On purpose or by accident, you have hit the car for the job right on the nose. Most people would have chosen the '57 Chevy, but it's too cliche for me. A '58 Chevy is just the car for the job. I couldn't stay away from this place for long though. Sooner or later I'd sneak my way back in while trying to avoid the civil war.
*gasp*. Egads, could it be that linuxboy has typical male interests after all AND knows what his friends would do in strange imaginary cases? Mon Dieu ! Is it mere happenstance, the muse tapping on his head, by chance- a tad too hard? "I give correct answers regardless of the questions asked", the muse replies.
There you have it, Zen, a clear and succinct answer to your non-question.
*bump* In the hopes that linuxboy will stumble across this again with chapter two of the story.
Sure Zenmervolt.
. Don't have time to drag it out and really involve my readers, so I'll just end the story with this post. And I'm really giving a summary up until chapter 19 due to time constraints.
I thought I was your twin! Nice story, someone finish it.
You are the non-fraternal variety.
Chapitre deux de notre excursion aux profondeurs Offtopicaines Allez !
With the unexpected arrival of WombatWoman and a further discovery that nepotism has propelled HotChic to influential Party positions, turmoil ensues in upper-eschelon factions of the Party. Eakers' new baby is nowhere to be found while Adul's identity as a woman is reaffirmed bringing to question issues of the real father of this clandestine love-child. However, with secret executions and blackmails, linuxboy laughs again demonically (*MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*) over his victory with ruthless, Machiavellian politicking power over enemies. The fog in those times did not lie, and it was a heavy one settling further into a surreal Offtopicania as gopunk, the last true hero and believer in the Cause is banished and subsequently hanged face down in the streets until dogs maul his flesh. Since WombatWoman is temporarily forgotten with quick victories, plans form to begin a Golden Age of Anandtechian rule by the systematic destruction of people.
The formula has worked in the past so linuxboy begins it again. Promised grand futures and prosperous control over the land of Anand, new recruits begin the initiation while old soldiers who have remained loyal whip their motivationally-challenged comrades into shape (using real, quality naugehide whips). At this point, all the n00bs are moving into the ranks of Golden and Diamond while the old monikers slowly lose popularity or move away toward that big sphere that is present in the coveted, yet unknown to most, Real Life.
Troops who retreated during the Siege of AnandTown have been systematically destroyed, as part of the Cleansing. The Party cannot tolerate weaknesses. Drawn by the evil call, people flock from the far away lands of The Republic of Hardware and The Incorporated HotDeals Ferengi Nation to have some adventure and share in the dream of a great empire. New reserves fill in empty and abandoned factories to churn out suppiles and feed the war machine. It is the beginning of the end.
In AnandTown, TheBoss holds a strategy session to determine what to do. Men are gathered together, brought closer by a common grief clueless about the resolution and the fate of their land. Without reserves, with declining revenues and with no taxes from Offtopicana, the people are getting restless- no solution is in sight. After one 40-hour strategy session, the men are dead tired and fall asleep. Even the superheroes Zuni and AndyHui with their sidekick (HAHA !) NFS4 are tired.
As they slumber, drool, and snore, a quiet door opens. No one but God hears a stranger sashay into the room, and touching gently each brave warrior on his weary shoulder, gives them all fresh life and energy while they rest. God would call her an angel, but the reader knows our mystery character as WombatWoman. Powers untold and treasures unknown abide as she glides effortlessly to move TheBoss so he can rest and sits in the commanding chair, like Athena, awaiting for her devotees to awaken. Many hours pass, these are college students.
A yawn or sixteen later, they awaken, fearless leaders all (and their sidekick) to find the healing hand applied has made them well. Astounded by beauty, wisdom, strength, and power, they sit speechless to await what Den Mother has to say.
