Any suggestions on how to get rid of my phobia?

[MystikMango]

A friend told me once that turning 31 was the worst. That's when he knew he was closer to 40 than 20.

 

[Regs]

I can bury you alive. That should take care of claustrophobia.

 

[Rob9874]

Originally posted by: Booster

Originally posted by: Rob9874
I felt the same way, but am getting over it. My 20's have zoomed by! I turned 20 in 1994, and it's so hard to think that was 10 years ago. The past 10 years seem to have gone by as fast as the 4 years of high school. It's difficult to remember the difference between things that happened when I was 24 and 27. I'll be 30 in September, and am dreading it because I know the next 10 years will fly by as fast (if not faster) as the last 10. What happened to the 16 year old who knew that in 5 years, he'd still be young at 21? That feels like yesterday, as I stare 30 in the face.

But I think, this is the youngest I'll ever be for the rest of my life. Why worry about it? The only thing you can do about lost youth, is live your future better. Aging is inevitable, and you can't stop it. I think being 29 is super old, but I know in a few years, I'll think 29 is young, and I'll wish I had enjoyed it more. Then again, I go out sometimes and see how stupid and petty 21 year olds act, and think, I'm glad I'm not that age anymore. With their baseball caps, and tatoos, and piercings, trying to act cool around the women, thinking it's cool to drink alcohol. That all seems silly to me now. I guess that's the signs of getting old, but I wouldn't want to go back now.

Wow that's deep, interesting read. However, there is one more idea that bothers me. I think I'm not comfortable with my age b/c I don't matter much in this world. So to speak, I'm just a mere nobody. I do work full time, but at a dull job. I feel like I'm wasting my time there. I want to do something big, but do not see any obvious opportunities for that. That's a horrible feeling.

You need to read Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". I think it's part of Republic 7. Google it. It mentions how there's more to life than what we know, and that we need to find a way to discover it. I don't think age is your problem, as much as feeling like you're wasting your youth. I sort of feel that way. I always had dreams of being a rock star. Guitar is the only thing I'm competent enough to brag about, but I'm too realistic to shoot for the rock star dream. Now that I'm almost 30, I realize it's too late to try. Not that I would try if I were 24 again, but it's sad to know that the opportunity is gone.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Rob9874

Originally posted by: Booster

Originally posted by: Rob9874
I felt the same way, but am getting over it. My 20's have zoomed by! I turned 20 in 1994, and it's so hard to think that was 10 years ago. The past 10 years seem to have gone by as fast as the 4 years of high school. It's difficult to remember the difference between things that happened when I was 24 and 27. I'll be 30 in September, and am dreading it because I know the next 10 years will fly by as fast (if not faster) as the last 10. What happened to the 16 year old who knew that in 5 years, he'd still be young at 21? That feels like yesterday, as I stare 30 in the face.

But I think, this is the youngest I'll ever be for the rest of my life. Why worry about it? The only thing you can do about lost youth, is live your future better. Aging is inevitable, and you can't stop it. I think being 29 is super old, but I know in a few years, I'll think 29 is young, and I'll wish I had enjoyed it more. Then again, I go out sometimes and see how stupid and petty 21 year olds act, and think, I'm glad I'm not that age anymore. With their baseball caps, and tatoos, and piercings, trying to act cool around the women, thinking it's cool to drink alcohol. That all seems silly to me now. I guess that's the signs of getting old, but I wouldn't want to go back now.

Wow that's deep, interesting read. However, there is one more idea that bothers me. I think I'm not comfortable with my age b/c I don't matter much in this world. So to speak, I'm just a mere nobody. I do work full time, but at a dull job. I feel like I'm wasting my time there. I want to do something big, but do not see any obvious opportunities for that. That's a horrible feeling.

