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At what point do we PC ourselves retarded?

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
I have a coworker who is a grandmother. Her daughter has a boatload of psych issues and two daughters of her own. Because of the psych issues she has lost custody of her children to the grandmother. There is no father to be found. He's a deadbeat.

Anywhoo...

The school these girls go to (I think it's private, not that it matters) doesn't have any Christmas stuff. They have winter celebration. They don't have Valentines day. They don't do forth of July. And there were a couple others that they don't celebrate/recognize.

But they do have something a couple times a year called "Muffins with Mom" and "Donughts with Dad" where Mom or Dad come in and have breakfast with the kids before school.

I guess at the most recent "Doughnut Day" my coworkers grand daughter ran away from school and was found hudded into a mess crying because she didn't have a Dad to come there.

Now my coworker is going to the school board to propose that they drop the Dad/Mom off the end of the days because she feels that it's descriminating to kids that don't have one or the other(or both missing).

I just kept my mouth shut. I'm not saying kids should punished for not having a traditional family....but at what point do we stop catering to the exceptions? FWIW, the grandmother has no husband so Grandpa couldn't come. I don't think there's any legitmate/reliable uncles either. I just think it's punishing the rest of the school for this families lack their of.

I didn't grow up in broken home, so I know I don't have the same experiences/feelings as kids that do. But tapdancing around words doesn't make their family life better.

Next thing you know is that they'll stop having "parent/teacher" conferences and it will just be "teacher conferences" since not every kid has a parent. Where does it stop?
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
I have a coworker who is a grandmother. Her daughter has a boatload of psych issues and two daughters of her own. Because of the psych issues she has lost custody of her children to the grandmother. There is no father to be found. He's a deadbeat.

Anywhoo...

The school these girls go to (I think it's private, not that it matters) doesn't have any Christmas stuff. They have winter celebration. They don't have Valentines day. They don't do forth of July. And there were a couple others that they don't celebrate/recognize.

But they do have something a couple times a year called "Muffins with Mom" and "Donughts with Dad" where Mom or Dad come in and have breakfast with the kids before school.

I guess at the most recent "Doughnut Day" my coworkers grand daughter ran away from school and was found hudded into a mess crying because she didn't have a Dad to come there.

Now my coworker is going to the school board to propose that they drop the Dad/Mom off the end of the days because she feels that it's descriminating to kids that don't have one or the other(or both missing).

I just kept my mouth shut. I'm not saying kids should punished for not having a traditional family....but at what point do we stop catering to the exceptions? FWIW, the grandmother has no husband so Grandpa couldn't come. I don't think there's any legitmate/reliable uncles either. I just think it's punishing the rest of the school for this families lack their of.

I didn't grow up in broken home, so I know I don't have the same experiences/feelings as kids that do. But tapdancing around words doesn't make their family life better.

Next thing you know is that they'll stop having "parent/teacher" conferences and it will just be "teacher conferences" since not every kid has a parent. Where does it stop?

This.

Avoiding the subject isn't going to fix it. I grew up without a dad and didn't run away crying when someone mentioned their dad.

Once again...our jobs as parents are to prepare our children for the real world, not shelter them from it.
 
I was under the impression we had already blasted through the retarded barricade and were now barrelling at an unstoppable speed towards oblivion.
 
I think we're already there. Reference how young people can't cope with much of anything these days without being "traumatized".
 
Originally posted by: PingSpike
I was under the impression we had already blasted through the retarded barricade and were now barrelling at an unstoppable speed towards oblivion.

Worded too eloquently to be wasted in a forum.
 
Originally posted by: NSFW
Originally posted by: vi edit
I have a coworker who is a grandmother. Her daughter has a boatload of psych issues and two daughters of her own. Because of the psych issues she has lost custody of her children to the grandmother. There is no father to be found. He's a deadbeat.

Anywhoo...

The school these girls go to (I think it's private, not that it matters) doesn't have any Christmas stuff. They have winter celebration. They don't have Valentines day. They don't do forth of July. And there were a couple others that they don't celebrate/recognize.

But they do have something a couple times a year called "Muffins with Mom" and "Donughts with Dad" where Mom or Dad come in and have breakfast with the kids before school.

I guess at the most recent "Doughnut Day" my coworkers grand daughter ran away from school and was found hudded into a mess crying because she didn't have a Dad to come there.

Now my coworker is going to the school board to propose that they drop the Dad/Mom off the end of the days because she feels that it's descriminating to kids that don't have one or the other(or both missing).

I just kept my mouth shut. I'm not saying kids should punished for not having a traditional family....but at what point do we stop catering to the exceptions? FWIW, the grandmother has no husband so Grandpa couldn't come. I don't think there's any legitmate/reliable uncles either. I just think it's punishing the rest of the school for this families lack their of.

I didn't grow up in broken home, so I know I don't have the same experiences/feelings as kids that do. But tapdancing around words doesn't make their family life better.

