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AT has as many members as a mid-size city

S

Saulbadguy

Diamond Member
For some reason I started thinking about this. How would the ATOT part of "AT City" run? Who would be the mayor? Who would run what services? How would we operate? What would be our slogan?
 
Originally posted by: minendo
In the previous election, Russ was voted as mayor. No election has been carried out since.
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What do the bylaws state regarding Term of Office?
 
you'd have the majority of the citizens going about their normal day to day business and then you'd have a handful of loudmouths running around. none of those people would have any influence whatsoever on the actual policies and running of the city though. that would be left up to nameless, faceless beings that are above everyone else in the city. No?
 
WombatWoman already covered this. The city is called Offtopicana.

The sun is rising on a typical day in Offtopicana, a suburb of the busy metropolis AnandTown. Mayor Russ is chain-smoking (using real chains!) while preparing for his impeachment hearing, after having been accused of understanding Moonbeam.

Red Dawn is spending a leisurely hour at the spa, enjoying an esteem bath while having his fangs sharpened and his vitriol tank refilled, unaware that his arch-enemy Texmaster is plotting to destroy him by boring him to death.

In the afternoon, sexy shenanigans reach a crescendo (what is that 'fapping' sound???) as Perknose, happykitten, baffled2, hzl_eyed_grl, and the late Thunderbooty engage in a public flirting exhibition, only to be upstaged by the last-minute entry of Jerboy, whose arrival causes the audience to stampede for the exits, injuring many, including Jerboy himself. He will be OK as soon as his swollen ego goes down (unlikely.)

Gossip abounds regarding eakers' new baby. Rumors say that the child may have been fathered by everybody. However, the pink-haired, nekkid infant bears a distinct resemblance to Adul (who, in a startling revelation, may not be a woman after all.) There is shocking news that Paulson and Hubbs were switched at birth; the always diplomatic and wise Harvey suggests that the situation can be remedied by cutting them in half, then reassembling the pieces and changing their usernames to Haulson and Pubbs.

The AnandTech Moderators decide to crack down on posts that promote copyright violation, drug use, sexual themes, and personal attacks, and the subsequent drastic downsizing of the forums results in massive moderatorial layoffs. The one remaining Mod is required to be The Fun Mod, The Mean Mod, and The Watchful Mod all at once. The stress causes him to fall into modness, and the poor fellow is carted off to the modhouse, shrieking "Ban 'em into the Stone Age!"

The sun is setting now in Offtopicana, and the cool evening is punctuated by intermittent cries of "pics!" Occasionally you can hear a nonexistent Fusetalk Forum bug droning amid the steady buzz of nefs nattering about religion, LOTR, cars, politics, Bruce Lee vs Coke, and butter. As we settle in for the night, we hear the comforting sound of threads being locked, to keep the trolls out. All is well in AnandTown, where the deals are hot, the dudes are cool, and the women are above average (all eight of them.) Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the Best Buy bite.
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A new day beings in Offtopicana, a suburb of the bustling urban hub AnandTown. An ***OFFICIAL*** and ***CONFIRMED*** survey has revealed what Offtopicanans typically eat. Starting with breakfast...

A clueless youngster has accidentally wandered into Red Dawn's lair (known to survivors as "Club Red,") and the ferocious RD is gnawing the meat from the newbie's bones. A cluster of scrawny, cowering wannabe-Red jackals lurk nearby, hoping to snatch a scrap of partially masticated newbie meat that drops from the jaws of the Master.

The Giggly Grinch is enjoying a breakfast of hzl_nuts (imported from another forum,) baffled2 is having fresh carrot-top, and yakko and Adul continue their cereal rivalry of Postcount Toasties. LordMaul is happily noshing on his seventh PhotoChomp.

Roger, blade, and TonyH often forgo breakfast so that they will be lean and hungry for the daily troll hunt. On this morning, however, Roger and TonyH are sharing some freshly nuked troll-house cookies, while blade enjoys a few bytes of PotatoChip Abusers.