You need to read Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". I think it's part of Republic 7. Google it. It mentions how there's more to life than what we know, and that we need to find a way to discover it. I don't think age is your problem, as much as feeling like you're wasting your youth. I sort of feel that way. I always had dreams of being a rock star. Guitar is the only thing I'm competent enough to brag about, but I'm too realistic to shoot for the rock star dream. Now that I'm almost 30, I realize it's too late to try. Not that I would try if I were 24 again, but it's sad to know that the opportunity is gone.

i dunno the guys in bad religion are pretty old, although they started young. presidents are old too... i think you could still do it at 30. but what do i know heh

 

[Rob9874]

Originally posted by: gopunk
wow.... i get sad that i'm going to get older sometimes (i'm 19) but not to the extent that you do, apparently. i dunno i just accept it as a fact of life and try to make the most of the little time i have by doing things i enjoy, being with family and friends, while working to help ensure an enjoyable future as well.

It's hard to understand at 19. You look back 5 years, and you were 14. That was forever ago! And when you look 5 years ahead, you'll only be 24. Still young. But when you turn 24, the next 5 years results in 29. Now you're almost 30. Childhood is gone, adolescence is gone, and you're a real adult man now. Not everyone is prepared for that. Your future looks like white hairs, grown kids, retirement. And you think, "Wait! I was just in high school not too long ago!"

 

[Booster]

You need to read Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". I think it's part of Republic 7. Google it. It mentions how there's more to life than what we know, and that we need to find a way to discover it. I don't think age is your problem, as much as feeling like you're wasting your youth. I sort of feel that way. I always had dreams of being a rock star. Guitar is the only thing I'm competent enough to brag about, but I'm too realistic to shoot for the rock star dream. Now that I'm almost 30, I realize it's too late to try. Not that I would try if I were 24 again, but it's sad to know that the opportunity is gone.

That's really close to what I feel. However, I have a different problem. At least you knew you wanted to be a rock star, but I don't know what I'd really like to be doing. However, I know it's not what I'm doing now (I work as an accountant). When at work, I seem to enjoy it, but then come home later, get frustrated, and understand it's not something I'd like to be doing for the rest of my life. I want to do a different work, but don't know what it is. And more, I was educated in accounting and if I change a career all that education and stuff will just evaporate and I'd be where I was at 18.

 

[Gunbuster]

Man up

 

[stormbv]

Originally posted by: Booster

You need to read Plato's "Allegory of the Cave". I think it's part of Republic 7. Google it. It mentions how there's more to life than what we know, and that we need to find a way to discover it. I don't think age is your problem, as much as feeling like you're wasting your youth. I sort of feel that way. I always had dreams of being a rock star. Guitar is the only thing I'm competent enough to brag about, but I'm too realistic to shoot for the rock star dream. Now that I'm almost 30, I realize it's too late to try. Not that I would try if I were 24 again, but it's sad to know that the opportunity is gone.

That's really close to what I feel. However, I have a different problem. At least you knew you wanted to be a rock star, but I don't know what I'd really like to be doing. However, I know it's not what I'm doing now (I work as an accountant). When at work, I seem to enjoy it, but then come home later, get frustrated, and understand it's not something I'd like to be doing for the rest of my life. I want to do a different work, but don't know what it is. And more, I was educated in accounting and if I change a career all that education and stuff will just evaporate and I'd be where I was at 18.

Just be. I'll give you a secret to finding your Self: spoil yourself, fulfill your most immediate desires (sexual, emotional, physical) and turn your back on your consumeristic post-apocylyptic nightmare of a Life. Craziness is good....God loves crazy.

It's weird how suffering shows us what really matters in this world...and the more you suffer, the more you are rewarded. Ironic, kinda like Life, huh?

 

[stormbv]

Originally posted by: Gunbuster
Man up

Yeah...get that smokey smoke up in ya, Jake!

 

[beatle]

Are you afraid of death or just growing older? Are there people you look at and say "I never want to be like that!" There are several people I'd like to be like when I'm 50, 60, 70...

