Arrgh!

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Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
My ex is really starting to piss me off now. We have been living together, due to financial reasons, even though we are apart, and the deal was, he was going to get his own place before Christmas. Well, he got laid off, so I was not about to throw him out. It's now February, and he has been working for about two months now, so I ask when he is going to move out. He gets mad at me, and starts telling me basically how I am a bitch for asking that, etc, so on. All I want is my life back, and my own home, he knew this and agreed to it months ago. He admits we won't work, so why is he trying to hold on? I am so tired of being made the bad guy in a situation that two people made a choice together to end. So now I ended up hanging up on him and crying my eyes out, because I don't want to be the bitch he drives me to be. God!

:(
 
pyonir

pyonir

Lifer
Dec 18, 2001
40,856
321
126
:| be the 'bitch' and tell him to get his worthless ass out. Sometimes you have to be 'mean' to get what you want, and have every right to have.
 
B

Beau

Lifer
Jun 25, 2001
17,730
0
76
www.beauscott.com
It's cool that you guys are still civil to eachother, but seriously:If he's in a position that he could be on his own, then he's worn out his welcome. Don't let him forget that.
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
It's just frustrating, because I want to get on with my life. In the last few months, I have come so far, gone back to school, gotten a good job with benefits, I am self sufficient, and I don't think its so wrong to want to just have my own home. But he makes me feel horrible about wanting those things. And, I think he knows it.

It's my apartment, in my name. But the landlord and him are real buddy buddy.
 
Analog

Analog

Lifer
Jan 7, 2002
12,755
3
0
Originally posted by: Yeeny
It's just frustrating, because I want to get on with my life. In the last few months, I have come so far, gone back to school, gotten a good job with benefits, I am self sufficient, and I don't think its so wrong to want to just have my own home. But he makes me feel horrible about wanting those things. And, I think he knows it.

It's my apartment, in my name. But the landlord and him are real buddy buddy.
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get some backbone girl!
 
S

SnapIT

Banned
Jul 8, 2002
4,355
1
0
Originally posted by: Yeeny
My ex is really starting to piss me off now. We have been living together, due to financial reasons, even though we are apart, and the deal was, he was going to get his own place before Christmas. Well, he got laid off, so I was not about to throw him out. It's now February, and he has been working for about two months now, so I ask when he is going to move out. He gets mad at me, and starts telling me basically how I am a bitch for asking that, etc, so on. All I want is my life back, and my own home, he knew this and agreed to it months ago. He admits we won't work, so why is he trying to hold on? I am so tired of being made the bad guy in a situation that two people made a choice together to end. So now I ended up hanging up on him and crying my eyes out, because I don't want to be the bitch he drives me to be. God!

:(
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If you don't thow him out he will never leave...

Being a bitch has nothing to do with this, you can't go on like this, it's not good for either of you...
 
L

LSUfan

Golden Member
Jan 14, 2003
1,671
0
0
Well since you cant leave. You are going to have to just cut him loose. He wil be mad and you wont feel good about it but, it will be best in the long run.
 
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BooGiMaN

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
7,955
0
0
Tell him your moving out in a month and he needs to start looking for another place.
 
K

kermalou

Diamond Member
Jun 22, 2001
6,237
0
0
free room and board, I'm in for life, tell me where to sign up......

that is what it sounds like...
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
He comes home today, woohoo, WWIII begins. :p Ugh, I hate fighting, so I am not even going to speak to him if he wants to. He can go argue with his mother instead.
 
S

SnapIT

Banned
Jul 8, 2002
4,355
1
0
Originally posted by: Yeeny
He comes home today, woohoo, WWIII begins. :p Ugh, I hate fighting, so I am not even going to speak to him if he wants to. He can go argue with his mother instead.
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Just throw him out... he can go live with mom if necessary...
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
We have three kids, its not that easy. I don't want to throw their daddy out, I want to avoid getting to that point for as long as possible. I just want him to be adult about all this, I know its hard, I am going through it too. :(
 
zCypher

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
116
How come he ISN'T living with his mom or someone else? They probably won't put up with him any longer.
Originally posted by: Yeeny
We have three kids, its not that easy. I don't want to throw their daddy out, I want to avoid getting to that point for as long as possible. I just want him to be adult about all this, I know its hard, I am going through it too. :(
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Damn... Well, definitely stress to him that you should be handling this like serious adults in that case. Sounds like the way he's acting he wants to hang on to you, and the kids, and not let go. But if he agreed to something, he agreed to something. That should be the end of it. You definitely don't want to be the big bad mommy that throws out daddy - but something has to be done nonetheless. Sorry I can't offer any sound advice, but good luck. :Q
 
S

SnapIT

Banned
Jul 8, 2002
4,355
1
0
Originally posted by: Yeeny
We have three kids, its not that easy. I don't want to throw their daddy out, I want to avoid getting to that point for as long as possible. I just want him to be adult about all this, I know its hard, I am going through it too. :(
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The adult thing would be to spare the kids from your fighting and just throw him out...

The only thing you are doing is dragging this out, you want him to leave but he don't want to, so in the end, you will still have to throw him out...
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
We don't fight in front of our kids, thats one rule we both stick to, thank God. I think I am gonna give him a deadline, of when to be out, by the end of the month. And if not, then I guess I will cross that road when I get there.

I hate being a bitch, dammit. :p
 
zCypher

zCypher

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2002
6,115
171
116
Originally posted by: Yeeny
We don't fight in front of our kids, thats one rule we both stick to, thank God. I think I am gonna give him a deadline, of when to be out, by the end of the month. And if not, then I guess I will cross that road when I get there.

I hate being a bitch, dammit. :p
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You don't have to think of it that way. It's not "being a bitch", it's putting your foot down and you should be proud of yourself to do it. It pisses me off to see women not put their fut down, and just submit or "go along" with things. My exgf wouldn't put her foot down on anybody, and it definitely bothered me as it actually affected us. Her bro is nearly 30 years old and still living at home, free, with no job. See what happens when people don't put their foot down?

Do it, and you're not a bitch for doing it, by a long stretch. If he makes you feel that way, he really, really needs to leave.
 
dabuddha

dabuddha

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
19,579
17
81
Originally posted by: zCypher
Originally posted by: Yeeny
We don't fight in front of our kids, thats one rule we both stick to, thank God. I think I am gonna give him a deadline, of when to be out, by the end of the month. And if not, then I guess I will cross that road when I get there.

I hate being a bitch, dammit. :p
Click to expand...
You don't have to think of it that way. It's not "being a bitch", it's putting your foot down and you should be proud of yourself to do it. It pisses me off to see women not put their fut down, and just submit or "go along" with things. My exgf wouldn't put her foot down on anybody, and it definitely bothered me as it actually affected us. Her bro is nearly 30 years old and still living at home, free, with no job. See what happens when people don't put their foot down?

Do it, and you're not a bitch for doing it, by a long stretch. If he makes you feel that way, he really, really needs to leave.
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agreed
but you need to have a plan ready for in case he doesn't comply. It'll make life easier having a plan of action ready.
 
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