Shift behavior and shift speed and firmness can all be re-programmed (or changed out parts in the valve body). I know shift behavior is purposefully programmed to not allow you to break the car, I'm just saying people who think they have a manual if they have a +/- on their conventional automatic (read: torque converter + planetary gears) should think again, it doesn't work that way. Sorry to break it to anyone who thinks this, but you aren't going 65 mph in first gear because that's where you left the stick. Every car I've been in with pretend manual slap stick mode will continue to upshift and downshift automatically regardless of you pretending to keep it in a single gear; in other words it's fairly pointless. It will not let you redline or hit the rev limiter or behave with any semblance to a manual in factory form.
Also if you think an auto can't do hard firm shifts, you need to ride along in an old school muscle car with a shift kit that gives you whiplash and broken motor mounts with every shift. Current day transmissions are made to shift sloppy with some solenoid overlap from the factory for a reason.
The real determining factor and the distinction people are making when they talk manual vs. automatic is solid vs. fluid coupling between the engine and transmission (and to a lesser extent, straight gear layouts and synchros vs. planetary gear sets and brake bands). This is why an automatic with "manual mode" is still referred to as an automatic by everybody, while a dual clutch SMG which is also fully automatic is still referred to as a "manual" even though it isn't (because it's a manual style gearbox layout with shift forks and such).