- Oct 9, 1999
- 21,014
- 137
- 106
I sit near a guy who has an unending obsession with weather and traffic. I'm talking obsession!
First thing when he arrives, he calls his wife and offers a play-by-play of his trip in to work, taking care to not overlook a single maneuver that someone pulled that he didn't like. If it happened to be raining or snowing during that time, then he'll ask me how my trip to work was. Did it take longer than usual? Were there any traffic backups? It was snowing this morning, so he quizzed me about if I saw any salt trucks and if there were any icy spots. Hey, if we were going OUT, it would make sense. But we're going to be HERE for the next 8-10 hours, so WHO CARES!
And God forbid if he saw a truly unusual driving maneuver on his way to work, because every single person who comes to his office all day will have to hear the story. Except that I have to hear it 20 times because I sit too close.
If he makes calls during the day, he will give the mini-weather report to each callee. He's just made three calls in two hours and every person got the rundown.
"Well, they are calling for 1-3 inches of snow here in the city, but north of here they say it could be 4-6 inches. We'll get less here in the city because it could be mostly rain. It's raining now, but I think the temperature is dropping. It could turn to snow any minute. If it gets colder we'll get more snow than the 1-3 inches. Could be an interesting trip home later! They'll have to call out extra salt trucks if it gets colder. I'll probably leave a bit early to avoid the rush hour if it's snowing. You know those idiots will get their trucks stuck in the traffic and things will come to a standstill. I might go around the west side because even though it's a little longer, there's less traffic and it will probably be moving."
Around lunchtime he'll call his wife again and ask what the weather is. "How much snow? How cold is it? Has it let up? Did you go out? What are the roads like? Are they still calling for 4-6 inches?"
Then before he leaves, he'll call her again. "What's it like there? How are the roads? Did you hear anything about the Interstate?" And since it's snowing today, everyone he bumps into for the last half-hour before he leaves will get a little sermonette. "I'm heading out shortly because the weather looks bad and I'm not going to get stuck in that traffic when the idiots have their salt trucks stuck in rush hour and they can't get the roads clear. I'm going around the west side (translation: if you're not going around the west side like he is, then you are stupid) to stay away from all that mess. You know they'll never keep it clear once rush hour starts. It might look OK now, but with that snow coming down they'll never keep up."
Where you and I would drive to and from work and consider it nothing more than a routine part of the day, for this guy each and every driving experience and change in the weather is a saga that needs to be shared with everyone on the planet.
Pray that he has a smooth trip home because if he doesn't, tomorrow morning is going to be multiple extended-version retellings of the play-by-play of his drive home and I'll be in Serenity Now mode.
First thing when he arrives, he calls his wife and offers a play-by-play of his trip in to work, taking care to not overlook a single maneuver that someone pulled that he didn't like. If it happened to be raining or snowing during that time, then he'll ask me how my trip to work was. Did it take longer than usual? Were there any traffic backups? It was snowing this morning, so he quizzed me about if I saw any salt trucks and if there were any icy spots. Hey, if we were going OUT, it would make sense. But we're going to be HERE for the next 8-10 hours, so WHO CARES!
And God forbid if he saw a truly unusual driving maneuver on his way to work, because every single person who comes to his office all day will have to hear the story. Except that I have to hear it 20 times because I sit too close.
If he makes calls during the day, he will give the mini-weather report to each callee. He's just made three calls in two hours and every person got the rundown.
"Well, they are calling for 1-3 inches of snow here in the city, but north of here they say it could be 4-6 inches. We'll get less here in the city because it could be mostly rain. It's raining now, but I think the temperature is dropping. It could turn to snow any minute. If it gets colder we'll get more snow than the 1-3 inches. Could be an interesting trip home later! They'll have to call out extra salt trucks if it gets colder. I'll probably leave a bit early to avoid the rush hour if it's snowing. You know those idiots will get their trucks stuck in the traffic and things will come to a standstill. I might go around the west side because even though it's a little longer, there's less traffic and it will probably be moving."
Around lunchtime he'll call his wife again and ask what the weather is. "How much snow? How cold is it? Has it let up? Did you go out? What are the roads like? Are they still calling for 4-6 inches?"
Then before he leaves, he'll call her again. "What's it like there? How are the roads? Did you hear anything about the Interstate?" And since it's snowing today, everyone he bumps into for the last half-hour before he leaves will get a little sermonette. "I'm heading out shortly because the weather looks bad and I'm not going to get stuck in that traffic when the idiots have their salt trucks stuck in rush hour and they can't get the roads clear. I'm going around the west side (translation: if you're not going around the west side like he is, then you are stupid) to stay away from all that mess. You know they'll never keep it clear once rush hour starts. It might look OK now, but with that snow coming down they'll never keep up."
Where you and I would drive to and from work and consider it nothing more than a routine part of the day, for this guy each and every driving experience and change in the weather is a saga that needs to be shared with everyone on the planet.
Pray that he has a smooth trip home because if he doesn't, tomorrow morning is going to be multiple extended-version retellings of the play-by-play of his drive home and I'll be in Serenity Now mode.
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