Ask permission when proposing?

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JulesMaximus

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,600
1,005
126
The only person I asked permission from was my wife. She's the only one who's answer I cared about quite frankly.
 
dullard

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,201
4,871
126
No.

I also didn't hit my GF over the head with a giant wooden club, nor did I force her to pay a dowry, or any other silly out of date ritual.
 
buck

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
In my situation I did ask her dad, it was to show respect. Some people dont really care, so its really up to your situation. If you dont care then dont...
 
T

torpid

Lifer
Sep 14, 2003
11,631
11
76
If you can and you know they don't dislike you, go for it. Instant brownie points with the parents and girl (when she later finds out).
 
A

AmerDoux

Senior member
Dec 4, 2001
644
0
71
One of my nephews went to each set of parents to discuss it. He did not "ask permission", instead he approached it by asking the parents what they thought about it if they did get married; did they have any concerns or issues to discuss before the two of them officially became engaged. His objective was to keep things as harmonious as possible between the parents and to address any concerns they may have in an upfront manner. I have to say, so far it's worked. Both families get along well, spend time with each other, and there are no arguments or jealousies regarding holidays or who's house they are spending more time at.
 
S

ShadowOfMyself

Diamond Member
Jun 22, 2006
4,227
2
0
Hum.. Why would you do that? If you are gonna marry someone, they are not underage, so they dont need their parents consent... Sounds stupid to me
 
K

Kelvrick

Lifer
Feb 14, 2001
18,422
5
81
Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself
Hum.. Why would you do that? If you are gonna marry someone, they are not underage, so they dont need their parents consent... Sounds stupid to me
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Tradition.

One of the more recent dowries among my friends was 76cents in pennies (one for each relative attending the wedding) and a McDonalds quarter pounder with cheese value meal because the dad was hungry.

EDIT: THe dad still has the receipt to prove it because he loves the story.
 
Y

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
If I thought her parents would appreciate it, and I knew they'd say yes, I'd do it. What's the harm in making them happy and getting closer to them?
 
H

homercles337

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2004
6,340
3
71
This really depends on the girl. Some traditional girls will like it, maybe even expect it. But if your girl is not close with her family she could be insulted (my ex has said that she would be, but then i never asked her to marry me which is why she is my ex and im single again :( ).

Edit: BTW, pole would help this thread.
 
U

uhohs

Diamond Member
Oct 29, 2005
7,660
44
91
Originally posted by: nerve
Originally posted by: Kelvrick
GF's mom can't wait for me to pop the question.
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same here. well both parents actually...
her father is talking about kids already
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since they love you, and will say yes. go for it.
 
A

antyler

Golden Member
Aug 7, 2005
1,745
0
0
I asked both parents at the same time. They looked at each other for about twenty seconds and then said "yes". it was one of the hardest things i ever did, yet the easiest at the same time.
 
A

aka1nas

Diamond Member
Aug 30, 2001
4,335
1
0
My wife wanted me to ask her parent's for their blessing. So I typed up a nice formal letter and had my wife translate it into Russian and email it to her parents in Kazakhstan. Not exactly traditional, but it's the thought that counts.:D
 
buck

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
Originally posted by: yowolabi
If I thought her parents would appreciate it, and I knew they'd say yes, I'd do it. What's the harm in making them happy and getting closer to them?
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DING DING DING!!
We have a winnar!!!!


This is why i asked her dad (didnt ask her mom). You get closer to your future inlaws and it makes everyone even that much happier. There is no way i was passing up on this.
 
TallBill

TallBill

Lifer
Apr 29, 2001
46,017
62
91
Originally posted by: Printer Bandit
what if the parent's say no? what the hell do you do then?
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Then you get married anyways. Basically it puts pressure on them to take you into their family, but if they say no, then you snatch their daughter away from them. :p

Btw, I wrote a letter from Afghanistan to my wife's parents, just being nice. Of course, we had a wedding date before I formally proposed to my wife anyways.
 
alkemyst

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Many women don't really want you to ask the parents first today. It's ok if you are in agreement to ask them before anyone knows you already proposed though.

Quite a few women don't like the property association that asking for their hand conveys.
 
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