"Foolish children all ! Rebuke you how I may, how quickly you forget my presence here ! Do you not feel my hand in times of lock? Do you not read my words to laugh and think? Now that a tyrant has risen against you, do you sleep without remembering to invoke the gods? Idle minds, fraught with stupid youth, do now you consort with one another to defeat a monster? Listen to me as I speak, my words, though light, may they fall heavily on your ears. An evil has been done, a weapon created to destroy you all and you stand firm like valiant dreamers ready to die for a cause. Be wary, lest you die in vain. It's outside right now, with he who wishes death. If it shall come, and you asleep in these great plannings die, what given answer shall suffice for time spent idly? Turn your heads and listen, mind my words. You remember me as I came, and suddenly left, I do return again to tell you that a weapon will soon destroy unless you heed my words. Tonight, as the opposition sleeps, the best saboteurs and trained special forces must form a team to disarm the bomb and destroy blueprints so it can never be reconstructed. In the east side of the wall, three mile as the crow flies you will find a bunker hidden among shrubs. In it, the Super Weapon stands, ready to flatten AnandTown. Full schemas of the arming mechanism are in the folders in front of you. Be wise and follow through.?
They looked to thank, some to object, and as quickly as she came, she left, coming and going as she pleased- a woman of mystery who gives. Indeed, the plan was accepted and put to action. Pompous and sure of victory, linuxboy advanced with his armies to again lay siege to the lifeblood of the area and establish himself as emperor of Anandtechia. By this time, however, the SuperWeapon has been made useless, unbeknownst to linuxboy. Having finished a tunnel, the people have long since escaped and have gathered reinforcements to surround the armies and defeat them in a classic trap.
Closing in, with a guardian angel watching, all evil plots in a madman?s dream to conquer and subdue the good do ultimately fail as wallowing in muck and mud, that great assurance falters, the hidden serpents manifest since nothing bright comes from that base part which seeks to harm and control another. A mighty battle starts with the forces of destitute Offtopicanians losing, yet blindly following misled Generals. linuxboy is nowhere to be found, running off like a coward. After three hours they surrender to Anand and sign the Treaty of OT to coexist once more and sustain the mighty Forums with continued revenue streams.
The next three years are hard as reconstruction and reconciliation is never easy. Many must learn to give up, to rebuild, and to forgive themselves and others. Stories appear during these times, written by Mom that inspire and lead- a true transcendence and celebration of possibilities. Never far away, she surprises many with wit and good humor. Slowly, new mods are found and meek cries of ?pics? make themselves audible through broken windows. Some intrigue begins to develop with Russ? engagement to baffled2 and their joint campaign for the mayoral race against the resurrected Elledan. Some members are never heard from again as new faces create experiences in the community. TheBoss has also made progress, marrying his long-time sweetie, Amy and starting a software venture in San Francisco after completing college.
But what of linuxboy? Our hapless wonder who dares to spit at all that is humane and holy, judged invaluable my men since dawn of time? After the armies declared a truce, he was searched for but not found. Some rumor has it that he was Mombat all along, or a personality of Moonbeam in a mushroom-laden dream, a trickster put to teach what possibilities abound in the dark recesses of the human heart. Others claim that this never happened at all but that a mere ruse has been played as terrible tyrants cannot possibly lead others to commit so much evil.
I tell you stranger, it happened. As Providence would have it, I met an old man living on the outskirts of Offtopicania, never really straying far from the great land of Anand who told me a story of a young man in search of truth, love, and beauty, who took many detours and allowed the darkness of this world to overtake the good. In so choosing, the man-child became a monster blinded by sex, power, money, and control but never understanding what it meant to grow up and become human. I wanted to leave at that point, but there was a mischievous twinkle in the man?s eyes, like an old trickster who commanded me with a simple smile to hear the rest of the story so I stayed to discover the greatest tale of all time about a madman named linuxboy and what became of his life - about the old man himself.
And what of the rest that I heard and have seen? Ah, my dears, that? is another story. One that is not yet written in my mind and one that I will have to live through to tell, God willing. After all? I am the old man linuxboy.
HUZZAH MOMBAT ! (you write the comedy and I?ll stick to melodrama and tragedy that have happy resolutions or stories that demand the purchase of an additional $7 paperback sequels)
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Cheers !
Post Scriptum: I apologize for not really developing the themes I foreshadowed and hinted at. This is due to my own limitations and prior intellectual and time commitments. For those of you who do not know the inspiration for the story, gopunk started a thread about forming a company and making a bunch of money instead of living within this societal structure and it quickly disintegrated into a power struggle of the proposed society, with the general hilarity providing ample material to feed an imagination writing this story. Do a search for it if you like. Anandtechia lives !
