Ask a paranoid guy anything...

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Do you check to see if some one is in the shower stall before you use the toilet.

I use clear shower curtains. I could spot a cockroach through the curtains. Speaking of insects, my room is hermetically sealed. No cracks on walls, closets or anything. I am actually 98% that there are no multicellular organisms in my room when I sleep.

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: sdifox
Do you have a cellphone?

Yes, but I use the speakerphone feature most of the time. If I can't use it because of where I am, I just don't answer it.

 

[brandonb]

Did you know that the FBI/CIA can listen to you in your house if you have the phone picked up or not. So make sure you don't say anything you shouldn't, ever.

Also, like they used in WACO during a certain seige, they can shoot a bullet into the side of your living space and gain a visual of your house, including infrared. With the phone they can hear you, and with the special bullet, see you. So make sure you don't give them any certain visuals, like picking your nose, or.... touching yourself.

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: sandorski
Are they following me?

If so, who are they? Alien or Government?

I'm paranoid, but not crazy. If aliens exist (they probably do) then they have not visited us. I don't believe in government conspiracies.

 

[preslove]

Do you have a gf or wife?

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: MattCo

Originally posted by: rivan
Have you ever had your steering wheel come loose while driving, separating completely from the steering column?

I have.

Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?

Narrator: You wouldn't believe.

Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?

Narrator: A major one.

From an engineering perspective, the question ends up being is it likely to occur again, was it a design, a materials, or a manufacturing process problem? Was it a maintenance issue or was it just a one off fluke?

For example:
We had a system fail because a cable inside of a system had a wire break because it didn't have a strain relief. There is no right angle off the shelf strain relief available. The fix would have been to engineer and implement a strain relief. However, in the entire history of this product there has been a total of one occurance. It doesn't make sense to spend the time, resources, and money to fix something that really isn't a problem.

That said, to an airline, each passenger is worth $250k iirc

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: preslove
Do you have a gf or wife?

Nah. Too risky. I live with a roomate. I do go out with girls once in a while, after making sure that they won't increase my chances of death.

 

[SpunkyJones]

Originally posted by: preslove
Do you have a gf or wife?

I think we all know the answer this one!

 

[GagHalfrunt]

When you watch football are you worried that the guys in the huddle are plotting against you?

 

[sdifox]

Originally posted by: Arcadio

Originally posted by: preslove
Do you have a gf or wife?

Nah. Too risky. I live with a roomate. I do go out with girls once in a while, after making sure that they won't increase my chances of death.

bad news, statistically women live longer because they nag their spouse to death.

 

[DainBramaged]

Do you not have any vents to your room? How do you keep bugs from using this?

What about restrooms? What special precautions do you take?

 

[thecrecarc]

Why are they after you?

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Do you not have any vents to your room? How do you keep bugs from using this?

What about restrooms? What special precautions do you take?

My room has no vents whatsoever. I use an electrical heater and I don't have an AC. I have a mesh on my windows, and I do open the windows sometimes, but the mesh protects me from the bugs that could cause death and sickness.

I don't use public restrooms that much. If I do, I don't worry too much, since the risk of anything happening there is very small. I carry hand sanitizer everywhere.

 

[loup garou]

HOLY CRAP WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
When you watch football are you worried that the guys in the huddle are plotting against you?

I am not crazy. The probability of that happening is virtually 0. It is all about probabilities, not senseless crackpot conspiracies.

I worry more about the wires behind my computer than about the van parked outside.

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: loup garou
HOLY CRAP WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!

A clean wall with two picture frames safely screwed to the walls.

 

[thecrecarc]

Hows your health? Chance of heart attack?

 

[DainBramaged]

Where do you work? How do you prevent bad things from happening there?

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Arcadio

Originally posted by: 40Hands
Do you not walk over grates on sidewalks for fear that you will fall in?

Yes. I only walk on grates that I have concluded to be safe after analyzing them for a few seconds before I step on them. Some of them you can tell that there is a 0% risk of them falling in.

No you can't. There could be cracks on the bottom that will only break under your full weight.
Those welds might be juuuust ready to break.

Originally posted by: Arcadio
My room has no vents whatsoever. I use an electrical heater and I don't have an AC. I have a mesh on my windows, and I do open the windows sometimes, but the mesh protects me from the bugs that could cause death and sickness.

I don't use public restrooms that much. If I do, I don't worry too much, since the risk of anything happening there is very small. I carry hand sanitizer everywhere.

What if a bug lands on the screen and sticks its ovipositor through the screen, and lays eggs on the inside of the room? Then what?
And bugs can always get into your room, assuming you don't have a decontamination chamber or airlock to get in. That door's got to be opened at some point in time.



How clean is your keyboard?

Sunlight causes cancer.

Are you allergic to beestings?

Do you thoroughly sterilize all food yourself?

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: thecrecarc
Hows your health? Chance of heart attack?

I have been to the ER 3 times. One for chest pain. Two for headaches. The chest pain turned out to be muscle pain (I workout). The headaches were nothing serious. The doctor told me to stop worrying because I am indeed healthy.

BTW, I eat extremely healthy.

 

[antyler]

Originally posted by: Arcadio

Originally posted by: preslove
Do you have a gf or wife?

Nah. Too risky. I live with a roomate. I do go out with girls once in a while, after making sure that they won't increase my chances of death.

too risky haha. thats hilarious.

 

[Arcadio]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Where do you work? How do you prevent bad things from happening there?

I work in an office (programmer). There is not much I can do. I keep everything clean, bring my own food and water, clean my pc and desk daily, etc.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Arcadio

Originally posted by: thecrecarc
Hows your health? Chance of heart attack?

I have been to the ER 3 times. One for chest pain. Two for headaches. The chest pain turned out to be muscle pain (I workout). The headaches were nothing serious. The doctor told me to stop worrying because I am indeed healthy.

BTW, I eat extremely healthy.

you may eat "healthy", but do you know where your food's been or who's touched it before you eat it?

Also, do you handle cash or wash it with dissinfectant before you touch it.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Arcadio

Originally posted by: 40Hands
Do you not walk over grates on sidewalks for fear that you will fall in?

Yes. I only walk on grates that I have concluded to be safe after analyzing them for a few seconds before I step on them. Some of them you can tell that there is a 0% risk of them falling in.

there was a story yesterday where someone (was it Spain? was it somewhere in the US? I forget...) had been setting traps in a local park to capture joggers. He had placed sharp spikes at the bottom of deep pits, covering them with leaves, like a tiger trap. I think his traps have claimed around 8 joggers so far (none of them fatal, I believe)

Knowing this, how do you feel about jogging, or simply walking through a public park?

 

[Braznor]

Awesome thread!