ATOT'ers: First kid + small condo - How long did you last?

[z1ggy]

First baby due next July. We live in a 2bed ~700sqft condo with no basement, attic, etc (do have a tiny garage though, which is already stuffed). The 2nd bedroom is currently my office, so I'll be forced to get rid of or move much of that stuff. We have no idea how long this space will work for us but we also can't afford to move unless one or both of us gets much higher paying jobs.

So, good people of ATOT, how did you make your tiny living spaces work when you had your first kid? How long did you last in that space until you had to move into something bigger? What tips and tricks did you employ to make the small space you had be functional and work for the longer term?

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

First baby due next July. We live in a 2bed ~700sqft condo with no basement, attic, etc (do have a tiny garage though, which is already stuffed). The 2nd bedroom is currently my office, so I'll be forced to get rid of or move much of that stuff. We have no idea how long this space will work for us but we also can't afford to move unless one or both of us gets much higher paying jobs.

So, good people of ATOT, how did you make your tiny living spaces work when you had your first kid? How long did you last in that space until you had to move into something bigger? What tips and tricks did you employ to make the small space you had be functional and work for the longer term?

Hmmmm for us it mostly just boiled down to other things that made us move - such as the school district and how ghetto the surrounding area is.

Are you in a high cost of living area?

Anyhow, our first one is around 2.5 years old, and our 2nd one is on the way. We went with a much much much bigger home (from ~1700 sqft to ~4000) in a much nicer neighborhood.

I wanted to move for the longest time since I didn't really like the neighborhood - but what really made my wife pull the trigger to move finally was she got REALLY pissed off (because our old neighborhood was a bit ghetto) some moron started burning some plants/trees behind our home at around 7-8PM at night - and the smoke was just flooding in to our upstairs bedroom where the baby was sleeping.

 

[brainhulk]

All you will be doing is feeding, sleeping, and changing diapers at 1 hr intervals for the 1st 2.5 years so...

You got some time.

Plus the more space you have the more useless gifts/toys you accumulate from people.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

All you will be doing is feeding, sleeping, and changing diapers at 1 hr intervals for the 1st 2.5 years so...

You got some time.

Plus the more space you have the more useless gifts/toys you accumulate from people.

Haha, I wouldn't say first 2.5 years, but... probably for about the first year at least.

But yeah, for like... the first 3 months until the baby can actually roll around I would just let them sleep in a bassinet near your bed so that you can easy feed/change the kid when you're trying to sleep at 3AM.

 

[brainhulk]

Haha, I wouldn't say first 2.5 years, but... probably for about the first year at least.

But yeah, for like... the first 3 months until the baby can actually roll around I would just let them sleep in a bassinet near your bed so that you can easy feed/change the kid when you're trying to sleep at 3AM.

C'mon dude, trying to scare the new dad here and you're killing it already

Jk

 

[z1ggy]

Hmmmm for us it mostly just boiled down to other things that made us move - such as the school district and how ghetto the surrounding area is.

Are you in a high cost of living area?

Anyhow, our first one is around 2.5 years old, and our 2nd one is on the way. We went with a much much much bigger home (from ~1700 sqft to ~4000) in a much nicer neighborhood.

I wanted to move for the longest time since I didn't really like the neighborhood - but what really made my wife pull the trigger to move finally was she got REALLY pissed off (because our old neighborhood was a bit ghetto) some moron started burning some plants/trees behind our home at around 7-8PM at night - and the smoke was just flooding in to our upstairs bedroom where the baby was sleeping.

We live in a high cost of living state - NJ. But the area I live in is particularly expensive - average homes go for about $650k and it's completely common to see homes going for $1M. Our combined income is like... $200k but we still both have student loans (hers are significant), and we also aggressively save. 31M 29F.

If you don't mind, about how much per month do you think you spend on your child? We could possibly move to a slightly larger single family home for maybe... $600-700 more a month. That alone pushes our budget but we could make it work. However, if the baby will cost say... an extra $500 a month in food, diapers, etc, then that will never work. Plus, neither of us currently have car payments, but as soon as either one of our cars needs replacing... there's another few hundred bucks a month we need.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

C'mon dude, trying to scare the new dad here and you're killing it already

Jk

Oh I can do that too.

OP I hope you're not an introvert because the concept of "Alone time" will be gone.

And yeah, if you're still someone that sleeps in till 10 or later prepare for fun.

Also learn to use close-pins on your nose.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

We live in a high cost of living state - NJ. But the area I live in is particularly expensive - average homes go for about $650k and it's completely common to see homes going for $1M. Our combined income is like... $200k but we still both have student loans (hers are significant), and we also aggressively save. 31M 29F.

