An oldie but goodie: Cyber Sex Gone Wrong

[geno]

Link

This has been around for a while, probably posted time and time again, but man is it funny

 

[Aves]

Definite repost, still funny though.

 

[Anubis]

I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

LOL thats funny

 

[rh71]

LOL @ the Egon and Winston bit. Oh man I can't control my laughter.

 

[geno]

Originally posted by: rh71
LOL @ the Egon and Winston bit. Oh man I can't control my laughter.

I was dying when I read that one, so cruel and so messed up

 

[UlricT]

gold!

 

[DrPizza]

I've got tears rolling down my face...

"HARRRRRRRRRR"

 

[geno]

bump for tonite

 

[Kenazo]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

ROFL!!!!

 

[dighn]

there are some new ones

 

[ElFenix]

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh sh!t
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

hahahah classic

 

[BigKev]

I put on my robe and wizard hat

LMFAO!! I still laugh every time I hear that.

 

[Shawn]

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an sh|t?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this sh|t is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

hahahahaha

 

[PowerMacG5]

Older than internet itself, but still funny.

 

[RU482]

Thanks, I just about died laughing at some of that stuff

 

[RossMAN]

bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

LOL

 

[geno]

Originally posted by: Marauder911
Older than internet itself, but still funny.

see my OP, I said it's been around for a while

 

[Aznbruin]

I'm crying out loud. That was hilarious.

 

[Triumph]

never saw this, but it's great!

 

[Goosemaster]

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

funniest thing on the internet. PERIOD.

 

[Amorphus]

Oh dear. This is older than dirt, and no repost nazis? Did I miss a new rule in the week I was gone?

 

[AgentDingBat]

It's new to me. WHat a trip.

 

[GoingUp]

the most unfunny crap ever, behind only seinfeld and fausto

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Amorphus
Oh dear. This is older than dirt, and no repost nazis? Did I miss a new rule in the week I was gone?

There are some new ones.

 

[AvesPKS]

I'd read it before, but it's still funny.