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At what point do you learn what your sig other makes?

The SO suggests doing something expensive. You say "I can't afford that, I don't make as much as you do." The SO explodes "BS! I only make X".
 
Seriously? How the hell do you plan anything if you don't know what you both make.

"Hmm, I think we can afford this house, but I have no idea what my wife makes!
 
She was in the car when I got a phone call with the job offer. I found out about hers when she get the offer in the mail. And we obviously both tell eachother about raises and what not.

How do people not know these things!? Don't even get me started on having separate bank accounts either.
 
Syringer said:
Reading fail. The question was WHEN did you find this out. If you've been married for 20 years, you would say "Oh I found out 2 months into it".
Click to expand...

how can one go far into a relationship not knowing what the so makes? that is why i am asking if sig = marriage or just gf/bf.

to answer the question correctly, before we even started to date.
 
Syringer said:
Reading fail. The question was WHEN did you find this out. If you've been married for 20 years, you would say "Oh I found out 2 months into it".
Click to expand...

I knew before I was married.

What was this, an arranged marriage or a Vegas marriage? How short was your relationship that this never came up?
 
bob4432 said:
how can one go far into a relationship not knowing what the so makes? that is why i am asking if sig = marriage or just gf/bf.

to answer the question correctly, before we even started to date.
Click to expand...

There was never a suggestion that that information wasn't being divulged by anyone, the question was when it was, which, you answered here.

I only ask because this girl asked me the other night after just a few times out..
 
My wife and I started dating in college, so when we got our first jobs out of college we didn't hide our income from each other.

Jumpem said:
How do people not know these things!? Don't even get me started on having separate bank accounts either.
Click to expand...

Go ahead and get started.

Bank accounts just hold money. The problem comes when you think of the money as belonging to one of the individuals as opposed to the couple.
 
People are too shy with money. I don't care I'd tell on the first date whether I made 8 bucks an hour or 8 hundred an hour.
 
At what point do you learn what your sig other makes?

Any time before they become your significant other. For me they wouldn't BE a significant other without that knowledge.

Like mugs I married while in college and, since I've always handled the finances, I've always known exactly how much he made.
 
She knew mine before we even met (and she was a student so no $), I had an internship she wanted and the salary was common knowledge.

I tell people all the time how much I make, which at $31.5k is pretty decent for non-profit bioscience research. Avoiding talking about salary is pretty stupid, how else are you supposed to get a good gauge on what the local wages are? The only party it benefits is the employer.
 
Last edited:
Around the time you're seriously thinking about engagement/marriage or moving in together, you should discuss money, including this.
Unless you find out some other way - like working together, as mentioned.

Otherwise, I don't think either party should disclose too early.
 
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