Pilsnerpete
Platinum Member
English Language
The European Union commissioners have announced
that agreement has been reached to adopt English as
the preferred language for European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan
for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this
news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by
"f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent
shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kanbe dropd
from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
lik zey vunted in ze forst place.😉
The European Union commissioners have announced
that agreement has been reached to adopt English as
the preferred language for European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan
for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this
news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced
with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by
"f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent
shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kanbe dropd
from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
lik zey vunted in ze forst place.😉
