Assaulting a police officer

[sonambulo]

Alright I know I'm going to get fucking roasted in here for this one but I figured I'd ask anyways.

So my friends and I were shooting the shit talking about potentially funny pranks or videos that could be pulled off and have the video put on youtube. The best idea of the night IMO was sneaking up to a cop and fucking wailing them across the ass once with a paddle and then running like hell. Now in order for it to work the cop would have to be fairly out of shape and the paddle wielder would have to be training for a while to be able to sprint a ways and disappear into the crowd.

It's almost certain you'd be caught.

However you could edit the video to hide that part. So what kind of punishment are we looking at here? Clearly you'd get arrested and get your ass kicked inside out at the station. What kind of criminal charges are we looking at here?





What are you thinking? The collective IQ of this forum just dropped a couple points with this thread.

By your own admission, it's a troll thread, so what does that make you?


esquared
Anandtech Senior Moderator

 

[jlee]

I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Felony assault on a police officer.

Loss of gun rights, have to declare a felony on job applications, unable to hold certain government jobs, etc. Oh, not to mention the prison time.

Plus imagine how often you'd be pulled over from then on, and delayed for hours for no reason.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

 

[cyclohexane]

you could get shot

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. My asshole puckered up tight as soon as I read that.

What if we just pay a fat guy to dress up as a cop?

 

[K1052]

What would be really funny would be the ensuing prison rape starring you and several large well endowed black men after you get convicted of felony assault on an officer.

 

[HannibalX]

Stupid kids are stupid.

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: K1052
What would be really funny would be the ensuing prison rape starring you and several large well endowed black men after you get convicted of felony assault on an officer.

<3 stereotypes

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: sonambulo
Alright I know I'm going to get fucking roasted in here for this one but I figured I'd ask anyways.

So my friends and I were shooting the shit talking about potentially funny pranks or videos that could be pulled off and have the video put on youtube. The best idea of the night IMO was sneaking up to a cop and fucking wailing them across the ass once with a paddle and then running like hell. Now in order for it to work the cop would have to be fairly out of shape and the paddle wielder would have to be training for a while to be able to sprint a ways and disappear into the crowd.

It's almost certain you'd be caught.

However you could edit the video to hide that part. So what kind of punishment are we looking at here? Clearly you'd get arrested and get your ass kicked inside out at the station. What kind of criminal charges are we looking at here?

Quoted for posterity.

 

[darkxshade]

Assaulting an unknown armed officer. Brilliant.

Can I have your stuff?

 

[jlee]

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

 

[Jeeebus]

Originally posted by: K1052
What would be really funny would be the ensuing prison rape starring you and several large well endowed black men after you get convicted of felony assault on an officer.

that will wind up on Youtube with far greater views than his original idiotic idea.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: sonambulo

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. My asshole puckered up tight as soon as I read that.

What if we just pay a fat guy to dress up as a cop?

If you pay somebody to be involved, that's between you and him. At worst, the cops see it, and you get to explain to them (probably after being tackled and cuffed) that you're paying him to take part in a video.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Originally posted by: JLee

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

I know 😉

In AR police are (unless the law has changed) considered property of the state. So you could also get pegged with a charge of fucking with state property.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: JLee

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

Can't imagine why you're familiar with those laws. 😛

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: JLee

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

See? This is why I asked first.

I'm not stupid enough to actually go through with it just stupid enough to talk about it on ATOT.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

I know 😉

In AR police are (unless the law has changed) considered property of the state. So you could also get pegged with a charge of fucking with state property.

:laugh:

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: sonambulo

Originally posted by: JLee

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

See? This is why I asked first.

I'm not stupid enough to actually go through with it just stupid enough to talk about it on ATOT.

You're disappointing me. I was looking forwards to a video of cops delivering a beatdown to you. Nothing personal of course.

 

[jlee]

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee

Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones

Originally posted by: JLee
I would be fking pissed.

Simple Assault, Resisting Arrest, both Class A misdemeanors - up to 1 year in jail and $2000.00 fine (each). That's NH. Other states will vary.

Assault on an LEO can be a felony

As I said, other states will vary. Barring other circumstances, the situation as described in the OP would not constitute a felony in New Hampshire.

I am somewhat familiar. 😉

I know 😉

In AR police are (unless the law has changed) considered property of the state. So you could also get pegged with a charge of fucking with state property.

:heart:

 

[Sea Moose]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...eature=player_embedded

This is what will happen to you

 

[sonambulo]

Originally posted by: MotF Bane
If you pay somebody to be involved, that's between you and him. At worst, the cops see it, and you get to explain to them (probably after being tackled and cuffed) that you're paying him to take part in a video.

Mmmmm. I suppose we'd need a filming license and have to notify city hall and all of that nonsense. All spontaneity is gone though and it wouldn't result in much of a video. It's just too much work and money to get some animated gifs out of the deal.

MYTH BUSTED

 

[IceBergSLiM]

your going to jail. the judge won't find your shenanigans at all funny.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: sonambulo

Originally posted by: MotF Bane
If you pay somebody to be involved, that's between you and him. At worst, the cops see it, and you get to explain to them (probably after being tackled and cuffed) that you're paying him to take part in a video.

Mmmmm. I suppose we'd need a filming license and have to notify city hall and all of that nonsense. All spontaneity is gone though and it wouldn't result in much of a video. It's just too much work and money to get some animated gifs out of the deal.

MYTH BUSTED

Filming license for that crap? What the fuck?

 

[waggy]

great idea. film it and then get back to us.