Next thing you know is that they'll stop having "parent/teacher" conferences and it will just be "teacher conferences" since not every kid has a parent. Where does it stop?

This.

Avoiding the subject isn't going to fix it. I grew up without a dad and didn't run away crying when someone mentioned their dad.

Once again...our jobs as parents are to prepare our children for the real world, not shelter them from it.

I was in the same situation. I agree with NSFW 100%.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
I think we're already there. Reference how young people can't cope with much of anything these days without being "traumatized".

Because people encourage them to act that way in order to win sympathy and/or money.

"Pain and suffering" and "emotional trauma" mean big money in legal settlements. Maybe we should look at reforming how our civil justice system works.
 
Originally posted by: torpid
Rename it to Doughnuts with Dudes and Muffins with Mammaries.

I woud want to come for mammaries and muffins... Why should I get stuck with Doghnuts, just because I am a man. Discrimination!
 
Sounds like grandma needs to find a good male role model for these kids to be their "dad". Get involved in a Big Brother, Big Sister program, join a church, whatever.

The kid isn't "weak" to be so upset or traumatized by this; it's completely understandable to want a dad and to feel pain for not having it. The solution for that isn't to eliminate things that remind her of the situation because that is never going to work completely. The solution is to provide for that emotional need in her life.
 
Originally posted by: Tsaico
Originally posted by: torpid
Rename it to Doughnuts with Dudes and Muffins with Mammaries.

I woud want to come for mammaries and muffins... Why should I get stuck with Doghnuts, just because I am a man. Discrimination!

Buy a wig and dress. Give yourself a close shave. Wear heels. Problem solved.

More info
 
Originally posted by: torpid
Rename it to Doughnuts with Dudes and Muffins with Mammaries.

If I'm not mistaken, Dudes w. Donuts was playing at the Studcat Theater south of downtown...
 


coworker is going to the school board to propose that they drop the Dad/Mom off the end of the days because she feels that it's descriminating to kids that don't have one or the other(or both missing)

she is right.

i agree with the grandmother. in my opinion having a separte event for a mom and a dad is just wrong and crushes a kid when they dont have that and have to sit in the room watching classmates spend time with the parent they dont have. To me that is cold and heartless and in my opinion the school should combine the events. to one day to something like "morning with your parent"
 
Originally posted by: NSFW
Originally posted by: vi edit
I have a coworker who is a grandmother. Her daughter has a boatload of psych issues and two daughters of her own. Because of the psych issues she has lost custody of her children to the grandmother. There is no father to be found. He's a deadbeat.

Anywhoo...

The school these girls go to (I think it's private, not that it matters) doesn't have any Christmas stuff. They have winter celebration. They don't have Valentines day. They don't do forth of July. And there were a couple others that they don't celebrate/recognize.

But they do have something a couple times a year called "Muffins with Mom" and "Donughts with Dad" where Mom or Dad come in and have breakfast with the kids before school.

I guess at the most recent "Doughnut Day" my coworkers grand daughter ran away from school and was found hudded into a mess crying because she didn't have a Dad to come there.

Now my coworker is going to the school board to propose that they drop the Dad/Mom off the end of the days because she feels that it's descriminating to kids that don't have one or the other(or both missing).

I just kept my mouth shut. I'm not saying kids should punished for not having a traditional family....but at what point do we stop catering to the exceptions? FWIW, the grandmother has no husband so Grandpa couldn't come. I don't think there's any legitmate/reliable uncles either. I just think it's punishing the rest of the school for this families lack their of.

I didn't grow up in broken home, so I know I don't have the same experiences/feelings as kids that do. But tapdancing around words doesn't make their family life better.

Next thing you know is that they'll stop having "parent/teacher" conferences and it will just be "teacher conferences" since not every kid has a parent. Where does it stop?

This.

Avoiding the subject isn't going to fix it. I grew up without a dad and didn't run away crying when someone mentioned their dad.

Once again...our jobs as parents are to prepare our children for the real world, not shelter them from it.

to a point that is correct but that does not mean to be a dick to them and dont take in account a kids feelings on things. elementary school kids are not at the maturity level of high school and you should not treat a 7 year old as you would a 16 year old.

 
Originally posted by: Citrix
i agree with the grandmother. in my opinion having a separte event for a mom and a dad is just wrong and crushes a kid when they dont have that and have to sit in the room watching classmates spend time with the parent they dont have. To me that is cold and heartless and in my opinion the school should combine the events. to one day to something like "morning with your parent"

That would be a good compromise but I bet the grandmother accepts nothing unless it's "bring your grandmother that you're living with because your mom went crazy for muffins" day.
 
Surely there's some male figure that could could accompany her to these kinds of events. Poor kid. 🙁

But I agree that trying to get the whole activity shut down is ridiculous.
 
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