Arg, another rant, sorry bear with me. (NOT YAGT)

[Miramonti]

he may be your best friend but you may not be his best friend right now, as long as he wants to choose others first. you can't make someone choose you and if you try it will backfire. sounds to me like he's getting into partying and wants to be with that group of friends and since it doesn't seem to be a situation where you can all hang out together, he's taking that route right now. I suggest letting it breath and if he wants to be more of a friend at some point then maybe you'll still be there to be a good friend. calling 1-2 times a week tho sounds clingy. your relationship with him clearly is more important to you than him at this point, and to no fault of eachother, things go in stages and you just got to not put all your chips in one basket and have other friends. if you guys are really good friends, he'll come back around...if he eases up on the drugs at some point that is, but you never forget your best buddies.

 

[Red Dawn]

The thing is at your age you and others you know start to develop into the person you eventually are going to become as an adult. Friends that you were close too as you were growing up drift apart and head off into different paths. The sdituation you are going through has happened to almost all of us. It seems your friend is heading of into a different path that you are. It perhaps is sad for you that a friend that was close and a confident might not feel the same towards you as you feel towards him. That doesn't mean that you and him can't still be friends but you probably will never have that same relationship with him that you have had oin the past. As you get older you will make other close friends which will take the place he held in your life at one time. That's part of life and all you can do is just accept it.

 

[Blieb]

I kind of went through this. Only it was because of my friend's new GF.

First year (last of HS), he would ditch us a lot. It's cool to spend time with other people, just don't make plans with your boys and bail out.

Second year (first of College), we roomed together, hung out once in blue moon, when him and the woman would fight, still talked a lot when we were both around.

Third year, roomed together off campus, he was never home on the weekends, same stuff, chit chat when we were around, but other than that didn't hang out.

Then, the fourth year, he got engaged, and informed me that he could no longer speak to me, and that someday I'd understand. I said "I hope you end up as a better husband and father than you turned out as a friend."

I'd see him on campus once in a while, and just cold stare as we'd walk right past one another. After having not spoken a word to him in about 10 months, he AIM'd me out of the blue. We hung out and he appologized. And now we're great friends again.

You kind of just have to let things take their natural course, which makes things so hard --- but know that you don't need anyONE but yourself.

I'm going through a lot of this with feelings for my ex right now. I was totally copacetic for about 2 months, but now I've been having weird dreams, and have really been wanting to see her. It's very difficult because we live on the same street (like 50 yards away). I haven't spoken to, or seen her since Nov 11. I have to constantly remind myself that she treated me like sh!t, and will be miserable without me ... and in the meantime I have to find ways to make myself happy and fill the void.

Life's a bitch sometimes. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

[katka]

There has to be a reason, and maybe he just doesn't want to say.

I had this problem with a girlfriend when I was younger. She was about 7 years older than myself and married with one child. I started to separate myself from her because she was taking over my life. I think that she was only trying to be helpful, but it was too much. She wanted me to be in a serious relationship no matter what! I was not sleeping around I didn't feel it important, but she did. I was encouraged to do things that I considered to be bad all in the name of friendship. No they were not illegal or anything but just wrong in my opinion.

Also, she would tell her husband personal things about my life which I did not appreciate. That is the best way to get written off, disclose my personal business, I have even put people to the test on this one.

There were a bunch of other little things, but finally I had enough and started to separate myself. I felt bad because when I did she and her husband were expecting their second child and she was very upset all of the time because of the friendship.

I did not want or intend to hurt her but I had to take my life back. Whilst, this obviously isn't your scenario I just want you to know that there is a reason and that maybe he wants to be friends but just not as close as before, and you're taking it as him rejecting your friendship.

 

[johnjohn320]

I appreciate everyone's input, it all makes a lot of sense, it's still just hard. Maybe I'm an over-emotional teenager, but that's the way it is I guess. I mean, I'm not sheltered, I've dealt with loss and grief, loved ones have passed away, friends have been crippled, parents have been separated and hospitalized, etc. What I'm trying to say is I know this isn't the world's biggest situation, but it still matters a lot to me and hurts more than just a little bit. Maybe that's just it-through all the $hit that's ever hit the fan, my friends were always something I could count on, and lately I'm feeling less and less like that.

However, I'd like to mention that yes, I do have other friends, so it's not some sort of pathetic lonliness or anything. Matter of fact, Friday night I'm having the little aforementioned party, and lots of my friends are showing up, so maybe that will sort of rejuvinate me. It's just lately, things don't seem to be quite the way they used to. I'll admit it, it's a fault of mine: I'm insecure (at least lately) about my social status. No, I don't care about fitting in with a certain crowd or being "cool", I just hate sitting alone by myself on Friday/Saturday nights. Makes me feel like life, and my youth, is passing me by, y'know?

 

[slycat]

yes, it can be very hard especially when u got years invested in this
but, there's not a lot u can do.

A handshake takes 2 willing hands.

 

[Deeko]

I'm still not reading it till you shorten it Mr Schwabb

 

[Orsorum]

Makes me feel like life, and my youth, is passing me by, y'know?

Aye, as it must. Enjoy the ride, but remember to let go when the time is right.

 

[Siddhartha]

People change and there is not much you can do except accept it and move on. Maybe he will reach a point when he will want to spend time with you again but....

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Deeko
I'm still not reading it till you shorten it Mr Schwabb

Oh Fine. Cliff Notes:

Good friend for many years, really close, kinda best friends in a way. I left town last summer, and while nothing's changed in some senses (we still talk all the time and it's just like things have always been, laughing and joking, nothing's awkward or weird). But, everytime I call to see if he wants to hang out, he can't for one reason or another, and is always hanging out with these other people. I'm not jealous, they're cool people, but I don't understand why he seems so unwilling to hang out with me outside of class but is always just the same ol' guy in class and during phone conversations.

If you need more details, read the damn post.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Deeko
I'm still not reading it till you shorten it Mr Schwabb

Oh Fine. Cliff Notes:

Good friend for many years, really close, kinda best friends in a way. I left town last summer, and while nothing's changed in some senses (we still talk all the time and it's just like things have always been, laughing and joking, nothing's awkward or weird). But, everytime I call to see if he wants to hang out, he can't for one reason or another, and is always hanging out with these other people. I'm not jealous, they're cool people, but I don't understand why he seems so unwilling to hang out with me outside of class but is always just the same ol' guy in class and during phone conversations.

If you need more details, read the damn post.

Now was that so hard?

Kinda weird...maybe he is just acting the same, who knows

 

[wyvrn]

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Deeko

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Deeko
I'm still not reading it till you shorten it Mr Schwabb

Oh Fine. Cliff Notes:

Good friend for many years, really close, kinda best friends in a way. I left town last summer, and while nothing's changed in some senses (we still talk all the time and it's just like things have always been, laughing and joking, nothing's awkward or weird). But, everytime I call to see if he wants to hang out, he can't for one reason or another, and is always hanging out with these other people. I'm not jealous, they're cool people, but I don't understand why he seems so unwilling to hang out with me outside of class but is always just the same ol' guy in class and during phone conversations.

If you need more details, read the damn post.

Now was that so hard?

A lot harder than it would have been for you to read the first post.