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Anybody ever feel like they've been "settled for"?

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an interesting topic, geekbabe....

i think, alot of time, people don't really know that they are settling. They probably get swept up in the moment of being loved. that's the most dangerous thing though, cause you say things you don't understand.

i am usually the opposite. i'm constantly afraid of settling, so I push people away based on some conception of what will "work". In some sense, this is probably really good for me, but I suppose it can be (pardon the pun) unsettling for a guy who dates me.

maybe you are just suppose to know, though....
 
Originally posted by: lilFajita
an interesting topic, geekbabe....

i think, alot of time, people don't really know that they are settling. They probably get swept up in the moment of being loved. that's the most dangerous thing though, cause you say things you don't understand.

i am usually the opposite. i'm constantly afraid of settling, so I push people away based on some conception of what will "work". In some sense, this is probably really good for me, but I suppose it can be (pardon the pun) unsettling for a guy who dates me.

maybe you are just suppose to know, though....

So how do you know when you'll find somebody who isn't going to settle if you're always pushing people away?
 
interesting that you bring that up now... i was just faced with that decision today, and i decided not to settle (better explained in the thread i started)
 
In the past, yes.

My current g/f loves me more than anything, and she shows it so well there's not a doubt in my mind that I'm her knight in shining armor 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Zakath15
I was settled for, once, although I don't think she consciously knew it. Or maybe she did. She settled with another guy, then picked me up... we dated for a year, then we went to our respective universities, and she picked up someone else. She was never direct about anything - she was an extraordinarily manipulative person - but it was painfully (I thought it was real pain, at the time... I'll explain some other time, I suppose) obvious that she lacked any real level of respect for me and that she wanted to be with him. So, I let her go (dumped her, if you will)... one of the most painful things I'd ever done at the time. I've since been through worse, but that's of no consequence in this discussion, 😉.

Calvin, of the comic 'Calvin and Hobbes', said " That's the ironic thing about life: it's never so bad that it can't get worse."
As I recall he was floating, high in the sky, holding a helium balloon string at the time, and the balloon popped.
 
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: lilFajita
an interesting topic, geekbabe....

i think, alot of time, people don't really know that they are settling. They probably get swept up in the moment of being loved. that's the most dangerous thing though, cause you say things you don't understand.

i am usually the opposite. i'm constantly afraid of settling, so I push people away based on some conception of what will "work". In some sense, this is probably really good for me, but I suppose it can be (pardon the pun) unsettling for a guy who dates me.

maybe you are just suppose to know, though....

So how do you know when you'll find somebody who isn't going to settle if you're always pushing people away?
I meant that I'm afraid that I'm settling. That sounds kind of bad, but generally I mean that I am constantly balancing all the requirements (right religious background, someone my parents will like, caring...etc.), and trying to figure out if I am suppose to give one of those up when I meet a guy I like.
 
Originally posted by: godmare
Originally posted by: Zakath15
I was settled for, once, although I don't think she consciously knew it. Or maybe she did. She settled with another guy, then picked me up... we dated for a year, then we went to our respective universities, and she picked up someone else. She was never direct about anything - she was an extraordinarily manipulative person - but it was painfully (I thought it was real pain, at the time... I'll explain some other time, I suppose) obvious that she lacked any real level of respect for me and that she wanted to be with him. So, I let her go (dumped her, if you will)... one of the most painful things I'd ever done at the time. I've since been through worse, but that's of no consequence in this discussion, 😉.

Calvin, of the comic 'Calvin and Hobbes', said " That's the ironic thing about life: it's never so bad that it can't get worse."
As I recall he was floating, high in the sky, holding a helium balloon string at the time, and the balloon popped.

I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
In a relationship? you know like the other person was just going out with you,marking time till somebody better came along?

Thought this might make for some interesting posts, discuss at will 🙂
LOL!

Yes, when I was younger, there were a few that I think were that way. Didn't know until after of course. 🙁

: ) Hopper
 
Oh, I couldn't live a single day without you
Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, honey, you're the greatest
Well, at any rate, I guess you're...pretty good
Now, it seems to me I'm relatively lucky
I know I probably couldn't ask for too much more
I honestly can say you're an above-average lady
You're almost just what I've been looking for
You're sort of everything I've ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of
Well, not really...but you're good enough for now
You're pretty close to what I've always hoped for
That's why my love for you is fairly strong
And I swear I'm never gonna leave you, darlin'
At least 'til something better comes along
'Cause you're sort of everything I've ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of
Well, not really...but you're good enough for now
No, not really...but you're good enough for now
 
Originally posted by: pyonir
Oh, pyo, somebody will come along PERFECT for you!!!

Yep....probably in the nursing home in a few decades. WOO HOO!
Well, they may be senile in nursing homes, but unless the person is legitimately blind I am not sure you'll have any better luck there either 🙁
 
Well, they may be senile in nursing homes, but unless the person is legitimately blind I am not sure you'll have any better luck there either 🙁

*sigh* yeah...you're right. woe is me.

How in the hell did you drug/con MrsSkoorb into actually marrying YOU?
 
sometimes we just have to 'settle' for someone. if you're like me, the girl just has to be perfect. i understand that everyone has flaws, but i just can't accept somethings. and my theory is that if i'm not satisfied with the girl, it'll eventually lead to a break up down the road. because of that i don't want to be wasting valuable time, money, and resources on a girl that i know wouldn't last in the first place. so as of yet, i haven't 'settled' for someone. probably later down the line i will, AFTER school...hehe.
 
Originally posted by: pyonir
Well, they may be senile in nursing homes, but unless the person is legitimately blind I am not sure you'll have any better luck there either 🙁

*sigh* yeah...you're right. woe is me.

How in the hell did you drug/con MrsSkoorb into actually marrying YOU?
Two words: 10 inches.

 
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