Anyone else socially anxious? (in real life)

[Woosta]

I can never talk in crowds.. but when there aren't much people around I talk much more.. anyone else the same way? Have you been this way all your life? Or have you changed?

 

[NanoStuff]

Originally posted by: Woosta
I can never talk in crowds..

Sure you can, you just have to speak a bit louder due to the background noise.

 

[moshquerade]

just drink a couple of beers

 

[RESmonkey]

I talk best when there are only 2 people. 3 is pushing it. Anymore and it's over

 

[TBone48]

I've been like this my whole life. If it wasn't for my wife I would never speak to new people. I totally freeze in a group of people, and I'm not much better one-on-one.

 

[OUCaptain]

If it's an intelligent conversation...never have. I used to sometimes if I was around "the cool guys". Nothin a few beers didn't fix. I eventually got over it. Now I'm twice as fun when I'm drunk.

 

[OUCaptain]

Originally posted by: TBone48
I've been like this my whole life. If it wasn't for my wife I would never speak to new people. I totally freeze in a group of people, and I'm not much better one-on-one.

I think what got me out of it was I happened across a job in telecom that forced me talk professionally all day with secretaries to CEOs. After I got the professionalism down, I started learning to joke around bit by bit. Before I knew it, :arms in the air: I WAS HEALED!!! The only solution is to force yourself into those situations and realize that the other people don't see you like you do in your head. They are much more forgiving than you are to yourself. If they are not...fuck em. Find new friends

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

I'm much more comfortable after a couple beers or a joint. Otherwise I think too much about what to say.

 

[Scouzer]

i used to take effexor XR for this reason. i'm not too bad though.

 

[xanis]

Usually it just happens when I'm introduced to a new group of people. I worry about the impression I make on them and if they like me or not. I guess that's more along the lines of being self-conscious, but I think it still applies.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

Originally posted by: Xanis
Usually it just happens when I'm introduced to a new group of people. I worry about the impression I make on them and if they like me or not. I guess that's more along the lines of being self-conscious, but I think it still applies.

That's the way it is for me too. Once people get settled in though, it's all good. You can (almost) always find something to talk about.

 

[middlehead]

I'm the type that's fine once I get out, I'm just not outgoing enough to go out alone.

 

[xanis]

Originally posted by: ConstipatedVigilante

Originally posted by: Xanis
Usually it just happens when I'm introduced to a new group of people. I worry about the impression I make on them and if they like me or not. I guess that's more along the lines of being self-conscious, but I think it still applies.

That's the way it is for me too. Once people get settled in though, it's all good. You can (almost) always find something to talk about.

That's usually true. Sometimes though, like when I first got to college and I was trying to meet new people, I couldn't get in with any group of people and I had nothing to talk about.

 

[Jeff7]

I really don't care for crowds, at all. But then, everyone here already knows that.

 

[Woosta]

Originally posted by: TBone48
I've been like this my whole life. If it wasn't for my wife I would never speak to new people. I totally freeze in a group of people, and I'm not much better one-on-one.

Could you elaborate? How did your wife help?

 

[biggestmuff]

I used to be, then I turned 12 and grew a sack.

 

[zanejohnson]

i've always been a really social person, i knew most of the people on a first name basis in my graduating class...

 

[lucasorion]

My problem is small talk. I just don't have the patience for it, and can't fake it. This limits the opportunities for much social interaction, especially around the office. Everyone around me is going "Hi ___, how are you doing?" "I'm doing good, how are you?" to multiple people throughout the day - and I just can't bring myself to participate in this social ritual (I often think of the nature documentaries with primates picking through each others fur). You're not really asking someone how they are doing, or how their weekend was - it's so artificial. You're really just saying hello twice.

 

[Woosta]

Yeah, I try to avoid doing the ritualistic "hi, how are you doing" as well. Just feels so FORCED.

 

[LostWanderer]

Heck, I have anxiety posting here. How do you think I am in the real world?

Come to think of it, speaking your mind around this forum these days is LESS forgiving than the real world.

 

[destrekor]

Giving presentations and presenting the US Flag in front of large crowds (a stadium) tends to send into anxiety, and I cannot control my limbs from shaking. Well, with presentations, I don't shake, but speaking can be awkward (then again, sometimes my speech is just awkward as it is lol). I've gotten a little better, very slowly... just gotta be put into the situations more where you are forced to basically adapt.

+

 

[JJChicken]

Originally posted by: Woosta
Yeah, I try to avoid doing the ritualistic "hi, how are you doing" as well. Just feels so FORCED.

Doesn't have to be forced. take an interest in ur co-workers lives outside work and ull see they ll take more interest in u. it's all about give and take.

 

[UNCjigga]

I can never talk to hot girls that I see. I don't know why. This past weekend my roommate and I were in the Metro station, and we saw these two really cute girls. One was wearing a Wisconsin tee (and I must say she filled it out quite nicely!) It was ironic because at that very moment, I was texting a friend who was a big K State fan (they played each other in the tourney that day.)

So I turn to my roommate and say "it'd be cool if I went up to her and asked, 'Can I take a picture of your chest and send it to my friend just to piss him off?'" I laughed. He looked at me and said, "well, why don't you?" I kinda just stared, and at that point he went up to her and asked. She was all weird, but because he wasn't awkward he was able to strike up a conversation with the girls and play it off.

So we talked to them on the subway, found out they were headed to ESPN Zone (ugghh) and when we told them we were going to a bbq, they almost wanted to join us.

And yeah, I got the pic. But I barely said anything the whole time. Hot chicks just render me speechless.

 

[irishScott]

In terms of speaking in front of crowds, I feel some nervousness, but I'm always good at it (ie: I speak fluidly and don't choke up). Having a natural outdoor voice helps.

I have some lingering social insecurities, but those are out the window for all practical purposes.

 

[JJChicken]

Originally posted by: UNCjigga
I can never talk to hot girls that I see. I don't know why. This past weekend my roommate and I were in the Metro station, and we saw these two really cute girls. One was wearing a Wisconsin tee (and I must say she filled it out quite nicely!) It was ironic because at that very moment, I was texting a friend who was a big K State fan (they played each other in the tourney that day.)

So I turn to my roommate and say "it'd be cool if I went up to her and asked, 'Can I take a picture of your chest and send it to my friend just to piss him off?'" I laughed. He looked at me and said, "well, why don't you?" I kinda just stared, and at that point he went up to her and asked. She was all weird, but because he wasn't awkward he was able to strike up a conversation with the girls and play it off.

So we talked to them on the subway, found out they were headed to ESPN Zone (ugghh) and when we told them we were going to a bbq, they almost wanted to join us.

And yeah, I got the pic. But I barely said anything the whole time. Hot chicks just render me speechless.

Yeah that happens to me as well. I guess it happens to most of us here on ATOT.