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Another Poker thread....

schizoid

Banned
So, I'm playing a low-limit ($20 buy in) tourney. I'm under the gun (which is poker jargon for in "early position". You should really know this stuff lolz!) and I get dealt AA! That's two aces! Normally, I like to play suited cards (Nothing beats a flush!) but I feel liek gambling. So, everyone calls the big blind (10 way action! My aces are gonna pick up TEN TIMES the pot!!!) and it comes to me. I think about raising, but then I realize that pocket aces suck (they're not even suited!) and that pocket pairs are a suckers bet in Hold 'em. Since I've got such a crappy hand, I decide to just call the big blind. It's only half a bet anyway, and so you should always call the big blind (but don't tell that to everyone! I still want to make money! Lolz!)

Wouldn't you know it, the turn comes Kh Th 5c, and I don't even have a heart! So no flush draw for me. Since I'm under the gun (which is poker jargon for early position) I have to bet. I figure at this point I'm way behind (I don't have any hearts...NOTHING BEATS A FLUSH!) so I check. I mean, I don't want to lose TOO much money here with my AA. So, the next couple of guys check, and then this guy bets. Everyone else calls to me. I decide to call since I think he's bluffing. The guys behind me call too.

The turn (that's poker jargon for the card that comes after the three cards that go in the middle) comes and it's a 7c. So, I decide to bet, since I'm in early position that means I can bet and everyone else has to fold if they have a worse hand. So I bet, but not as much as the the last guy did. Everyone else calls until the guy who bet on the flop. He raises all in. Everyone else folds to me, but I know he's bluffing, so I call!

Wouldn't you know, the last card thingee comes an d it's a 8d. So, I at least have two diamonds, although some more would have helped. The other guy flips over...wouldn't you know...a Ten of diamonds (THATS WHERE MY DIAMONDS WENT!) and a 5 of spades.

So the moral of the story is, don't ever play pocket aces cuz some guy who DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY will beat you and take all of your money.

Don't EVEN get me started about the time my flush lost to an open house!


 
You suck @ teh commentary, Mr. Poker Jargon.

Pocket pairs suck in a large game, and you're supposed to raise and bet big if you're going to stay in with them at all. Otherwise, you just give every moron with 2-6 suited a chance to catch. You got outplayed.
 
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
You suck @ teh commentary, Mr. Poker Jargon.

Pocket pairs suck in a large game, and you're supposed to raise and bet big if you're going to stay in with them at all. Otherwise, you just give every moron with 2-6 suited a chance to catch. You got outplayed.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!


I LOVE POKER!


Almost as much as I love the mental plankton that cruise ATOT.

I swear I'd love to play with you guys sometime.


Sigh.

The possibilities.

 
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.
 
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: TheLonelyPhoenix
You suck @ teh commentary, Mr. Poker Jargon.

Pocket pairs suck in a large game, and you're supposed to raise and bet big if you're going to stay in with them at all. Otherwise, you just give every moron with 2-6 suited a chance to catch. You got outplayed.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!


I LOVE POKER!


Almost as much as I love the mental plankton that cruise ATOT.

I swear I'd love to play with you guys sometime.


Sigh.

The possibilities.

Yeah, definitely a parody. Not too bad, it actually does sound like 90% of the poker threads in here.

I'll give ya' a 6/10.
 
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted
 
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part

 
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part


ummm....its a parody thread.

and a suck one at that.:thumbsdown:
 
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part

Quoted again so future generations can know what the surpreme grand dragon of the asshats posts like.

Seriously man...think of your kids.



 
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part

Quoted again so future generations can know what the surpreme grand dragon of the asshats posts like.

Seriously man...think of your kids.

lol

if it makes you feel better to "diss" me good.

regardless you still suck at poker.

 
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part

Quoted again so future generations can know what the surpreme grand dragon of the asshats posts like.

Seriously man...think of your kids.

lol

if it makes you feel better to "diss" me good.

regardless you still suck at poker.


Me? Let's play heads up for a bazillionty dollars!
 
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
Originally posted by: schizoid
Originally posted by: UDT89
its players like you that make the game suck.

you got what you deserved. Yea pocket pairs suck right? its a suckers bet? go find and learn poker odds preflop before you go into your next tournament.

thats one.

number two.

pocket aces is the BEST hand you can be delt preflop.

number three.

Since you didnt raise preflop you allowed your opponent, the one who eventually beat you, stick around to see a flop.

number four.

you got beat b/c you dont know how to bet. you let a 10 5 offsuit see a flop and you got burnt.

Pairs dont suck, you do.

Just quoting this so future generations will know what a toolshed posts like.


You = moted

find ONE person that plays poker correctly that doesnt agree with me.

you arent good, find a new hobby.

and for your information, its not a bad beat, its a bad play on your part

Quoted again so future generations can know what the surpreme grand dragon of the asshats posts like.

Seriously man...think of your kids.

lol

if it makes you feel better to "diss" me good.

regardless you still suck at poker.


Me? Let's play heads up for a bazillionty dollars!


ok lets play head up, im at ultimate bet. $100??
 
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