"The Neffer"
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I neffed on ATOT weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious CD of the long forgotten Doors,
While I typed, quietly singing, suddenly there came a ringing,
As of some audio alert pinging, pinging at my inbox door.
`'Tis some spammer,' I muttered, `ringing at my inbox door -
Only this, and nothing more.?
Ah, distinctly I remember it was late at night while others slumbered,
I had gone to Taco Bell, ordering a burrito, some cheese and a drink from the taco lord.
As I descended the stairs of my mother?s basement; - to the computer I went
Throughout the night my fingers danced and pranced across the keyboard-
Within that night, with each hit of post and reply of, Lifer I was toward
My threads accumulating in hoard, later to not be seen evermore.
And then the red locked symbol, dressing all my threads, began to appear
It thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt so near;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, and to steady the hand holding my beer
`'Tis some spammer invading, one of hating, my folder of my Gmail inbox door -
Some spammer, with penis enlargement promises, filling my folder of my inbox door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my fingers grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I opened up Outlook, my mercy I hope you implore;
But the fact is I made threads of Alba, Star Wars, and many a Y-A-G-T,
And so my post count increased, as many late night members began to see?
The Moderator light bulb was off for that I was sure ? so here I opened my inbox door; -
The email quoteth, ?take a week vacation,? and nothing more.
Horrors and chills filled me through and through,
This was an atrocity, one that was not to my lament to rue.
Log in I tried, error code 189 said the message at hand,
I tried again and nothing to my avail removed my temp ban, I grew weak and started to frail.
I started to sob, crying, so gently weeping, in need of tissues
A thought entered, I took it to Forum Issues, posting there more
A new account at hand, I posted at my defense, my heart still sore
I received responses of DIAF and WWYBYWB, and of flaming, bashing, and flamebait
And especially to my anger and agitation, an ownage post by M4H
I began to defend myself, I posted and quoted, but still got flamed more and more.
n00b I was called, neffer and trash, to insulting I stooped my course of attack sure,
Stopped, by bold edit letters, ?Nevermore!?
I set up a proxy, thinking, my thoughts sinking into my mind more and more,
I created account after account, and began posting in P&N, my PPD reaching ten,
Troll I was, arguing and calling names, comments of ?racist?, and ?whore?
But alas Anandtech Moderator got the last laugh and more,
My posts were edited, a ?BAN HIM!? picture appeared, and my ISP informed
And the Mean Mod quoteth,
-------------------------
?You shall be posting here nevermore.?
Anandtech Edgar Alan Poe Moderator
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I neffed on ATOT weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious CD of the long forgotten Doors,
While I typed, quietly singing, suddenly there came a ringing,
As of some audio alert pinging, pinging at my inbox door.
`'Tis some spammer,' I muttered, `ringing at my inbox door -
Only this, and nothing more.?
Ah, distinctly I remember it was late at night while others slumbered,
I had gone to Taco Bell, ordering a burrito, some cheese and a drink from the taco lord.
As I descended the stairs of my mother?s basement; - to the computer I went
Throughout the night my fingers danced and pranced across the keyboard-
Within that night, with each hit of post and reply of, Lifer I was toward
My threads accumulating in hoard, later to not be seen evermore.
And then the red locked symbol, dressing all my threads, began to appear
It thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt so near;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, and to steady the hand holding my beer
`'Tis some spammer invading, one of hating, my folder of my Gmail inbox door -
Some spammer, with penis enlargement promises, filling my folder of my inbox door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my fingers grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I opened up Outlook, my mercy I hope you implore;
But the fact is I made threads of Alba, Star Wars, and many a Y-A-G-T,
And so my post count increased, as many late night members began to see?
The Moderator light bulb was off for that I was sure ? so here I opened my inbox door; -
The email quoteth, ?take a week vacation,? and nothing more.
Horrors and chills filled me through and through,
This was an atrocity, one that was not to my lament to rue.
Log in I tried, error code 189 said the message at hand,
I tried again and nothing to my avail removed my temp ban, I grew weak and started to frail.
I started to sob, crying, so gently weeping, in need of tissues
A thought entered, I took it to Forum Issues, posting there more
A new account at hand, I posted at my defense, my heart still sore
I received responses of DIAF and WWYBYWB, and of flaming, bashing, and flamebait
And especially to my anger and agitation, an ownage post by M4H
I began to defend myself, I posted and quoted, but still got flamed more and more.
n00b I was called, neffer and trash, to insulting I stooped my course of attack sure,
Stopped, by bold edit letters, ?Nevermore!?
I set up a proxy, thinking, my thoughts sinking into my mind more and more,
I created account after account, and began posting in P&N, my PPD reaching ten,
Troll I was, arguing and calling names, comments of ?racist?, and ?whore?
But alas Anandtech Moderator got the last laugh and more,
My posts were edited, a ?BAN HIM!? picture appeared, and my ISP informed
And the Mean Mod quoteth,
-------------------------
?You shall be posting here nevermore.?
Anandtech Edgar Alan Poe Moderator
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