Anyone here good with reviewing a short paragraph? (Grad school application)

[VAisforlovers]

I am applying to grad school and I wrote a short essay to address my low undergraduate GPA. It is recommended that I address it in one of the essays. It is fewer than 200 words total so about a paragraph. Can anyone here help me by reviewing it? I will pm it to you. The application deadline is in a few days so I'm hoping to finalize it soon.

 

[Leros]

You can PM me. I'll take a look.

 

[pete6032]

I can help too, just finished my master's recently. PM me if you need.

 

[yhelothar]

I'm currently working on my grad school apps as well. Feel free to send it this way.

 

[EliteRetard]

Good evening, Clarice.

 

[SandEagle]

you can send it to me. i promise not to laugh at it or post it here. i have 2 master dergees.

 

[EliteRetard]

you can send it to me. i promise not to laugh at it or post it here. i have 2 master dergees.

This was my first option.

 

[VAisforlovers]

Thank you to everyone who volunteered to help. I have my essay in a very refined and concise format now. Anyone willing to help with a final check? It is less than 160 words (1 paragraph).