If you don't mind, about how much per month do you think you spend on your child? We could possibly move to a slightly larger single family home for maybe... $600-700 more a month. That alone pushes our budget but we could make it work. However, if the baby will cost say... an extra $500 a month in food, diapers, etc, then that will never work. Plus, neither of us currently have car payments, but as soon as either one of our cars needs replacing... there's another few hundred bucks a month we need.

You can honestly EASILY keep it under $100/month. Anyone who says diapers are expensive are nuts IMHO - you can get a 1-2 month supply box for ~$35. Main costs will be clothes (as they continue to grow out of old ones).

Is your wife planning to breast feed? That's actually a much bigger factor in costs - formula is STUPID expensive - especially for us because our daughter was 3 months premature and needed a special premature formula. Once your kid starts graduating from the bottle, you can start to easily feed them things like yogurt and scraps off your plate. Nothing special.

The major factor (IMHO - I hate to say this) is going to be based on how spendy your wife is. Does she need an ultra mega crib? Does she need 5 pairs of unique sheets? Does she need brand new clothes or will used work for you just fine? Etc... On that note, consider buying the clothes used - these are clothes that the kid wears for literally a matter of months.

 

[z1ggy]

You can honestly EASILY keep it under $100/month. Anyone who says diapers are expensive are nuts IMHO - you can get a 1-2 month supply box for ~$35. Main costs will be clothes (as they continue to grow out of old ones).

Is your wife planning to breast feed? That's actually a much bigger factor in costs - formula is STUPID expensive - especially for us because our daughter was 3 months premature and needed a special premature formula. Once your kid starts graduating from the bottle, you can start to easily feed them things like yogurt and scraps off your plate. Nothing special.

The major factor (IMHO - I hate to say this) is going to be based on how spendy your wife is. Does she need an ultra mega crib? Does she need 5 pairs of unique sheets? Does she need brand new clothes or will used work for you just fine? Etc... On that note, consider buying the clothes used - these are clothes that the kid wears for literally a matter of months.

OH okay, phew, that sounds very reasonable then. We buy a lot of stuff from Brandless, so I assume maybe we can do something similar for the diaper situation.

As far as food, yes, plans to breastfeed as much as possible.

We aren't very "elegant" people in the sense that we don't need or care about designer stuff or having the "best" of whatever. I'm sure our families will gift us some clothing to start out with but for the rest, I would be totally cool with used or just generic crap from TJ Max, Walmart, etc.

 

[JTsyo]

The major factor (IMHO - I hate to say this) is going to be based on how spendy your wife is.

All that is going to be dwarfed by childcare. If both of you work and you don't have family to lean on, childcare can be more expensive than your rent.
Ziggy, where in NJ are you? I'm out by where 80 and 287 meet and while houses can be expensive you can move a town over and find lower costs. If you're willing to move in 5 years you don't have to worry about school districts yet. Most schools in NJ are pretty good. You can also look into townhouses that seem to be popular here. That way you get some extra space but don't have the added expenses of property care.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

All that is going to be dwarfed by childcare. If both of you work and you don't have family to lean on, childcare can be more expensive than your rent.
Ziggy, where in NJ are you? I'm out by where 80 and 287 meet and while houses can be expensive you can move a town over and find lower costs. If you're willing to move in 5 years you don't have to worry about school districts yet. Most schools in NJ are pretty good. You can also look into townhouses that seem to be popular here. That way you get some extra space but don't have the added expenses of property care.

Oh yeah, there is that... Childcare.

My mother in law watches our kid during the day. Otherwise it would be roughly $250/week (tends to get less per week the older they get) for daycare.

If you're doing daycare then find some tax savings with Dependent care Flexible Spending from your employer.

 

[z1ggy]

All that is going to be dwarfed by childcare. If both of you work and you don't have family to lean on, childcare can be more expensive than your rent.
Ziggy, where in NJ are you? I'm out by where 80 and 287 meet and while houses can be expensive you can move a town over and find lower costs. If you're willing to move in 5 years you don't have to worry about school districts yet. Most schools in NJ are pretty good. You can also look into townhouses that seem to be popular here. That way you get some extra space but don't have the added expenses of property care.

We live in Bedminster. I'm currently still looking for a new job so our relocation is possible. We do want to stay in the "triangle" of 287, 78 and 80 though. No plans to move down to like... near Philly or something. We both work right now but my wife does plan to take 3 months off to take care of our child at first, so from about july-november of next year, we will only have one income. We have a good deal of savings but it is our nest egg and is there really more for a future house downpayment or something.

Luckily, her family lives in Staten Island, so I'm sure her mom would help look after baby for a little while or at least 1 or 2 days a week. I'm also looking for jobs where I can work from home or at least work from home a few days a week. We both realize how insane childcare is. Fellow friend and ATOTer was telling me how he wrote a check I think for like... $1600 a month, for his 2 kids to get looked after by a day care. That's insane and I can't imagine paying an extra $700 a month for rent, having a car payment AND paying $1000+ a month for kiddie care.