*gasp*. Egads, could it be that linuxboy has typical male interests after all AND knows what his friends would do in strange imaginary cases? Mon Dieu ! Is it mere happenstance, the muse tapping on his head, by chance- a tad too hard? "I give correct answers regardless of the questions asked", the muse replies.
There you have it, Zen, a clear and succinct answer to your non-question.
*bump* In the hopes that linuxboy will stumble across this again with chapter two of the story.
Sure Zenmervolt.
. Don't have time to drag it out and really involve my readers, so I'll just end the story with this post. And I'm really giving a summary up until chapter 19 due to time constraints.I thought I was your twin!
Nice story, someone finish it. You are the non-fraternal variety.
Chapitre deux de notre excursion aux profondeurs Offtopicaines Allez !
With the unexpected arrival of WombatWoman and a further discovery that nepotism has propelled HotChic to influential Party positions, turmoil ensues in upper-eschelon factions of the Party. Eakers' new baby is nowhere to be found while Adul's identity as a woman is reaffirmed bringing to question issues of the real father of this clandestine love-child. However, with secret executions and blackmails, linuxboy laughs again demonically (*MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*) over his victory with ruthless, Machiavellian politicking power over enemies. The fog in those times did not lie, and it was a heavy one settling further into a surreal Offtopicania as gopunk, the last true hero and believer in the Cause is banished and subsequently hanged face down in the streets until dogs maul his flesh. Since WombatWoman is temporarily forgotten with quick victories, plans form to begin a Golden Age of Anandtechian rule by the systematic destruction of people.
The formula has worked in the past so linuxboy begins it again. Promised grand futures and prosperous control over the land of Anand, new recruits begin the initiation while old soldiers who have remained loyal whip their motivationally-challenged comrades into shape (using real, quality naugehide whips). At this point, all the n00bs are moving into the ranks of Golden and Diamond while the old monikers slowly lose popularity or move away toward that big sphere that is present in the coveted, yet unknown to most, Real Life.
Troops who retreated during the Siege of AnandTown have been systematically destroyed, as part of the Cleansing. The Party cannot tolerate weaknesses. Drawn by the evil call, people flock from the far away lands of The Republic of Hardware and The Incorporated HotDeals Ferengi Nation to have some adventure and share in the dream of a great empire. New reserves fill in empty and abandoned factories to churn out suppiles and feed the war machine. It is the beginning of the end.
In AnandTown, TheBoss holds a strategy session to determine what to do. Men are gathered together, brought closer by a common grief clueless about the resolution and the fate of their land. Without reserves, with declining revenues and with no taxes from Offtopicana, the people are getting restless- no solution is in sight. After one 40-hour strategy session, the men are dead tired and fall asleep. Even the superheroes Zuni and AndyHui with their sidekick (HAHA !) NFS4 are tired.
As they slumber, drool, and snore, a quiet door opens. No one but God hears a stranger sashay into the room, and touching gently each brave warrior on his weary shoulder, gives them all fresh life and energy while they rest. God would call her an angel, but the reader knows our mystery character as WombatWoman. Powers untold and treasures unknown abide as she glides effortlessly to move TheBoss so he can rest and sits in the commanding chair, like Athena, awaiting for her devotees to awaken. Many hours pass, these are college students.
A yawn or sixteen later, they awaken, fearless leaders all (and their sidekick) to find the healing hand applied has made them well. Astounded by beauty, wisdom, strength, and power, they sit speechless to await what Den Mother has to say.