Mayor Russ has his usual repast, a cigarette dunked in chocolate pudding.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a geneticist... and hey presto, it's noontime in Offtopicana. What's for lunch? In kami's case, it's always brown-baggins. Perknose opts for a tongue-in-cheek sandwich slathered with Miracle Wit. Moonbeam munches marinated mushrooms and karmal corn. Harvey, the six-foot-tall-rabbit (or is that 'rabbi'?) has a taste for greenery, which he demonstrates by nibbling on the verdant Chia Head of WombatWoman. Young linuxboy, the Poster Child of Sesquipedalianism, eats a dictionary and happily belches his usual "Cheers!"

Down at the Nefeteria, the many-headed AnandTech Moderator indulges in some jellybeans and a nice Chianti. Zuni clears the cache of cookies and sips some refreshing cold fusion. Anand Lal Shimpi orders the catch of the day, "See Boss."

And as we approach nighttime in Offtopicana, the trolls come out to prey. There is not much nourishment in these vile creatures, since they are full of crap; but nevertheless, one by one, the trolls are killed and consumed by the Mod Squad and the terminators from Whack-a-Troll. No source of protein is ever wasted in AnandTown, although there is occasional disagreement among the Moderators regarding who should be eaten (hence the famous saying, "One Mod's Meat is Another Mod's Paulson.")

It's midnight in AnandTown, and tasty snacks abound. Rantmeisters jonnyGURU and Windogg share a rare beef. Race-baiters indulge in a little white whine. And many who should be eating crow are, instead, shooting the bird. Ah, yes, this is Offtopicana, the finest all-night-greasyspoon of the Information Superhighway, where the threads may be locked, but the front door is always open, where almost everything is either raw, half-baked, or flame-broiled, and where the favorite menu items are butter...

Coke...

and Bruce Lee.
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The mayor would be a faceless guy who randomly makes people disappear and occasionally leaves a witty note at the scene of their disappearance

Zim Hosein would be the village drunk

Syringer would be the exterminator

Fausto would be the bike and thong fashion expert

RossMAN would probably own 50% of the city through his numerous hot deals on real estate

The slogan could be: "ATOT, your one stop for the answers to every question you can imagine and the answer to every question you didn't imagine"

😛
 
The demographics would be pretty screwed up.

We would need a special facility to contain the P&N forum. One with lots of rubber rooms.
 
Originally posted by: K1052
The demographics would be pretty screwed up.

We would need a special facility to contain the P&N forum. One with lots of rubber rooms.
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Yeah, I just thought of that too. 83 thousand males and about 8 females.
 
Broadband for all, a very affluent general hardare district, a huge commercial district (HD & FS/FT), a dark smoky industrial wasteland where gangs fight all the time (P&N) and a large suburbia filled with white male bachelors (ATOT)

Just outside the city limits would be a ring of whorehouses and strip clubs.

Also we'de have the pinnacle in global photo taking technology.
 
Did you ever see the Simpson's episode where the nerds take over the city government?

There you go...
 
P&N would be City Hall, where nothing would get done.
OT would be like central park - shady geeks stalking women and random conversations over nothing.
ATHD would be like the NYSE - people simply refusing to pay another cent for an item and threatening lawsuits over pricing errors.

It would also be the biggest sausage fest in known space.
 
Well first off I would have one bad ass computer because of all the geeks that populate my city.

Secondly, I'd have to get a sex change because if I don't, I'm liable to be sexually assaulted by young boys for being like the only female.

And if I chose not to, I'd know just how to sucker most of you and get my way ALL the TIME because life would be like an open forum. I'd just have to go to one of the many "Search" centres and type in YAGT.

the list goes on...
 
It would be a city predominantly filled with males. The few women living here would be lonely because the men would be too scared to talk to them. Eventually, the population would die out because there wouldn't be any reproduction. A tragic ending to the city of Anandtech.
 
I dont think reproduction would be an issue....the number of femailes that actually did exist is probably close to the number of males that would actually be eligible bachelors...i.e. talk to women, are not big wussies, not married, not deformed, not pyschotic. The other would eventually die off creatiing a perfect survival of thte fittest scenario.
 
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