean, if you don't think you can keep it in the pants while she's gone... then what does she mean to ya? Sure, the urge can be there... but that's what separates us from beasts that act on instinct... the ability to reason.

I don't think my opinions are really that commonplace in this world anymore though.. well maybe in some socially reserved country like India (go Gere!).

I actually was arguing with a friend about this, because he was 10x worse than anything I could ever say about you. He's a smart guy, yet he would tell me before a break (say Spring Break) that he was planning to go back to California and hook up with an ex. The thing is... he had a girlfriend at college and this wasn't even an open relationship sort of thing. He tried to justify his cheating to me with a line like, "when two people who used to go out get around each other, they just can't help it." I nearly lost it... the guy was planning this... it was premeditated, it's not like he slipped, his crotch landed on her face and he just happened to be reciting a line from a porno that said, "well, while you're down there."

So yeah, I've seen much worse .

Glad to hear we're not pointing swords at each other.

I could never do anything with the ex. That's just my own personal thing, she ripped my heart out. Plus I know that's something Rachael doesn't want.

I admit, it's a position I like being in, but I won't hesitate to stop if she asks me to, if that helps my position in some people's eyes even a little bit.

I want people to focus back on the friendship issue, though, not our relationship. We're a strong couple, we're not worried about us.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: EGGO
Glad to hear we're not pointing swords at each other.

A sword fight does kind of sound like fun :Q. I just won't admit that I have a ton of Japanese "cutlery" beforehand .

 

[Roguestar]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
*sigh*

Having a drunken three-way may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but trouble inevitably arises in these things.

QFMFT

MFT

Seriously that was probably a bad idea. I don't see why no-one else has said it since the first page but the other girl is totally in love with Rachel. EGGO: She probably had the threesome because it was the easiest way to get what she wanted physically from Rachel, hence the ignoring you and so on. The girl is disapproving of your relationship because a) she's jealous of your girlfriend and wants her for herself and b) wishes she could have a trusting relationship like yours. I think Rachel and EGGO need to tone down how much time they spend around the other girl, and never ever under any circumstances have another threesome with her. They both need to sit down and tell her how they feel about each other and that they'd like her to respect that.

Cliffs: baseball bat->crotch

 

[Kirby]

Threesome, eh?

*standing ovation for EGGO*



And the other girl is a lesbian.......nice.

 

[AStar617]

Ask your BF if she propositioned him and he declined. It might explain a lot.

 

[moshquerade]

no.

 

[WildHorse]

No.

 

[Aikouka]

Originally posted by: AStar617
Ask your BF if she propositioned him and he declined. It might explain a lot.

I think you missed the parts of the thread. The "boyfriend" in question is an ATOT'r and has been talking and mentioned that there was some menagé trois going on .

 

[Darwin333]

I am married so my perspective may be a bit off.

My wife and I are a package deal. I wouldn?t have anything to do with a person can?t at the very least be cordial to my wife.