 

[JTsyo]

We both work right now but my wife does plan to take 3 months off to take care of our child at first, so from about july-november of next year, we will only have one income.

NJ does have paid maternity leave so be sure to sign up for it.

 

[highland145]

Growing up, 1000sq ft, 5 of us, 3br/1ba and 2 large dogs. You do what you have to do.

 

[sdifox]

Never done that. My starter home was 2800sq ft.

 

[ultimatebob]

First baby due next July. We live in a 2bed ~700sqft condo with no basement, attic, etc (do have a tiny garage though, which is already stuffed). The 2nd bedroom is currently my office, so I'll be forced to get rid of or move much of that stuff. We have no idea how long this space will work for us but we also can't afford to move unless one or both of us gets much higher paying jobs.

So, good people of ATOT, how did you make your tiny living spaces work when you had your first kid? How long did you last in that space until you had to move into something bigger? What tips and tricks did you employ to make the small space you had be functional and work for the longer term?

My wife and I lasted 1 year in a 2 bedroom condo after our daughter was born. The deciding factor wasn't really the lack of space, but the lack of free childcare (grandparents) nearby.

Besides, the schools in that town were horrid. Moving within 4 years was basically required.

 

[mztykal]

My condo was 700sqft when we had my son. Sold that and moved to a 800sqft townhouse in a nicer area. Sold that and moved to a 2800sqft house. No real difference in the space as my son just has a ton of toys. Childcare was the most expensive part. I paid 1600 a month for preschool from age 2-5 and he’s currently in public school. So that money isnt a factor anymore so my wife got a new Mercedes lol...

 

[zinfamous]

Some 4 billion+ people int he world deal with it with far less space, and far more humans in that space. I'm sure you'll figure it out!

 

[snoopy7548]

Babies are usually really small. You could probably keep it in the cabinet under the kitchen sink and not have any problems.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Leave the east coast now while you're still young. There is nothing for you there except high costs, long commutes and other big city denizens too locked in to move. Think about your quality of life, your wife's and, your new baby's for the next twenty years. Leave the insanity now.

 

[IronWing]

You already know that you’re expecting for a July delivery? That’s serious tracking skills.

 

[heymrdj]

We live in Bedminster. I'm currently still looking for a new job so our relocation is possible. We do want to stay in the "triangle" of 287, 78 and 80 though. No plans to move down to like... near Philly or something. We both work right now but my wife does plan to take 3 months off to take care of our child at first, so from about july-november of next year, we will only have one income. We have a good deal of savings but it is our nest egg and is there really more for a future house downpayment or something.

Luckily, her family lives in Staten Island, so I'm sure her mom would help look after baby for a little while or at least 1 or 2 days a week. I'm also looking for jobs where I can work from home or at least work from home a few days a week. We both realize how insane childcare is. Fellow friend and ATOTer was telling me how he wrote a check I think for like... $1600 a month, for his 2 kids to get looked after by a day care. That's insane and I can't imagine paying an extra $700 a month for rent, having a car payment AND paying $1000+ a month for kiddie care.

Please don’t plan on working from home to take care of your kid. That’s exactly the mindset that makes it difficult to get employers to allow WFH opportunities. If you’re playing with your kid, or changing them, cooking for them etc you’re not working. And kids keep you consistently busy. I can’t tell you how math complaints I’ve read aimed at coworkers who happened to have screaming babies in the back ground while important meetings and phone calls were happening.

 

[z1ggy]

Leave the east coast now while you're still young. There is nothing for you there except high costs, long commutes and other big city denizens too locked in to move. Think about your quality of life, your wife's and, your new baby's for the next twenty years. Leave the insanity now.

You're definitely right but honestly doing that means leaving 100% of our family behind. We don't want our kid(s) growing up without seeing their grandparents and other family members on a regular basis.

NJ is 100% a long commute, high cost , high stress state... but it's not about me anymore unfortunately. I had my chance to get out 3-4 yrs ago and I didn't take it. Perhaps if all of my wife's family wanted to move to NC or something, then we'd consider it.

There's also the issue she's a medical practitioner so there's licensing and crap involved with the state you're in. Probably simple enough to deal with but just another hoop to jump through.

 

[z1ggy]

You already know that you’re expecting for a July delivery? That’s serious tracking skills.

... Have you not had kids? They give you your due date at your first OBGYN appt once you hit 5-6 weeks preg. It's based on the woman's cycle and date of last period.

 

[IronWing]

July is eight months out from November so you had to have had some inkling of being pregnant within the first four weeks, again, impressive.