I agree that getting media onto an iPad isn't as flexible as putting it on an android device, but it's not quite as impossible as you think.
I prefer to transcode all my media with handbrake anyway, because using supported codecs means you will get better battery life. But this isn't the most convenient thing to have to do.
If you don't want to do that, what you can do is use a 3rd party movie player app that supports the itunes document access. After you download the app, connect the device to the computer. Open itunes and go the application tab of the device. Scroll to the bottom and you should see the apps that supports documents. Click the movie player and you can drag all the movies you want into the app without having to add them to iTunes.
Most if not all 3rd party movie players support this and most if not all include ffmpeg to allow playback of .mp4 files. A lot of them allow you to upload movies over the local network using the browser too, but that is slower. There are also some 3rd party apps that let you drag movies into app's documents folder without itunes.
For what it's worth, I have access to every top of the line android phone/tablet, but I still prefer to transcode w/ handbrake (I actually use VidCoder on my windows box) and use an iPad mini w/ the app documents folder method I mentioned above. I do this because I find the actual viewing experience better and more responsive. I find the android media player to be kind of clunky and unresponsive, and seeking just isn't done as well.