an eakers joke :P

[eakers]

A newfie calls 911.
"Hello, is this the RCMP?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor, Mike Fitzpatrick! He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the RCMP officers descended on Mike's house. They
searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes,
they busted open every piece of wood but found no marijuana. They swore at Mike and left

The next day the phone rang at Mike's house.
"Hey, Mike! Did the RCMP come to your house?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

 

[Keego]

That was great

 

[Electric Amish]

I didn't know dogs could use the telephone.

amish

 

[ElFenix]

whats the RCMP

 

[Brutuskend]

Good trick!

 

[m2kewl]

hehehe

 

[N8Magic]

Oldie but a goodie!

 

[eakers]

heres another:
How do you introduce 2 hamburgers?





































meat patty!

 

[N8Magic]

Originally posted by: eakers
heres another:
How do you introduce 2 hamburgers?

meat patty!

*ba-dum-cha*

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: eakers
heres another:
How do you introduce 2 hamburgers?





meat patty!

lol!

 

[bmacd]

heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

 

[Keego]

RCMP = royal canadian mounted police?

I dunno, I'm American


(my excuse to be ignorant! )

 

[N8Magic]

Originally posted by: Kyguy
RCMP = royal canadian mounted police?

Yup.

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: eakers
heres another:
How do you introduce 2 hamburgers?





































meat patty!

UHGHHH and people say MY jokes suck!!

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: bmacd
heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

awwwwww common: you know those wacky newfies.

 

[globalstud]

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb
and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

A penny saved is... not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your
nose.

None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

lol

 

[guyver01]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: bmacd
heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

awwwwww common: you know those wacky newfies.

WTF is a newfie??? is that a canadian thing???

i thought you meant newbie.. but i guess not

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: guyver01

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: bmacd
heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

awwwwww common: you know those wacky newfies.

WTF is a newfie??? is that a canadian thing???

i thought you meant newbie.. but i guess not

Some one from Newfoundland (did I spell that right?)

And I'm not even Canadian!!

 

[Gaard]

Originally posted by: eakers
heres another:
How do you introduce 2 hamburgers?



meat patty!

That's pretty good.

This one's better...

Female Hormones in Beer Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

 

[Aquaman]

ha ha ha

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[Keego]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend

Originally posted by: guyver01

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: bmacd
heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

awwwwww common: you know those wacky newfies.

WTF is a newfie??? is that a canadian thing???

i thought you meant newbie.. but i guess not

Some one from Newfoundland (did I spell that right?)

And I'm not even Canadian!!

That's what I assumed.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: globalstud
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you. Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader. Never underestimate the power of...termites. You can lead a horse to water but...how? Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty. No news is... impossible. A miss is as good as a... Mr. You can't teach an old dog new... math. If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning. Love all, trust... me. The pen is mightier than the... pigs. An idle mind is... the best way to relax. Where there's smoke there's... pollution. A penny saved is... not much. Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose. None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box. When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

Wow, a quoted list that was actually knock down, drag out funny!

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: guyver01

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: bmacd
heard it before. wasn't funny the first time either.

-=bmacd=-

awwwwww common: you know those wacky newfies.

WTF is a newfie??? is that a canadian thing???

i thought you meant newbie.. but i guess not

hmmm... they're wacky... must be like vermontans or whatever you call them

 

[cliftonite]