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Armitage
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Heh!
Not often you get to say "Fvck You" by fax 🙂
She asked to exclude a portion of her monetary assets as premarital, even though she has contributed to them, manipulated them, etc. during the marriage. So I said fine, if I can do the same, and you can show proof of the value before the marriage.
Just faxed proof that I had premarital assets nearly equal to half of the current value of our marital estate. That makes the $10K + car agreement damn close to what she's entitle to anyway.
If anybody is confused ... premarital assets like bank accounts, cars, etc. can be excluded from inclusion in the marital estate, but only if they were not mixed with marital property during the marriage (ie. contributing to the account, withdrawing from it, etc.). You can try to track things back and establish that some portion of the remaining asset is premarital, but that generally involves CPAs, and alot of time & effort. And in my case, most of those assets have been substantially mixed with marital assets, particularly the house, so it wasn't worth the effort. But her lawyer is offering to forgo consideration of mixing assets during the marriage, and work from straight pre-marital values.
Not often you get to say "Fvck You" by fax 🙂
She asked to exclude a portion of her monetary assets as premarital, even though she has contributed to them, manipulated them, etc. during the marriage. So I said fine, if I can do the same, and you can show proof of the value before the marriage.
Just faxed proof that I had premarital assets nearly equal to half of the current value of our marital estate. That makes the $10K + car agreement damn close to what she's entitle to anyway.
If anybody is confused ... premarital assets like bank accounts, cars, etc. can be excluded from inclusion in the marital estate, but only if they were not mixed with marital property during the marriage (ie. contributing to the account, withdrawing from it, etc.). You can try to track things back and establish that some portion of the remaining asset is premarital, but that generally involves CPAs, and alot of time & effort. And in my case, most of those assets have been substantially mixed with marital assets, particularly the house, so it wasn't worth the effort. But her lawyer is offering to forgo consideration of mixing assets during the marriage, and work from straight pre-marital values.
Armitage is a member name that I created when I first posted this situation. I had some reasons for not associating it with this account (ergeorge) at the time, but the Armitage account was quickly and pemanently banned. The initial reasons for not posting it as myself don't seem to matter anymore, so here it is. I may ask the mods to change my user name to Armitage though ... kind of like the feel of it.
Armitage
Armitage
I'm suprised she hasn't tried to give herself blackeyes or throwing herself down the stairs. I think she wants the kids to hurt you more. She even knows she can't take care of them for 7 days but thinks that it would probably hurt you more.
Women are weird. My soon to be mother-in-law has a "adopted"(not really legally) daugther, she is actually her son's ex boyfriend. Who got married to another guy and now has a baby and is living in their(my mother in law). She makes it out to be a competition with the husbands mother in who is the better grandmother. The reason she has them in the house is so she can be closer to the grandson(although not really a true grandson).
Women are weird. My soon to be mother-in-law has a "adopted"(not really legally) daugther, she is actually her son's ex boyfriend. Who got married to another guy and now has a baby and is living in their(my mother in law). She makes it out to be a competition with the husbands mother in who is the better grandmother. The reason she has them in the house is so she can be closer to the grandson(although not really a true grandson).
Update...
My lawyer found an extra $5 in assets that she conveniently neglected to put on her financial affadavit. She reported the current balance of her state employee pension fund rather then the surrender value ... which includes a 50% state match. At the same time, I've dug up records to support excluding about $40K of the estate from consideration as pre-marital assets or the result of inheritance during the marriage. I'm guessing that her lawyer is advising her to retract the previous offer to neglect mixing of premarital assets with marital assets. Meanwhile, she still won't give me a straight answer on anything related to division of assets.
On another front, she's spending like a fiend ... new 36" panasonic TV that goes for about $700, and furniture that I estimate she paid about $2000 for. Meanwhile, I'm wondering where my car insurance payment is coming from this month 🙁
All for now
My lawyer found an extra $5 in assets that she conveniently neglected to put on her financial affadavit. She reported the current balance of her state employee pension fund rather then the surrender value ... which includes a 50% state match. At the same time, I've dug up records to support excluding about $40K of the estate from consideration as pre-marital assets or the result of inheritance during the marriage. I'm guessing that her lawyer is advising her to retract the previous offer to neglect mixing of premarital assets with marital assets. Meanwhile, she still won't give me a straight answer on anything related to division of assets.
On another front, she's spending like a fiend ... new 36" panasonic TV that goes for about $700, and furniture that I estimate she paid about $2000 for. Meanwhile, I'm wondering where my car insurance payment is coming from this month 🙁
All for now
Yea, I know. I'm 3/4 of the way through a $4K retainer ... and her lawyer is more expensive then mine. I figure he has to be taking a look at her financial affadavit himself and wondering where future fees are going to come from. Her original $2K retainer was put on her credit card.
I'm thinking about getting another appraisal done on the house as well. A neighbor who is in real estate, and another in construction both think my appraisal came in to high. She may be wishing she had taken that $20K offer soon.
JeffreyLebowski
Lifer
As much as you love your kids, what you should do is let her have them, then in a month or so call CPS(child protective services) and file a complaint stating their living conditions are poor and the mother is in capable of caring for the children.
Women do sh1t like this all the time to get custody, so time for us dads to reverse it on them. Or find a shady lawyer that will file child abuse aligations on her.
