Any guys ever gone for a urethral swab (STD test)?

[classy]

I've had it done a couple of times and it hurts something serious. And no I am not saying why so don't ask.

 

[Blundar]

I've had it done about 5 times. Heh.
What can I say? I f!ck too many hoes. And I have a habit of f!cking them hard enough to rip condoms to shreds. Really. I try to use protection and am foiled!

The only time swabbing hurt bad bad bad was in Cook County Jail in Chicago when I got arrested when I was 18. They swab everyone for syphilis I think so you can imagine how little mercy they show when they have 2000 guys lined up needing to get their dick swabbed.

There is a secret. PEE RIGHT BEFOREHAND. Pee will lubricate things enough that it does not really hurt at all - its just uncomfortable.

 

[dethman]

i saw this done a few times last week....*shudder* gawd i was cringing just watching...

 

[HamSupLo]

i had the cather in the uretha before.....owwwww..../me squeezes his legs together

 

[tcsenter]

<< The most painful thing a man has to go through is a spinal tap or at least thats what I would consider the most painful, >>

A spinal tap? They infiltrate with a local anesthetic before sticking the 'big' needle in. If that's the most painful thing you've been through, you haven't been through anything painful.

I've seen a hundred spinal taps and spinal anesthetics, and nobody died from it. The small risk of spinal headache that can occur afterwards can be something fierce, comparable to a migraine, but a spinal tap itself is not like breaking a bone or anything.

If you want to hear painful, consider having a testicular biopsy for post-vasectomy sperm extraction...while you're awake. They can't "numb" anything but the skin of the scrotum, because the local anesthetic can reduce a sperm cell's motility. So, you don't feel the scalpel cutting the scrotum, but everything deeper than that is fair game.

A small incision is made into the testicle, and the testicle is then squeezed so the tissue within which the sperm cells harbor will herniate through the incision. Sort of like what happens when you slowly squeeze a grape. A small bit of this tissue is then snipped-off and placed into a solution, which is immediately examined under a microscope for viable sperm. If no viable sperm, you have to get more tissue (which means repeating the process).

Its the most brutal thing I've ever witnessed and I had the best job of them all - I was the one who had to squeeze the testicle. The doctor kept saying that I wasn't squeezing hard enough. This guy was coming three feet off the table, tears streaming down his face, and I wasn't squeezing hard enough. The poor guy was sobbing like a woman when it was finished. I was sick to my stomach.

All because his "new" and much younger wife wanted children - HIS children - though he had a vasectomy 5 years before. They didn't want to pay for anesthesia, I assume that was the wife's decision.

 

[amnesiac]

Um, ouch.

 

[Nefrodite]

A small incision is made into the testicle, and the testicle is then squeezed so the tissue within which the sperm cells harbor will herniate through the incision. Sort of like what happens when you slowly squeeze a grape. A small bit of this tissue is then snipped-off and placed into a solution, which is immediately examined under a microscope for viable sperm. If no viable sperm, you have to get more tissue (which means repeating the process

oh lord, i want vid link

 

[thebestMAX]

Not really painful but creepy as hell. Ive had a scope with lube hurt more but nothing compares to a catheter.

 

[sourceninja]

I had a 3cm kidney stone once. I think that's the worst pain I've ever experienced until they broke it up.

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002
LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002
LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002

 

[Exterous]

I had a 3cm kidney stone once. I think that's the worst pain I've ever experienced until they broke it up.

Kidney stones are no joke. On the positive side hospitals seem to realize that and will take you back before a lot of the other people sitting in the waiting room

 

[IronWing]

LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002
LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002
LordJezo, Feb 3, 2002

That kidney stone now weighs twelve pounds and has it's own facebook page.

 

[ctbaars]

Yeah.. so...

A friend of mine needs to go for one of these tommorow. He is currently pacing the room behind me worried because we just finished reading many things on the internet about it and how it is one of the most painful things a man has to go through.

Anyone have any first hand experience with one of these things, and are there any alternatives to what sounds like a living hell?

Wow. Never came back to give us the results ... of the pain. Must have died!

 

[Iron Woode]

I had a 3cm kidney stone once. I think that's the worst pain I've ever experienced until they broke it up.

my last stone was 5mm and hurt like hell both in the ureter and coming out the urethra.

 

[zinfamous]

I do it about once per month...but not because I'm worried about STDs

 

[Chapbass]

I want to know why thebestmax was searching for urethral swab in order to find this ancient thread....

 

[zinfamous]

I want to know why thebestmax was searching for urethral swab in order to find this ancient thread....

I'm assuming that it was bumped by a spammer, who's been summarily extracted from the AT database, so it incorrectly appears that it was bumped by thebestMAX

 

[dank69]

I want to know why thebestmax was searching for urethral swab in order to find this ancient thread....

Probably getting tired of the same old same old Japanese incestuous game show porn like me.

 

[clamum]

OMFG, now there's a name I haven't seen in a long time. LORD JIZZO. I liked Mr. Jizzo, I wish he still posted here.

 

[thebestMAX]

I'm assuming that it was bumped by a spammer, who's been summarily extracted from the AT database, so it incorrectly appears that it was bumped by thebestMAX

True and thank you, Zin. Im weird but not that weird. Now tell me more about this Japanese incestuous game show porn.

 

[shortylickens]

I love epic necros. Its fun to see all the people who were banned or scared off or just got ticked and never posted again.


PSA: I've had 18 kidney stones and they all hurt. The first one was debilitatingly painful.

 

[Thebobo]

Kidney stones are no joke. On the positive side hospitals seem to realize that and will take you back before a lot of the other people sitting in the waiting room

tell them you have chest pains - bam your in. I sat for 5 hours with a horrible ear infection. Chest pain - come right through the door, was gallbladder.

 

[nakedfrog]

I love epic necros. Its fun to see all the people who were banned or scared off or just got ticked and never posted again.


PSA: I've had 18 kidney stones and they all hurt. The first one was debilitatingly painful.

That seems like a lot of kidney stones.

 

[Exterous]

tell them you have chest pains - bam your in. I sat for 5 hours with a horrible ear infection. Chest pain - come right through the door, was gallbladder.

Yeah I think it goes:
1. Bleeding out
2. Chest pains
3. Kidney stones
4. Everyone else

Overall fastest time might be the general kidney stones case though. Unless your entire kidney is a giant rock they give you morphine, a prescription and then send you on your way. Chest pain gets you test after test and, once they know your heart isn't immediately failing, those can take a while.

 

[ctbaars]

I love epic necros. <snip> PSA: I've had 18 kidney stones and they all hurt. The first one was debilitatingly painful.

Couldn't be that bad if it didn't make your "piss off" thread list ...