"Foolish children all ! Rebuke you how I may, how quickly you forget my presence here ! Do you not feel my hand in times of lock? Do you not read my words to laugh and think? Now that a tyrant has risen against you, do you sleep without remembering to invoke the gods? Idle minds, fraught with stupid youth, do now you consort with one another to defeat a monster? Listen to me as I speak, my words, though light, may they fall heavily on your ears. An evil has been done, a weapon created to destroy you all and you stand firm like valiant dreamers ready to die for a cause. Be wary, lest you die in vain. It's outside right now, with he who wishes death. If it shall come, and you asleep in these great plannings die, what given answer shall suffice for time spent idly? Turn your heads and listen, mind my words. You remember me as I came, and suddenly left, I do return again to tell you that a weapon will soon destroy unless you heed my words. Tonight, as the opposition sleeps, the best saboteurs and trained special forces must form a team to disarm the bomb and destroy blueprints so it can never be reconstructed. In the east side of the wall, three mile as the crow flies you will find a bunker hidden among shrubs. In it, the Super Weapon stands, ready to flatten AnandTown. Full schemas of the arming mechanism are in the folders in front of you. Be wise and follow through.?
They looked to thank, some to object, and as quickly as she came, she left, coming and going as she pleased- a woman of mystery who gives. Indeed, the plan was accepted and put to action. Pompous and sure of victory, linuxboy advanced with his armies to again lay siege to the lifeblood of the area and establish himself as emperor of Anandtechia. By this time, however, the SuperWeapon has been made useless, unbeknownst to linuxboy. Having finished a tunnel, the people have long since escaped and have gathered reinforcements to surround the armies and defeat them in a classic trap.
Closing in, with a guardian angel watching, all evil plots in a madman?s dream to conquer and subdue the good do ultimately fail as wallowing in muck and mud, that great assurance falters, the hidden serpents manifest since nothing bright comes from that base part which seeks to harm and control another. A mighty battle starts with the forces of destitute Offtopicanians losing, yet blindly following misled Generals. linuxboy is nowhere to be found, running off like a coward. After three hours they surrender to Anand and sign the Treaty of OT to coexist once more and sustain the mighty Forums with continued revenue streams.
The next three years are hard as reconstruction and reconciliation is never easy. Many must learn to give up, to rebuild, and to forgive themselves and others. Stories appear during these times, written by Mom that inspire and lead- a true transcendence and celebration of possibilities. Never far away, she surprises many with wit and good humor. Slowly, new mods are found and meek cries of ?pics? make themselves audible through broken windows. Some intrigue begins to develop with Russ? engagement to baffled2 and their joint campaign for the mayoral race against the resurrected Elledan. Some members are never heard from again as new faces create experiences in the community. TheBoss has also made progress, marrying his long-time sweetie, Amy and starting a software venture in San Francisco after completing college.
But what of linuxboy? Our hapless wonder who dares to spit at all that is humane and holy, judged invaluable my men since dawn of time? After the armies declared a truce, he was searched for but not found. Some rumor has it that he was Mombat all along, or a personality of Moonbeam in a mushroom-laden dream, a trickster put to teach what possibilities abound in the dark recesses of the human heart. Others claim that this never happened at all but that a mere ruse has been played as terrible tyrants cannot possibly lead others to commit so much evil.
I tell you stranger, it happened. As Providence would have it, I met an old man living on the outskirts of Offtopicania, never really straying far from the great land of Anand who told me a story of a young man in search of truth, love, and beauty, who took many detours and allowed the darkness of this world to overtake the good. In so choosing, the man-child became a monster blinded by sex, power, money, and control but never understanding what it meant to grow up and become human. I wanted to leave at that point, but there was a mischievous twinkle in the man?s eyes, like an old trickster who commanded me with a simple smile to hear the rest of the story so I stayed to discover the greatest tale of all time about a madman named linuxboy and what became of his life - about the old man himself.
And what of the rest that I heard and have seen? Ah, my dears, that? is another story. One that is not yet written in my mind and one that I will have to live through to tell, God willing. After all? I am the old man linuxboy.
HUZZAH MOMBAT ! (you write the comedy and I?ll stick to melodrama and tragedy that have happy resolutions or stories that demand the purchase of an additional $7 paperback sequels)
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Cheers !
Post Scriptum: I apologize for not really developing the themes I foreshadowed and hinted at. This is due to my own limitations and prior intellectual and time commitments. For those of you who do not know the inspiration for the story, gopunk started a thread about forming a company and making a bunch of money instead of living within this societal structure and it quickly disintegrated into a power struggle of the proposed society, with the general hilarity providing ample material to feed an imagination writing this story. Do a search for it if you like. Anandtechia lives !
Facebook
Twitter