Women do sh1t like this all the time to get custody, so time for us dads to reverse it on them. Or find a shady lawyer that will file child abuse aligations on her.
Of course, when I confront her about that letter she still claims she doesn't want my premarital assets but that's "just my lawyer doing his job." and ""I didn't know about that letter". Which is crap of course ... either she's lying, or her lawyer is out of control and acting against her wishes.
Anyway ... I asked her to sit down and talk yesterday. Asked her straight up what she wants out of the property settlement. She said 50% of the equity in the house, her legal fees and the car. I told her the legal fees are a non-starter. I won't pay that on principle. She's the one that brought this all down on our heads. She's the one that has escalated the situation at every possible turn and cost us thousands more in legal fees then if she had been reasonable. I should be asking her to pay my legal fees.
Anyway, she was pushing my buttons the whole time ... I had to keep catching myself to not rise for the bait, and stay on track. Some of the stuff she said was absolutely unbelievable :| She has basically convinced herself that this is all my fault and I'm the bad guy in the whole situation. Anyway, I kept it on track, and after some haggling she agreed to 50% of the equity in the house minus half of the money she cleared out of the home equity LOC at the begining of this mess, and the car. No legal fees. I think a key negotiating point was my statement that I would file for discovery to find out just where all her money has gone for the past few years.
She called me back later that night to add the condition that I don't ask for any conditions on foriegn travel. I'm countering with some reasonable conditions ... I hold the passports, she notifies me 30 days prior, and provides a full itinerary, etc. So we'll see. I'll believe it when I see it in paper & signed. Then I've got to scramble to refi and come up with the money somehow.
On other fronts ... the kids seem to be taking everything in stride, which amazes me. But my therapist says that, at their age, if we don't put them in the middle of it they will adapt well. The problems will come later 🙁 Still, breaks my heart when they are always asking who's house they are staying at tonight, is mommy picking us up tonight, etc. 🙁( And my wife is being a PITA on this front to some degree also ... she made changes to her work schedule & the kids daycare schedule without asking me first, and now expects me to adjust my plans to accomodate it ... and my plans include a trip to the east coast to drive my new (used) car back to Colorado. :|
So maybe this thing is winding down ... at least as far as the legal crap. Of course I'll have to put up with her for at least the next 16 years. Wouldn't be so bad if I could just walk away and never see her again, but as it is, my stress and anxiety levels just go through the roof just talking to her or seeing her. I had backed on on the therapy sessions for awhile ... need to stick with that awhile longer I guess.
Anyway ... I asked her to sit down and talk yesterday. Asked her straight up what she wants out of the property settlement. She said 50% of the equity in the house, her legal fees and the car. I told her the legal fees are a non-starter. I won't pay that on principle. She's the one that brought this all down on our heads. She's the one that has escalated the situation at every possible turn and cost us thousands more in legal fees then if she had been reasonable. I should be asking her to pay my legal fees.
Anyway, she was pushing my buttons the whole time ... I had to keep catching myself to not rise for the bait, and stay on track. Some of the stuff she said was absolutely unbelievable :| She has basically convinced herself that this is all my fault and I'm the bad guy in the whole situation. Anyway, I kept it on track, and after some haggling she agreed to 50% of the equity in the house minus half of the money she cleared out of the home equity LOC at the begining of this mess, and the car. No legal fees. I think a key negotiating point was my statement that I would file for discovery to find out just where all her money has gone for the past few years.
She called me back later that night to add the condition that I don't ask for any conditions on foriegn travel. I'm countering with some reasonable conditions ... I hold the passports, she notifies me 30 days prior, and provides a full itinerary, etc. So we'll see. I'll believe it when I see it in paper & signed. Then I've got to scramble to refi and come up with the money somehow.
On other fronts ... the kids seem to be taking everything in stride, which amazes me. But my therapist says that, at their age, if we don't put them in the middle of it they will adapt well. The problems will come later 🙁 Still, breaks my heart when they are always asking who's house they are staying at tonight, is mommy picking us up tonight, etc. 🙁( And my wife is being a PITA on this front to some degree also ... she made changes to her work schedule & the kids daycare schedule without asking me first, and now expects me to adjust my plans to accomodate it ... and my plans include a trip to the east coast to drive my new (used) car back to Colorado. :|
So maybe this thing is winding down ... at least as far as the legal crap. Of course I'll have to put up with her for at least the next 16 years. Wouldn't be so bad if I could just walk away and never see her again, but as it is, my stress and anxiety levels just go through the roof just talking to her or seeing her. I had backed on on the therapy sessions for awhile ... need to stick with that awhile longer I guess.
I'm tempted on the discovery bit just to see what the hell has been going on. But the faster I can put some distance between myself & this situation, the better it will be me, the kids, everything.
Kids & counselling ... my son is only 2 and a half ... counselling isn't going to do much there. Therapist did suggest I bring in my daughter sometime, but hasn't happened yet.
And wow ... I really can't string together coherent thoughts or spelling at 0100 either
Kids & counselling ... my son is only 2 and a half ... counselling isn't going to do much there. Therapist did suggest I bring in my daughter sometime, but hasn't happened yet.
And wow ... I really can't string together coherent thoughts or spelling at 0100 either
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