anger problems

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Dissipate

Diamond Member
Jan 17, 2004
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Why don't you simply avoid situations that make you angry? I think everyone does this to an extent, you just need to do it to a greater extent. Avoid conversations like the one you had with your friend.
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,112
930
126
oh, and don't forget the old deep breath and countdown from 10 method either. Amazing what 10-12 seconds will do. (same time required to get pissed, punch a wall or someone, but less consequence) ;)
 

dgm

Member
May 10, 2004
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Originally posted by: shady06do you mean counseling like a psychologist or something? i dont want people to think i have serious mental problems or anything like that. for the most part i'm a pretty happy go lucky person

Yeah, like a psychologist.

You don't have to be crazy to seek help. I went for some anger mgmt. therapy and it was quite helpful. I'll actually be going again, as the therapy seems to have worn off over time.

The cool thing about therapy is you can be totally honest with the therapist, since you don't know them and have nothing to lose by showing them your true self. It's quite liberating, actually.
 

Shockwave

Banned
Sep 16, 2000
9,059
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Originally posted by: Nebor
Don't worry about it, it's not your problem. Seriously, it's not like you're going off for no reason, things are happening that make you angry, that's a natural response.

Also, don't apologize for it, it's not something you can help.

And your making it sound like he's a victim. No, it IS his problem, it IS his fault, its NOT normal to fly off the handle at every little thing.
 

Mo0o

Lifer
Jul 31, 2001
24,227
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There are seminars for this stuff right. I'm sure you can find help there.
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
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91
And your making it sound like he's a victim. No, it IS his problem, it IS his fault, its NOT normal to fly off the handle at every little thing.


I agree... a few years back, I jokingly punched my old roommate in the shoulder. in response, he threw me like a ragdoll up against a bookcase and started screaming about how I should never try to assault him.

a few years of therapy really helped him :)
 

xSauronx

Lifer
Jul 14, 2000
19,582
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and i thought i was pissed because my wifes dog sat on the couch beside me and i threatened to throw it into the wall...damn

maybe you need a vacation
 

J Heartless Slick

Golden Member
Nov 11, 1999
1,330
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Originally posted by: Nebor
Don't worry about it, it's not your problem. Seriously, it's not like you're going off for no reason, things are happening that make you angry, that's a natural response.

Also, don't apologize for it, it's not something you can help.

Angry is not the best response in most situations. He needs to get some therapy before he does something he will regret for a long time.
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
Try overcoming the urge to snap back when you get upset. Take a few deep breaths and realize that it's not worth it to "go off." It only causes more tension and it scares people. Try to think of something peaceful, or ask yourself why it is that you're upset to begin with.
 

DurocShark

Lifer
Apr 18, 2001
15,708
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I have periods where I snap, yell, smash things, at the least provocation.

Those periods are getting fewer and fewer now that I've consciously been trying to control it. My reflex when I see red is to walk outside now. It gives me a breather and lets me get a handle on my anger. I then dissect it, pin it on a board, examine it, and try to figure out why it came out.

Really seems to work for me.
 

Aftermath

Golden Member
Sep 2, 2003
1,151
0
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dont listen to metallica

I've found that listening to music of any kind (even Metallica ;) ) helps me considerably.

My problem is, I'm quick to anger while driving sometimes. If someone tailgates me for several miles, or worse yet, has their high beams on at night while tailgating. Maybe someone will fly up on my butt, overtake, then cut me off with a few inches to spare when I'm already doing 10 over the limit. Stuff like that really just throws me into an angry little spat sometimes. I don't do anything about it, it's not like road rage. The most I usuaslly do is cuss the guy out with my windows up and sort of under my breath, but getting so angry over little crap can leave me sick at my destination, even if it's just a few miles away. For me, I've found that listening to music while I drive puts me in a much more passive state of mind. I'm much slower to anger, and I cool down and forget much faster if I do get angry.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
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Originally posted by: Nebor
Don't worry about it, it's not your problem. Seriously, it's not like you're going off for no reason, things are happening that make you angry, that's a natural response.

Also, don't apologize for it, it's not something you can help.
What the hell are you talking about? That's like saying somebody shouldn't be sorry for pedophilia because they're just compelled to it and can't help it.

OP needs to remove stresses from life (they make me angry, and may be doing the same to him), or go to anger counselling. In the meantime when he feels anger coming on he needs to be open with himself about it at the time and realize how stupid he looks/sounds, and just control himself, as an adult should.
feel that it is a huge personality flaw and a weakness in my character
We all get angry at times and go overboard, but your desire to control it is better than nebor's assertion that it's just a forgivable part of you.
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,758
603
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I just bottle all of my rage up and release it in bursts of swearing, usually directed at my cat or an inanimate object. It always worked for my dad as well.

Edit: Oh btw, I was actually being serious. My poor cat.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
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www.theshoppinqueen.com
Anger management courses can be helpful ,lol,but for some reason all I can think of is the Soprano's episode last night:)

I don't get really angry very often it scares me when I do.
 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
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ok, one possibly helpful suggestion... my old job used to make me really, really angry. after penting up all the anger all week, me and a coworker that I car-pooled with would have what we called Screaming Fridays.

on the drive home on Friday night, we'd blast the music, speed up, and just start screaming. it was a great way to release all the pent up anger and frustration, and was also a great relaxer :)
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
2
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My only piece of advice: Don't listen to Nebor. His advice is about as contrary as one could be about this issue. In fact, if you were to do the opposite of what he suggests, it would be a step in the right direction.
 

Nebor

Lifer
Jun 24, 2003
29,582
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Originally posted by: jjones
My only piece of advice: Don't listen to Nebor. His advice is about as contrary as one could be about this issue. In fact, if you were to do the opposite of what he suggests, it would be a step in the right direction.

I just broke 3 lamps and a drawer reading that post.