I remember from my high school psychology class that most people say the best years of their life are their 50s. Their kids have grown, they still have most of their health, and they're stable financially so they can pursue some of the things they didn't in their youth because of the need to establish themselves. We have a lot to look forward to in life if we CHOOSE to.

If you continue to feel bad about it, go seek professional help.

 

[KK]

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five.
That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number! or even a few ahead. How old are you? "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YESSSS

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,
you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 4! 0, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

 

[Booster]

Just be. I'll give you a secret to finding your Self: spoil yourself, fulfill your most immediate desires (sexual, emotional, physical) and turn your back on your consumeristic post-apocylyptic nightmare of a Life. Craziness is good....God loves crazy.

Yeah, I wish I could be like that. But where would I be then? That's the question I ask myself all the time. I think, well, at least I got some job and some career, many people don't have even that. Yep. But later on I ask myself, OK guy, who will you be in 10 years from now if you follow the chosen path? Does that picture satisfy you? And I see that 10 years from now only one thing will change in my life - I'll get older. That's it... I'd like to see myself actually making some progress in 10 years, but I'm afraid it won't happen if I continue living like this.

 

[stormbv]

Never underestimate the power of denial - American Beauty

 

[stormbv]

Originally posted by: Booster

Just be. I'll give you a secret to finding your Self: spoil yourself, fulfill your most immediate desires (sexual, emotional, physical) and turn your back on your consumeristic post-apocylyptic nightmare of a Life. Craziness is good....God loves crazy.

Yeah, I wish I could be like that. But where would I be then? That's the question I ask myself all the time. I think, well, at least I got some job and some career, many people don't have even that. Yep. But later on I ask myself, OK guy, who will you be in 10 years from now if you follow the chosen path? Does that picture satisfy you? And I see that 10 years from now only one thing will change in my life - I'll get older. That's it... I'd like to see myself actually making some progress in 10 years, but I'm afraid it won't happen if I continue living like this.

Do you know what irony is? Look more closer at the music you like, the movies you like, the books you like, your friends and family, and try to solve the puzzle of your Life. It's lying in a scattered mess before you.

 

[thomsbrain]

divorce your wife, get it on with your secretary, buy a corvette, dye your hair dark again.

oh wait, that's when you're 40.

 

[stormbv]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
divorce your wife, get it on with your secretary, buy a corvette, dye your hair dark again.

oh wait, that's when you're 40.

Hehe...get it out of the way now.

 

[iliopsoas]

see a therapist

 

[StageLeft]

I would suspect that it may stem from feeling like your life is going on, and away from you (as it is for all of us), and that you're scared of being 44 in the same place you are now, or 54, or 64, and having nothing to show for it, but the standard accomplishments that most people acheive in their lives. So, somewhere, you want something more.

BTW I hit 26 a week ago I've gone through periods of fear of old age as well, because it seems so finite. You may try finding peace in things such as religion, or eventually you'll have children and hope that they continue on when you die, being your legacy. I think your fear is not only quite natural but also positive, if only because it can enlighten you if you think on it enough.

 

[Sid59]

uhm .. you should talk to some professionals, they can help you out a bit.


on another side note, i read this out loud and it was interesting.


gerascophobia

 

[kranky]

Are you measuring your potential solely in terms of your career? That's only a small part of your entire life. A 40-hour work week is less than 25% of the total hours in a week. You said you wanted to do something "big" - that is certainly possible!

People sometimes identify too much with their job. Yes, a job is important - everyone has to work at something - but it's not representative of someone's entire existence. You can volunteer in any field you want, and make a difference in the lives of others while making a difference in your own life. You can start a part-time business in any field you want. You can take classes in any field you want. You can write, draw, sculpt, make music. Explore! Try different things. You will find something that appeals to you on a very fundamental level.

There a innumerable things that are available to you - and it doesn't mean that you have to change careers. And you'll find that as you broaden the number of things in your life that bring you joy, you will cease to worry about getting old.